Love and Marriage
by I Kill Trees
Summary: [complete] AU Sex, love, and holy matrimony--2 out of 3's not bad right? Inuyasha didn't believe in love until the night before his wedding. One problem, it's not the woman he's supposed to marry. InuKag...essentially...
1. Last Night of Freedom

**Authors Notes:** Alternate universe and romance all the way baby! I'm not new to Fan Fiction, but haven't yet written for the Inuyasha section. But let's get one thing straight. I am a 110% supporter of the Inu/Kag love movement and Kikyo is definitely at the low end of my fav character list. But it's that nagging little empathy thing that lets you identify with her… a little… a very little … and thus the idea behind this story.  
  
**The low down:** This is a multipart song fic. The lyrics for each section will close each chapter. The song is a country song called "Holding Her and Loving You" and I think it fits quite nicely.  
  
  
  
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Love and Marriage  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Last Night of Freedom  
  
  
  
** "Set him up!" And the line of shot glasses filled with a well practiced flick of the wrist. A red-headed bar tender winked at Miroku as he pushed a drink at his friend and downed his own.  
  
"What's the occasion, Sugar?" she flirted as he stuffed a folded bill in her tip jar.  
  
"It's my boy's last night as a free man!" He threw an arm around his friends shoulder. Inuyasha sighed and closed his eyes so the stranger wouldn't see them roll. Miroku was trashed…. beautiful. He had staggered off the dance floor when he noticed the 'guest of honor' sitting alone at the bar. Now the only thing keeping the happy drunk on his feet was his hold on Inuyasha's comparatively sober shoulder. The bartender smiled as she sized the two up.  
  
Subject 1: A young and sinfully good-looking man. He was absolutely striking with his long silver hair, which was tied behind his back and large golden eyes. His face was almost boyish with a subtle naivety, however presently he looked more irritated than childish. The fact that his friend was singing along to the overhead music in a key that had yet to be identified and was sloshing alcohol on his shirt was not easing the threat of assault in his eyes. She could imagine he'd be adorable if he were to blush. Sweetly innocent with just enough mystery and danger to make him intriguing; this man embodied every school girl's fantasy of a lover. Diagnosis: Bad for business.  
  
Subject 2: A happy-go-lucky pretty boy. Holding himself upright with his friend's steadiness and giving her a grin that took up his whole face. This one would give up his wallet with the classic combination of booze and boobs. Perfect-- she had both.   
  
"I see." she said, "So you're getting married in the morning?"  
  
"Ding dong! The bells are gonna chime!" Miroku sang out and was promptly knocked to the floor. Inuyasha huffed and took his drink. He always had hated that song.  
  
"What was that for?" Miroku pulled himself up the next barstool.  
  
"You were about to knock me over, you drunken idiot!" Inuyasha growled.   
  
"Aww… Relax! The party is for you… being with the same woman night after night for the rest of your life. I'd be a grouch too if it were me, but at least I can celebrate the loss in competition." Miroku laughed and ordered another drink with a grin plastered once again on his face. You see a lot of types behind a bar and before long you pick out patterns in your customers. These two were further evidence to the already proven golden rule of relationships; opposites always attract. Still with the glaringly obvious differences between the two, they seemed to suit each other. It was like the pretty boy was the Jose Cuervo, and his friend the salt and lime. But all sentimentalities aside… a girl has to make a living and rent was getting more and more expensive.   
  
"I'll bet a cutie like you never had to worry much about competition though."   
  
Ahh yes… she was good at this game. A pleasantly surprised Miroku did his best to smile seductively in his inebriated state. She noticed his attempt which failed miserably as he couldn't seem to raise his eyes up past the dip in her shirt collar. She found him quite charming however when he placed more bills in her jar. Miroku couldn't help wondering about this nagging thought that he was forgetting something, but all his thoughts seemed to go away gazing into that beautiful face…. wait… he wasn't looking at a face… oh well. Faces weren't that interesting. Eyes, nose, mouth-- you've seen one, you've seen them all. What he _was_ looking at was far more fascinating anyway.  
  
Inuyasha shook his head finding himself the furthest thing from his best friend's mind. If Miroku didn't notice he was around, chances were no one else would either. So slipping a dollar across the bar and silently complimenting the woman on her tactics, he excused himself from his own party. He claimed his jacket at the clubs front door and gave one glance back at Miroku and the ambitious bar maid. She was pretending to laugh and Miroku was howling at his own humor.   
  
_'Just keep laughing man.'_ He thought grinning, _'Keep tipping and she'll laugh at all your stupid jokes until your bankrupt.' _  
  
The club bouncer nodded to him as he stepped out into the street. "Hey," Inuyasha called to him and fished around in his pocket for something, "I need a favor. I have a friend in there, his name's Miroku, pretty sure you'd know him" the bouncer chuckled and nodded. Yeah… they knew that one well. "He's not in any condition to drive home." Inuyasha handed the bouncer some bills and smirked. "After your bartender's done with him, I doubt he could afford it, but I'd like to make sure he takes a cab home."   
  
"Sure, no problem" the bouncer said. "I heard this was your bachelor party too. Good luck, man!"   
  
"Thanks.." Inuyasha said and turned down the dark streets toward his home.   
  
**1:00 AM**   
  
He checked his watch. It was pretty early for this part of town, but it was eerily quiet. Usually there would at least be a few barhopping drunks loitering in the alleys, but nothing. He shrugged it off . Most people would be afraid to walk alone at this time of night, anyway, and they probably should be. Inuyasha hadn't ever been one to be taken by a street criminal and never worried much about think of them. Besides, his apartment was only a few blocks away as he and Miroku had noticed on several occasions it was perfectly within stumbling range after a night at a bar.  
  
_'I'm getting married in the morning…'_ his thoughts played, _'Ding dong, the bells are gonna…SHIT!'_ he growled. Oh yes, he was going to kill Miroku for getting that stuck in his head. Stupid friends!  
  
A scream ripped him from his murder plots. His whole body tensed and he searched the dark streets. "Please no!" he heard in an alley up ahead and shot towards the sound. A woman was being attacked. He whipped around the corner and found he was right. A young woman was being held between two men.  
  
Situation Analysis:Two thugs. One big and ugly, the other meaner, smarter, and much the better looking. Each had a braid falling down their back although the ugly one had practically no other hair to speak of. Ugly was holding a girl in front of him, trapping her arms above her head. She was well dressed and very pretty. Other thug stood in front of her with a look suggesting far worse than just a robbery.   
  
Conclusion: These two really needed their asses kicked.  
  
"A pretty thing like you really shouldn't be wandering around places like this all alone." The man said and stroked the side of her face while she looked at him and seemed to want to vomit. "You could run into the wrong type of guys, couldn't she brother?"  
  
"Oh yes!" The ugly one agreed. "Very dangerous for pretty women to go out alone."  
  
Kagome really did feel like she would puke. It would serve this jerk right, and if she couldn't stop him, at least it would make it very unpleasant. _'I won't cry. I won't cry. I won't cry. I won't cry.' _ She repeated in her head as she did her best to squirm away from the man holding her. It was no use though, he was several times the stronger and she couldn't maneuver herself to strike him with her legs.  
  
_'Please don't let this be real!' _ her mind screamed as the other one stroked her face and came closer to her. She hated his face. He was just staring at her with sickening misogynistic cruelty. His face was so smug and cocky. So damn arrogant and spiteful. "Get your damn hands off her!" So crumpled and bashed and full of fist…. What?! She didn't get a chance to figure it out, because the thug that had been holding her roughly threw her against a wall and the back of her head bashed against brick.   
  
Inuyasha watched them run away. _'Fucking cowards!'_ he mentally spat. He had caught them by surprise and punched the one in front of her clean. It felt like he may have broken the bastard's cheekbone. Good. The second had flung the girl aside and went to attack him but lost all the air in his lungs with a jab to the stomach and most of his teeth with a clean uppercut. With a second wind, the formerly pretty one rushed at him, but Inuyasha managed to dodge and send the attacker to the dirt with a hit to the back as he went past.   
  
"Hiten! Let's just go" the ugly one insisted and pulled his brother to his feet. The fight belonged to Inuyasha and they best just retreat before someone in the bars called the police to report a disturbance.   
  
Inuyasha smirked confidently. He always did love the element of surprise. Those two had been completely off guard to any outside attack, they were so focused on… the… Oh yeah! The girl! He whipped around to see her slumped on the ground, head against the wall. She was out cold.  
  
"Wait!" he yelled and shook her shoulders. "Don't faint on me you stupid girl! Wake up and tell me where to take you." She wasn't waking up. Damn. He rolled his eyes and glared at the universe over head. _ 'Why me, huh?!' _The stupid universe was out to get him again and had just earned a point. Not knowing what else to do, Inuyasha sighed and took the unconscious girl in his arms and walked out of the alley. He'd take her back to his apartment and see if he could wake her up. Then maybe he could take her where ever she belonged.  
  
Getting in the building turned out to be a trick. He hadn't ever thought about it before, but it was actually hard to get a door open with a girl laying in your arms. Movies and television had lied to him, the traitors. The stairs to his apartment were even harder and he wondered what why he hadn't rented a ground level. Oh yeah--he had wanted the view.  
  
He managed to navigate his way up to his apartment and was adding a point to his score against the universe when he realized he was face to face with yet another locked door. Crap. Another point went to the universe.   
  
Inuyasha set the girl on the floor with her back to the wall and dug in his pockets for his key. She grunted and quickly lay down and tried to snuggle against the wall. "Hey! Are you conscious yet?!" he yelled at her. She grunted again and pouted as she rolled on her side in a more comfortable position on the hard floor. He growled at her sleeping form. The nerve of this girl! Grunting at him like he was some annoying alarm clock. Stupid, irritating, insolent, unconscious girl!  
  
He picked her up again and propped the door open with a foot as he carried her in, careful not to bang her head against the door frame. The last thing he needed was to give her a concussion. She would just be out longer. He laid her down on his bed and sighed. In sleep, she situated herself and found his pillow.  
  
"Now look!" he said sternly. "Don't get comfortable! You better just wake up and tell me where the hell to take you." Her answer was a sigh as she snuggled into his pillow which irritated him even more. He was about to yell at her some more when he managed to catch the smell on his clothes and had to suppress a gag. This was the worst thing about bars, the god awful smell of smoke that saturated your clothes afterwards. There was no way he could stomach this smell for long and he would have to change before he could think of anything to solve this new problem in his life. The smell hit him again. _'Ok, and maybe a shower.' _ He thought.  
  
"You!" he pointed at the sleeping girl. "Just…don't go anywhere until I figure this out. When I come back, you're out of here."  
  
His apartment was pretty modest considering his disposable income, but it was more than he needed. The rest of the money was spent mostly on a food budget, and he had the larger stock of instant ramen noodles than the space program. It happened to be the only thing in the world he knew how to prepare, but he never really cared to learn to cook anything else. Through his college years, he had stayed alive because of instant ramen noodles. He was immensely thankful to the product.  
  
A one bed, one bath flat with a small living area with a sliding glass doors leading out to a balcony. Modest, but with a great view of the city lights at night. His brother hated where he lived and he liked that just fine. It meant he wouldn't have to deal with snobby relatives showing up unannounced. Besides, the location already proved functional. _'Oh right… Miroku.'_ He thought as he walked out of his bathroom in some fresh sweat pants and T-shirt. If his friend staggered in to his apartment from the bar and saw an unconscious girl, Miroku would never let him forget it. No matter how drunk he got, Miroku always had a way of remembering _these_ kind of things.  
  
He locked his door.  
  
**5:00 AM**  
  
He stirred in his sleep as the strange sounds continued. He thought he had been aware of them for a while now, but they were louder and more insistent and pulling him closer to consciousness. He opened his eyes slowly and was confused. He was sitting up. That was strange. Why wasn't he in his bed? Oh, someone was already in his bed. That made sense… wait… no it didn't! Who was in his bed and why were they tossing around and whimpering?!   
  
_'Oh right!'_ he remembered _'That girl.'_  
  
She was shaking. She tossed her head from side to side whimpering. Whatever she was dreaming, it must be horrible to scare her like this. He went to her and sat on the side of his bed. She looked terrified and it tugged at his heart slightly. Poor girl, she had just been attacked in a dark alley and all he had done was yell at her and be annoyed with her. Wait… why was he feeling guilty all of a sudden. Besides, she had been unconscious, it wasn't like she could hear him.  
  
"Hey," he whispered, "hey calm down. It's alright. You're safe now." He reached up and touched her face gently. As soon as his fingers grazed her cheek, her eyes shot open and she gasped. He recoiled in shock and she pushed herself away until she hit his headboard. She looked around her into the dark room frantically and not recognizing her location, she looked even more like a frightened animal.  
  
"Please…" she whispered in terror, "I'll give you whatever you want, just don't…"  
  
"Hey hey hey!" he held up his hands to stop her. "I'm not going to hurt you! I promise." She pulled his sheets close against her chest and watched his every move. "Look, you were attacked in the alley, do you remember?" She shuddered and nodded.  
  
"He tried to… tried to" she stuttered but he stopped her.  
  
"Don't think about it. It's over now. I-I heard you scream and I saw them. But once they knocked you out and I didn't know what to do with you, so I brought you back to my place." He smiled and turned his body towards her to show her he had no weapon and demonstrate he wouldn't hurt her. It seemed to work a little and she relaxed just slightly, but she was still gripping his sheets in her fists like her life depended on it. "I tried to wake you so I could find you how to take you back to your home, but you were completely out. I couldn't think of anything else but let you sleep."  
  
"You--you saved me?" She looked up from her hands into his eyes.  
  
"It wasn't a big thing." His face softened. "Guys like that need to get the crap beat out of them." She looked troubled about something and it bothered him. "What?"  
  
"What were you doing out there so late at night?" she asked skeptically.  
  
"I was coming home!" he was snarling again. Women! Play the hero and they think you're a thug. That's gratitude. "If you must know, I was walking back from a party my friend was throwing. It was my stupid bachelor party that I didn't want to go to in the first place so I left early just in time to see some girl who was dumb enough to wander around this part of town alone at night get attacked by a couple of worthless thugs!"  
  
"Oh." She said embarrassed. He noticed she was fidgeting with something at her shirt collar. She hadn't really meant to sound that accusing, but it had just come out. She needed some way to cover that up quickly. "So you're getting married?"  
  
"Tomorrow." He nodded.  
  
"Congratulations." She offered smiling.  
  
"That's what they tell me." He wasn't actually pouting was he? Come on, he wouldn't be that childish. After all, she hadn't really meant it.  
  
"You don't sound very excited." She said, "Don't you want to get married?"  
  
He almost fell off the bed. "Do you always get this personal with people you don't know?!" he yelled.  
  
"Sorry, sorry!" she played it off with a wave of her hand. He was a strange man, and she could tell he was stubborn and short tempered, but he had just saved her and kept her safe in his home. "My name is Kagome, by the way" she held out her hand to him.  
  
He cocked his head to the side and gave her a funny look. "Inuyasha" he said finally. _'Strange girl...'_ he thought.  
  
"So why don't you want to get married?" she asked again with determination and almost sending him off the bed again.  
  
"Again with the personal questions!" he roared.  
  
"Well we know each other now!" she yelled back at him, but quieted herself quickly enough. "You do love her don't you?"   
  
Inuyasha suddenly felt like his T-shirt was trying to strangle him. "Look why do you want to know?"  
  
"Well if you're about to marry someone, you should be able to say that you love them without having to think about it." She said and suddenly looked conspiratorial. "Did you get her pregnant?"  
  
"NO!" This time he really did fall, but was up and towering over her with malice in half a second. He decided that this girl and Miroku would probably get along just fine.  
  
"So why are you getting married?!" she yelled at him before he could say the million mean things running through his head. Why did she have to have all these annoying questions… worse yet, why was she making him ask himself the same things? _'No!'_ he snapped at his mind, _'No, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to think about this. Now is not the time to think about this. I don't have to explain myself to her. I don't even know her! It's none of her damn business anyway! I am NOT talking to her about this.'_  
  
"Because she wants to marry me." He said quietly.   
  
Damn brain. It never listened to him!  
  
"But when you proposed to her, what were you feeling then? You must have wanted to marry her then." Kagome insisted.   
  
"It wasn't really like that." He said, more to himself in memory. "She asked something about what I saw of our future. I hadn't really thought about it, but she asked if I could see us being married. I had known her all my life. It felt like I had always been with her. How would being married really be that different?"  
  
There it was. It seemed so simple all of a sudden. He was silent after that and just looked off into space. This girl was making his whole life turn upside down so quickly. She made everything seem so simple.   
  
"She must really love you." Kagome whispered in the silence, playing with her collar again. She seemed to play with it in what he guessed was uneasiness.  
  
"Yeah, I know she does."  
  
"You're lucky then." She said, "It's hard to find someone to love you and who will be good to you. You should be thankful to her."  
  
"You don't…" he stuttered not thinking what the girl was suggesting was possible.  
  
"No." She said with a sad smile and messed with that thing at her collar again. "I don't have anyone who loves me, so you should be thankful you do. I haven't ever loved anyone either." She looked at him and felt like he was trying to catch her in a lie. "I don't mean I haven't dated! It's just that I never cared about anyone enough to want to commit to them."  
  
Finally he noticed what exactly what was around her neck. She was fingering a chain around her neck and he noticed a round violet jewel bouncing at her chest as she fidgeted with it. It seemed to be precious to her if she would toy with it everytime she was uncomfortable about something."You must have cared for one of them" he pointed to it, "to accept a gift like this?" His finger brushed against her collar bone as she turned away from him slightly.   
  
"No," she blushed, "nothing like that." Kagome held the jewel in her palm. She looked as if she were about to cry when she looked into the jewel. "This was a very old gem called the 'Shikon.' It's the jewel of four souls. My family has had it forever." She glanced up and gave him a smile, but her eyes were glistening. " My grandfather could tell you some ancient legend about it somehow, he puts so much faith in the old stories and never gets rid of anything. Just about everything at my home has a bizarre history." She smiled at some private memory and Inuyasha imagined him to be quite an interesting old man and smiled with her. But suddenly she really did look like tears were about to flow. He had to restrain his instincts to reach to her. "My dad had this necklace made for my 15th birthday. He died a month later."  
  
"I'm sorry," he said, and couldn't think of anything else to say.  
  
"It was a long time ago" she smiled at him.   
  
This was something he wasn't used to handling. What do you say to someone when you they tell you they lost a father? But it felt as if he should say something. Surely there was some perfect thing to say at this moment that was just escaping him. It was an insistant tugging at his heart to help, but really what could he do? It's not like he could just go back in time and stop the pain from happening. "Do you…" He was lost. _ 'Say something, idiot!'_ his mind commanded.  
  
"Miss him?" She offered smiling sadly. "Yeah, I always will." This was uncomfortable for him and she knew it. She didn't know why she even brought it up in the first place. She didn't need sympathy or someone to lean on. It had just come out and she was sorry to make him edgy with the knowledge. _'Please don't act like you have to be cautios and careful of my emotions.'_ she thought, _'I'm not a little china doll. I'm not going to break. I don't need anyone trying to protect my heart.'_ "Don't worry, I'm fine. It was a long time ago. I don't really know how to explain it, but there's just something that never really went away. That's all."  
  
"I don't think I understand." He said.  
  
"Well, family is unconditional. It's a kind of love that accepts you without question." He watched her trace patterns on his sheets as she reached back into her memory. "He always used to tell me that when I was born, and the doctors came and told him it was a girl, he couldn't have been happier. He had always wanted to have a little girl and he had gotten exactly what he had always wanted with me." She smiled but added as an after thought, "Oh! Not that he didn't love my brother just as much when he was born. But it wasn't the same thing, you know?"   
  
He nodded but didn't know what she meant at all.  
  
"I guess that's what I think love is. It's not finding some perfect person and then let all the little things disappoint you. It's knowing that the person has all those annoying little things but accept them as part as the person you love. Then, it's like you love even those imperfections because they belong to the one you love and they really do become perfect to you." She was still fidgeting with the bed sheets and looking at her hands.  
  
A hand traced the line of her jaw and pulled her face back up to meet two intense and uncertain eyes. She could feel his breath against her lips and she smiled up to him. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "You probably don't care about all this and I don't know why I'm telling you. I haven't really talked about this before."   
  
"I don't mind." Inuyasha said while tracing the lines of her face. _'What am I doing?' _he thought savagely, _'Pull away, idiot! Pull away!'_ His body wouldn't listen to him. So close-she was right there, only inches away from his mouth. Her breath was fast and warm against his skin. She was unsure as well, but he took it as some good sign that she wasn't pulling away either. He had to stop! He had to put some distance between the two of them. He didn't know what was happening that made him lose his senses all of a sudden, but every rational capability he had left was screaming at him to stop.  
  
He needed to look away from her eyes: sweet, innocent, mossy gray eyes staring through him. He had to force his hand away and stop touching her smooth, soft, completely perfect porcelain face. He couldn't focus on her sweet little candy lips that she probably hadn't even realized she had parted. He just couldn't do this, there was no question about it.  
  
He kissed her.  
  
It was soft, barely touching and he held it before gaining the nerve to add pressure. He felt her sigh in relief and return his pressure. His strong hand gripped in her hair to support her head as she craned her neck back while the other pulled her close at the small of her back. He felt her tongue gently tasting his lips and he turned his head to deepen the kiss and capture it. An unfamiliar passion was taking him and he doubted he could keep it subdued.  
  
Kagome was almost just as lost. Here she was with a man she had only met that same night and was kissing him with a passion she never realized she could muster. She was frightened of the aching he was causing within her, but she wanted it to stay. She wanted to pull herself closer to him and to feel more of whatever he would cause to stir inside her. She clasped her hands behind his neck and pulled herself closer. No wonder that girl wanted to marry him so much if… WAIT!  
  
"No!" her hands went immediately to his chest and pushed him hard. "No! This isn't right." She told a very confused and disoriented Inuyasha.  
  
"Wha… what?" he panted.  
  
"We can't do this" she scooted away and hugged herself. "It's wrong. You're getting married tomorrow."  
  
His eyes bulged and he remembered. He had forgotten! He had actually forgotten that he was supposed to marry Kikyo in ten hours. _'Shit!'_  
  
"You're right" he said and held his forehead in his hand. So many thoughts and emotions were stampeding through his head right now, it felt like it would explode. This was wrong. This was very wrong. He knew it… so why did all this wrong with Kagome feel more right than anything he had ever felt before? He had only just met her! He had thought if he couldn't love Kikyo, he must just be incapable of it. That or it just didn't exist.  
  
He cared for Kikyo yes, and would never hurt her for anything in the world. If things weren't right with her, then that must have meant they would never be right with anyone. She was the best he would ever possibly have. That was right and he knew it. That made sense. Kikyo made sense. With her, his life made sense, but then this girl comes along and nothing makes any sense. It was like waking up to a different reality.   
  
He didn't understand it. It made no sense. But he didn't want to fight it.  
  
"What if I was wrong?" he whispered. He cupped her cheek with his palm and smiled at as she sighed and leaned into his hand. "Is there any chance that this could be right?" He shifted to be closer to her and felt her hands push softly up his back. She was pulling him in closer to her as well. Their bodies were touching now and he could feel a quickened pulse thumping in his chest. He wondered just which of their hearts that was. Kagome was nervous and he could see she had never done anything like this before. He certainly hadn't.  
  
She didn't protest when he kissed her again. She didn't stop him when he deepened it. She willingly parted her lips to him and tangled her fingers in his hair as they explored each others mouths. _ 'What am I doing. I can't do this.'_ Kagome tried to convince herself to act._'I can't believe this is happening. I should stop him. I know I should. But I just dont want him to stop.'_ She would pay for it later she knew. That was just fine as long as she had this happiness now. He had no objections when he felt nervous little hands pulling up at the hem of his shirt.  
  
He growled and lowered her back down to the mattress. Blood was thumping in his ears as he kissed her with a passion he didn't know was there. Her whimpering moans beneath him kept him captivated and nothing else existed in the world except a small one bedroom apartment and this one girl, who was currently wrapping her legs around his waist. He didn't even try to fight it any more and pushed his shirt over his head, breaking their kiss just momentarily and working the buttons of her dress while her fingers clutched in his hair.  
  
Afterwards, he would remember screaming her name, the sound of his name as she moaned in pleasure, the feel of her hands clutching to his back, the smell of her breath panting in exhaustion, the taste of sweat on her lips, the pulsing of his heart racing as though it threatened to burst out of his chest, and feeling more complete than ever before his life. He would remember gathering her against his chest and losing consciousness with her sleeping form wrapped in his arms.  
  
It was all he never knew he always wanted and he would remember it all his life.  
  
**12:00 PM**  
  
He could swear he heard a pounding. Ugh… he must have one serious headache if he could actually hear the pounding. He should just stay asleep, that would fix it. If he didn't wake up, he wouldn't have to suffer the hangover. But he hadn't drank enough to have a hangover. It made no sense, but oh well. He'd stay asleep anyway. The pounding could go to hell.  
  
It didn't go to hell. It didn't go anywhere for that matter. It just stayed right were it was annoying him and making him slip further away from nice sleep. He growled and gave a muffled "Go'way…" into his pillow.  
  
"Time to wake up!" came a overly cheerful voice jarred him awake enough for light to assault his eyes. Inuyasha gave a yelp and rolled over on his belly, hiding his eyes from the horrible light. He flung an arm across the bed... and something was missing.   
  
"Get up!" The voice yelled at him. He was going to figure this out. Problem one, an overly happy voice insisting he wake up and generally being a pain and causing murderous thoughts to rise in his mind. Oh… just Miroku. Ok. Now the other problem.  
  
Things were all wrong. First it was too early for his liking and he was being coaxed out of bed by Miroku who he was pretty sure wasn't supposed to be here. Second, he had the distinct feeling that something was supposed to be here but wasn't and it had something to do with his arm stretching across his bed-his empty bed. Third… hadn't he locked the door last night to keep said Miroku out?   
  
It all snapped together when the ice water hit him and he sat up like he was struck by lightning. "Kagome!" he called yelled and looked around frantically.  
  
"Oh come on!" Miroku said holding a pitcher. "You didn't drink half as much as me so I know you weren't drunk enough to forget my name."  
  
"How did you get in?" he asked.  
  
"It's called a door…" Miroku said wondering why his friend looked so afraid. Granted, he wouldn't be walking on air if he was getting married in three hours either, but on Inuyasha, it was unnatural.  
  
_'What's going on?'_ Inuyasha thought miserably. Miroku was here with a tux. There was a wedding in three hours. And the one thing he wanted to see right now was no where to be found. He didn't remember the score anymore, but it was clear the universe had won.   
  
  
  


_ ***  
  
It's the third hardest thing I'll ever do  
Leaving here without you  
  
***  
  
_

  
  
**Next Chapter:** Improvisational Vows  
  



	2. Improvisational Vows

**Author's Notes:** I'm having fun here. It's kind of crazy to write because it's kind of taking on a life of its own. I've had some questions about the ending… well let me sing a you a little song: I'm not telling! I'm not telling! I've got this whole piece worked out I'm writing it as a whole; meaning I've got the chapter document and the whole piece "plan" document open at the same time and I'm going back and forth filling both out as I go along. So, oh yes… I know exactly how it's going to end. And for the record, it will be done in 8 chapters.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
Love and Marriage  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Improvisational Vows  
  
  
  
** _What's going on?'_ Inuyasha thought miserably. Miroku was here with a tux. There was a wedding in three hours. And the one thing he wanted to see right now was no where to be found. He didn't remember the score anymore, but it was clear the universe had won.  
  
***  
  
**12:02 PM**  
  
"What's going on?!" he screamed as he flung his sheets aside and leapt from his bed.   
  
"Whoa! WHOA!" Miroku cried and covered his face. "Get some clothes on man! I can live happily without seeing 'Little Inu' if that's alright!"  
  
Inuyasha grabbed his discarded pair of sweats from the night before. _'This isn't happening!' _he thought and was running across the room before he even had them completely on and calling out "Kagome?!" the whole way.  
  
He ran into his bathroom first. Please be there! No, same empty bathroom as he found it every morning, but it was wrong. There was water on his counter! He hated water on the counter and was obsessive about toweling it up after he used his sink. The lights were on, which was another thing that he never allowed. His toilet seat was down, which was always wrong for a man's apartment. Then there were those weird red spots on his floor-- none of it had been there before. It all proved she had been there earlier. He observed it all in a second without giving it much thought as room held no hidden Kagome, he bolted out again, crashing into an ill-placed Miroku who was following him in confusion.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" his friend screamed. No time for Miroku, thought and Inuyasha flung his sliding glass doors open out to his balcony. Nothing. Just a folding camping chair and an old coffee mug for mornings he wanted to actually enjoy the view he suffered the stairs for every day. With no place else he could think to look, he looked up. She couldn't have gotten on the roof could she? No way. "Where did she go?" he asked no one.  
  
"Where did who go?!" a very annoyed someone answered. "Will you_ please_ tell me what is going on?!" He looked up to the roof again. Maybe if she used the drain pipe and had a history in the circus… a pitcher collided with his head and knocked him back a step.   
  
"Will you knock it off?!" Inuyasha screamed at him and rubbed his abused head. "I have to find her!"  
  
"Find who?"  
  
"Kagome." Inuyasha said simply as though it were the only logical conclusion in the world.  
  
Miroku's unique mind began to calculate all that he had seen since he arrived this strange morning. Inuyasha naked in bed, plus Inuyasha running frantically around his apartment searching for some missing girl, plus Inuyasha's wedding being scheduled for 3:00 that afternoon, equaled "Oh… what did you do?" he wailed and slapped his hand over his eyes.  
  
"There was this girl." Inuyasha said quietly.   
  
Miroku stared at him incredulously and rubbed his temples. "A girl? The night before your wedding, and there was this girl?" Inuyasha couldn't help thinking there was something seriously wrong about Miroku lecturing him with moral outrage. "I can't believe you!" Miroku yelled. "I don't know what you could possibly be thinking. I can't believe… I didn't think of it first." Miroku smirked at his bewildered friend. You think you know a guy, but even your friends can surprise you.   
  
"Just stop that thought wherever it is in the filth that is your mind." Inuyasha growled. "You don't understand. I have to find her."  
  
"Is your wallet gone or something?"   
  
"Will you please be serious?" The panic and worry on his face convinced Miroku it would be best just to shut up and listen. Inuyasha was definitely not in a joking mood.   
  
"What happened?" he asked again, but much more gently and minus pitcher.   
  
"When I left last night," he started, "I heard a scream. She was being attacked and I fought them. They knocked her out and I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I brought her back here until she woke. When she did, she was so afraid. I told her I wouldn't hurt her and what had happened and then, everything changed." He looked to Miroku silently begging for some sort of answer. "I've never done anything like that before-never just lost my senses over a woman like that. I have to find her!"  
  
This was much worse than Miroku had thought. This hadn't been just a little night of fun before he was tied down for life. He was seriously believed this girl was something he couldn't leave behind.  
  
"What are you saying?" He asked dumbfounded. "You're supposed to get married today."  
  
Inuyasha was silent and looked to the ground, clenching his fists at his sides. "I don't know if I can."  
  
"Come on! Be serious, man." He said. "It's not like you're in love with the girl."  
  
"I don't know." Inuyasha said in misery. "I just don't know."  
  
"Inuyasha," Miroku said, "You and Kikyo have been together for years, but still it's only natural to be scared about getting married. Any man would, and it's understandable that would make you confused about your emotions, especially combined with a few shots a few hours before. Just because you have pre-wedding jitters, you don't just call off your whole future because some woman with a hero complex jumped in your bed!"  
  
That did it.   
  
"She wasn't like that!" He lunged forward, grabbing Miroku by the collar and pinning him against a wall a few inches above the ground.   
  
"Ok! Ok," Miroku choked out while gripping arms that held him up and beginning to turn a fascinating shade of green. "I'm sorry. Just calm down." Inuyasha growled and let him down, turning away as Miroku rubbed the hurt out of his neck and shoulders.  
  
"Just don't say that again." Inuyasha said sternly, "She wasn't like that."  
  
"Look," Miroku said, "I can sympathize here, but you've got to at least _try_ to be rational. I won't suggest anything bad about her again, but just try to think. You're the one who said that if you weren't pathetically, head over heals in love with Kikyo, then it just must not exist in the world, but then some spectacular girl just comes along and changes everything you ever thought?! Inuyasha, even I have to concede that sounds absolutely ridiculous. You don't know anything about this girl."  
  
He looked into his bedroom, remembering her. "You're wrong." He said flatly.  
  
"Oh really?" Miroku crossed his arms over his chest. "You think you know so much about her after one night of sex? Tell me then Lover Boy. What's her last name?"  
  
_'Shit.'_  
  
"Thought as much." Miroku sighed as his friend walked away and further in his room.  
  
He was staring at his bed. He had noticed something wrong when Miroku was talking and his heart had yet to start up again. He was walking toward it in abject terror and could form no coherent thoughts other than _'Oh shit…'_ Miroku was still talking as he stumbled and caught himself on the mattress, fisting the covers until his knuckles turned white. "You're not going to like this, Inuyasha, but hear me out. I'm not saying it to be negative on the girl, but you really don't know anything about her. You don't know who else she may have been with. You may need to get tested-I don't care what kind of person you think this girl is, it's stupid to risk your health like that."  
  
"I don't think that's a problem…" Inuyasha said and Miroku gapped at him. It wasn't like him to be this careless. It wasn't like him to be this pale either.   
  
"How the hell can you be sure?!" He screamed and Inuyasha gestured for him to come nearer. He was holding the sheets and hadn't looked away from him through his entire lecture. Curiosity won out as Miroku came to his friend's side. "What is--" He stopped short when he saw what his friend was staring at. His mouth formed a perfect 'O.' There was a deep red blood spot smack in the middle of the bed.  
  
"Maybe it's not what we think." Miroku offered. "Maybe it's…"  
  
"No." Inuyasha interrupted him and clenched his eyes shut to hold in the guilt. He was reliving a private memory of the night before. She had been moaning, panting his name, begging him with whimpers to continue as he had covered every bare inch of her skin with his lips' caresses. He could still remember how the skin of her stomach had tasted when it was covered with thin sweat. Her entire body had been soft and supple and he remembered how her muscles would dance under her skin when he ran his fingers down her sides. There had been one spot, in the dip of her back, where when he touched it to pull her into him she had moaned violently and bucked her hips against him in desperation. Her passion at that touch had driven him crazy and he hadn't been able to hold himself back any longer. He remembered it; when he entered her the first time, there was a resistance. He hadn't even considered it in his longing to be inside her and he just pushed through it in desperate need to remove any obstacle. She had screamed. He realized now that it had been of pain--he had hurt her.   
  
"No, it's exactly what I think." He clenched the sheets in his fist. She had been a virgin. It all clicked: her scream, the blood on his bed, the red spots in the bathroom-- She must have woken up alone and found the blood and tried to clean herself. She must have been so afraid. _'What have I done?'_ he thought angrily.  
  
Miroku watched him completely dumbfounded. Now he was completely at a loss. _'Why did she do it?' _he wondered, _'One night stand… gone in the morning…not something that screams out "virgin." What does it mean? Could they really… no way. People don't fall in love like that in real life, especially not Inuyasha. This isn't some fairy tale.' _He shook his head in surprise at his own cynicism. He was supposed to be the romantic of the friendship, but things weren't really going with the natural order of the universe lately. "So… what are you going to do?"  
  
"I don't know." If the universe wanted to strike him down dead right then he wouldn't have complained.  
  
Miroku looked back at the clock; it was getting late. If he didn't do something soon they were going to have a very angry woman in a gown to deal with as well and he didn't like to picture the scene. "Inuyasha…" he said carefully, "The ceremony is supposed to start in a little more than two hours. What… will you do… about Kikyo?"  
  
_'Kikyo…' _he thought miserably. This was all so unfair to her.   
  
He was silent so long Miroku didn't think he was going to answer and he didn't want to ask again too soon. Enough was going on in his friend's head, and he didn't need someone else's nagging adding to it. But still, the clock was ticking. Maybe he would try to go find the girl-not an easy task considering that her last name was not among that vast knowledge he thought he had of her. It definitely would not be fun asking every person in the building if they had seen a girl sneaking out and if they happened to catch which direction she went. _They _would have one hell of a time, but maybe _they _could do it.   
  
Hey! He couldn't let his best friend do this alone, now could he?  
  
"I'm going to tell her." Inuyasha said quietly and snapped Miroku out of his search plans. "I'll tell Kikyo the truth… the whole truth. She deserves that much." Miroku patted his pocket to feel the rings; maybe they could get the money back or something because it didn't look like there was going to be a wedding this afternoon. "She won't let go…" Inuyasha continued and shook his head, answering Miroku's thoughts without realizing it, "but she needs to know everything. That way I can know I never lied to her."  
  
"She'll…" Miroku stuttered, "You think she'll still want to marry you?"  
  
"I'll find out, I guess." He said. "If she does, I will honor her wishes, but she at least has to know."  
  
"I--" Miroku started. No, he wouldn't argue. He didn't even know what he would protest against, but something felt wrong. It was Inuyasha's decision, but he had been starting to look forward to the challenge of searching the entire city for one girl that had vanished into thin air. "You should get cleaned up and changed then. I--" he looked to the bed again, "I'll get things cleaned up here and call a cab."  
  
Inuyasha nodded and took the garment bag with his tuxedo with him into the bathroom. Miroku stripped the sheets from the bed.  
  
"What a mess." He whispered not thinking about the sheets. _'That poor girl…I wonder if she's all alone.' _He thought.  
  
"Hey!" he called out suddenly, "Inuyasha?"  
  
"Yeah?" Came the response from the bathroom.  
  
"Do you think you could pay for the cab?" Miroku asked. "I…um… I lost my wallet last night."  
  
He wasn't sure, but Miroku thought he heard a smothered, snorting laugh from behind the door.  
  
**1:30 PM**  
  
He stepped into the main room freshly showered and wearing the new tuxedo pants and shirt. Why bother with the tie and bothersome little knick-knacks until he made it to the pavilion. His bed was already stripped, he noticed. Miroku hadn't wasted any time, but had he taken the sheets to be washed or simply thrown them away? Did he think that would make it have never happened?   
  
What in the world was he going to do? He collapsed miserably on his bare mattress and held his head in his hands. Miroku had to be right, he knew it. He just wasn't thinking rationally. It was perfectly common to be nervous about getting married so it was perfectly logical that he could just invent these agonizing mixed emotions to that girl. He wouldn't possibly fall in love with someone he just met when he was marrying Kikyo! It was all in his head--it just had to be.  
  
He flopped on his back with his knees hanging off the side and looked at the ceiling. This was insane! He would never find anybody better than Kikyo, and that was obvious. She had been with him for as long as he could remember and she was good to him, and was about as perfect as a woman as anyone could hope to find. And besides, he could already list a dozen things about that girl that would drive him insane after one day. She's stubborn, she says the first thing that comes into her head without thinking about it first, she wandered around at night alone without thinking what might happen, she was fidgety, she leaves water on the bathroom counter, she leaves lights on when she's not in a room, she hums in her sleep, and she runs away in the middle of the night without even bothering to wake him up! Why was he thinking about this so much! It shouldn't be a hard choice.  
  
_'Alright! That's all there is to it.' _He thought and sat upright again. He put his hands on his calves and pushed himself up to stand, but as he looked down, he caught a faint violet glimmer under the bed. He went to his knees and grabbed at it. Opening his fist slowly, he found he clutched the jewel from her necklace. _'Oh no…'_ he thought. It had been so precious to her--the last gift from her father. His heart softened with such extreme guilt. He even took that from her. It had been the symbol to her of all love should be.  
  
He looked at the jewel and smiled slightly. It was funny, now. All those things seriously would drive him nuts, and a lot of them already did, but somehow they didn't really seem that bad. They actually seemed kind of funny now, but maybe that was because they were coming from her. He rolled it around in his palm watching how the light played with it. He remembered her words when she had played with it in a similar fashion. _'It's like you love even those imperfections because they belong to the one you love and they really do become perfect to you.'_  
  
He put the jewel in his pocket and grabbed his jacket. _'Ridiculous.'_ He thought as he locked the door behind him  
  
**2:00 PM**  
  
"Hi, I need to check in." Kagome said politely to the clerk behind a counter.  
  
"What's the name Miss?"  
  
"Higurashi," She replied and wiped her cheek, "Kagome."  
  
"Yes…" the clerk began noticing the customer's actions. The girl's eyes were blood shot and her cheeks swollen and red. "Here you are." She said typing quickly. "Everything is in order Miss Higurashi. I have you down for a one-way flight to Los Angeles, California. Is that correct?" Kagome nodded. "Your flight is currently on time and will be departing in about an hour. Do you have anything you would like to check?"  
  
Kagome nodded again meekly and placed a bulging yellow bag on the baggage stand. It wasn't much for luggage, but it had proved itself on many trips. She didn't want to bring to much baggage with her while starting out her new life, and her family would send her little things she needed in the future.   
  
The clerk handed her standard agreement papers and she answered all the predictable questions. No, she didn't have any weapons. No, she didn't have any concealed narcotics. Yes, she understood that her bag was subject to being searched should there be any question of it's contents and might be subjected to a random search if selected, like she would actually say no to this question even if there was something illegal there. No, the bag had not been out of her possession since she packed it. No, she didn't have anything to hide, especially not that she had just snuck out of a man's apartment and frantically searched for her motel so she could grab her stupid bag from her unused room that cost a small fortune. A tear splashed on the forms and she wiped her eyes bitterly.  
  
"Are you alright, Miss?" the clerk asked with gentle concern and she nodded quickly before handing back the forms. "Are you leaving home for the first time?"  
  
That would do. "Yes." Kagome forced a smile.  
  
"It's always hard the first time." She offered.  
  
_'You have no idea.'_ Kagome thought as she thanked the lady headed towards the gate.  
  
**2:05 PM**  
  
Inuyasha stood in checked his reflection in his dressing area, still working up his nerve. A man learns a healthy amount of respect and fear of a woman during the course of his life, and when it came to a woman's wedding day, if a man is to say or do anything to upset the balance of the day, he has to accept the fact that he just might end up dead. Considering this, he had decided he would rather face Kikyo fully dressed and not as a mess. She would be more open to him if she were not immediately caught off guard by his state of dress. Now that that excuse no longer worked, he considered if maybe a friendly phone call wouldn't work better, perhaps from Fiji.  
  
_'Get a hold of yourself you fucking coward!' _he snapped at himself. There was no way he could put this off any longer. He owed her the truth and there was no way he would dishonor her in such a way. He held his breath and opened the door into the entry hall. Her dressing room was just on the opposite side. _'Just please no shrieking bridesmaids?' _he silently pleaded with the universe and he pushed the door open and slid into the room.  
  
Kikyo was alone ands she looked absolutely perfect. Beautiful and brilliant: she was a talented beginning doctor who was already making her path to the top. She was compassionate to those less fortunate, good with children, always squeezed toothpaste from the bottom of the tube, and was one of those women who could eat whatever she wanted and never gain an ounce, but still ate only healthy foods for their nutritional value. She really was one of those perfect women, and he had come to tell her he had slept with someone else the night before he was supposed to marry her and might possibly be in love with the girl. Wonderful.  
  
"You are not supposed to be in here." She said without turning, but he caught her playful smile in the mirror.  
  
"Hi…" he said with a soft smile.  
  
"Hi." She turned and smiled back to him, like any woman who was about to get married would smile. _'I am pond scum.' _ He thought and couldn't bring himself to look in her eyes.   
  
"Inuyasha?" She asked… in _that_ voice. That 'I don't like that look in your eyes, but I'm going to try to sound reassuring just in case it's not the something bad I think it is, but let's face it… it probably is and I'm going to kill this bastard if he's done anything to screw this day up' voice.  
  
"Kikyo," he walked to her and took both her hands in his own. "I have something I have to tell you." He saw the fear immediately flush over her face over words she knew could never be a good thing.  
  
"Is..." her hands were shaking in his. "Is there something wrong?" and he gave a mute nod. She felt her heart jump up to her throat.  
  
"Last night," he held her hands firmer and noted how she paled. "I rescued a girl from an attack." Kikyo nodded dumbly afraid of where she expected this to lead. "Kikyo, I'm so sorry to do this to you now." He closed his eyes so he didn't have to see the hurt in her. "I was unfaithful." She gripped his hands tightly and when he opened his eyes he saw tears beginning to fall from her lashes. He would have liked it so much better if she would just kill him and not cry. "Kikyo, I couldn't let you not know." He whispered to her and couldn't bear looking her in the eyes.  
  
"Inuyasha," she forced her voice to stay steady, "I can't hide how hurt I am, but this is one night. I've heard how men are especially confused before they are to be married and I've heard many stories of what can go on at a bachelor party. But, I want to be with you, Inuyasha. I still want to be with you, and I can forgive this one night."  
  
"Kikyo," he his hold became firmer still and he dropped to his knees in front of her. "It may be more than that."  
  
She gave a shuddering gasp. This may be even worse than she had imagined. "Are… are you in love with this girl, Inuyasha?"  
  
"I don't know." He said for the second time that day.  
  
"So, are you telling me you are calling off the wedding?" tears were splashing on his hands.  
  
"That is up to you, Kikyo." He said gently. "If you still want this, knowing the truth, I will honor my promise and be your husband. But I couldn't let you not know the truth."  
  
"Inuyasha?" she said softly and he looked up into her eyes. "You know I want to be with you…and I can't believe you when you say your feelings for this girl. This one girl, after one night, how would she be more precious to you than me? How could se mean more to you than I who have loved you for so long. I will be good to you, Inuyasha. We will have a good life together, you and I, and raise a family. I'll make you happy, and I'll try every day to make you so. She can't mean more to you than all of that. We have already had so much of our lives together-I won't let one night take away our future. My love is real, Inuyasha, and I'll show you ever day that you are mistaken about this girl."  
  
"Alright, Kikyo." He nodded and pushed himself to his feet. "If this is what you want."  
  
"Yes." She whispered still holding on to his hands. "Yes, this is what I want."  
  
**2:50 PM**  
  
"Passengers, this is Flight 821 non-stop to Los Angeles, California." The pilot announced over the intercom. "We will be taking off shortly so please turn off any electronic devices and make sure your safety belts are securely fastened. In the case of an emergency…" he rattled off the standard procedures and Kagome looked out her window over the wing listening to the engines warm up.  
  
_'I'm not running away.'_  
  
The plane was heading towards the runway. Soon it would be picking up speed and lifting off the ground, leaving her life and home in the past and ten thousand feet below. It was a brand new day and she had a brand new kind of pain pulsing all through her lower body.  
  
Kagome shifted in her seat and couldn't seem to get comfortable. She was so sore she wondered how she would be able to survive the long flight over seas. She sighed and asked a flight attendant for a glass of water and dug in her purse for a small bottle of aspirin thinking it might dull the pain enough so she could sit still. She found the pink round container hidden in the side pocket and remembered a much more important pill she hadn't yet taken that day. She opened the birth control discretely inside her purse and took out that day's medication. _'To think I started this last year just to regulate and get clearer skin.' _She sighed at the thought. Pill or no pill, she would still make an appointment with a doctor as soon as she got into her apartment.  
  
The flight attendant handed her the glass of water as she passed with a beverage cart and Kagome thanked her and washed down her pill. _'Why did I do it?' _She held in a sob. _'I'm a good girl. I've never done anything like that. Why?' _ Since she woke up with a pair of arms wrapped around her naked body, she had loathed herself. The only thing that had kept her from crumbling into a sobbing mess as she tried to clean herself, find her clothes and dress, and escape had been the fear of the man waking. She just hadn't been able to face him.  
  
_'I'm not running away.' _She thought. After all, there was no way she would have been able to stay. What would she have said if he had woken up to find her in his bed? He would have probably been furious with her. He would have screamed and called her a dirty little tramp, which she felt no better than in her own heart. He was supposed to get married; he must have just been apprehensive and having the second thoughts that everyone is supposed to have. He had just saved her, that must have just made her too weak willed to resist him.  
  
_'I'm not running away.'_ She had worked hard for this job and was about to start a whole new life. Was she just supposed to blow off the opportunity of a life time and miss her flight to another country? She couldn't give up her entire future. She didn't want him to have to give up his. What if he hadn't been angry? What if they had woken up wrapped in each others arms and discovered that they miraculously were in love. They could throw away all their plans and dreams to spend their days passionately living for each other and testing their love against the coldness of the world like an old romance novel. Yeah right. That kind of thing just doesn't happen! Leaving quietly had been the best thing to do in the situation.  
  
"I'm not running away." She whispered and let a tear fall in her lap. It had been a mistake and staying would have just screwed up everyone's life. She reached to her collar unconsciously but something was missing. Now aware of her hand and what she was doing, she searched her neck for the precious chain that supported the jewel. _'Oh no!'_ She checked in her lap, in her shirt, the floor near her feet and under her chair. It was gone. She had lost her father's necklace.  
  
_'Oh please no!'_ She covered her mouth to try to hold in the body shaking sobs and fell forward miserably to support herself by elbows on her lap. She was aware that the other occupants of the flight were giving her uncomfortable stares, but she didn't care about them. She had just lost the two most important things a young girl could have in one day; she didn't care about how any one looked at her. _'I really am a good girl…'_  
  
**3:00 PM**  
  
Every person in the church came to their feet in unison with the musical introduction announcing the bride. The people all craned their heads around to catch a glimpse of the beautiful young woman in all her finery, except a tall man with long silver hair. _ 'Probably just watching to make sure I don't do something stupid like try to run away.'_ Inuyasha thought grimly as he found his brother's eyes locked on him.   
  
"You're sure about this?" a whisper so soft only he could make it out came from his shoulder.   
  
"Yes, Miroku." He whispered in return just before Kikyo took her place at his side and handed her bouquet off to a bridesmaid. The crowd reseated, again in almost perfect unison, and had he been in a lighter mood, Inuyasha would have found it funny.  
  
The priest smiled warmly at them and spoke to the congregation. "We are gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony…" Inuyasha wasn't following his words. The only thing he knew he should concentrate on was acting with dignity and honoring Kikyo as he promised he would. He had to forget the girl and everything he had thought or felt the previous night. It was just one night and he had to accept the fact that it couldn't have been real, but just the thought made him feel like his entire body was hollow and lifeless.  
  
"If anyone here has any reason as to why these two should not be wed, let him speak now, or forever hold his peace."   
  
_'He doesn't love her.'_ Miroku was watching Inuyasha for any indication-anything that would tell him he should stop this whole thing, but his friend's expression never changed and never gave any indication of what was going on in his head. _'He just doesn't love her.'_ He was right there. It wouldn't be hard to just raise his hand and state that simple fact, but he looked at her. She would be good to him, and Miroku knew that. She just needed the chance and she would be as good a wife to him as a man could ask. She just needed the chance, and he might even grow to love her as much-at least he might have. Could he really destroy the girl's dreams and Inuyasha's honor because his best friend_ might _be in love with some girl they couldn't find? If it were him in Inuyasha's place, he'd want it done, but could he gamble other people's lives on a fantasy and his beliefs on love?  
  
_'No.'_  
  
"Please repeat after me, and place the ring on his hand." The priest instructed.  
  
"I, Kikyo," he paused and she recited.  
  
"Promise to love, honor, and cherish thee, Inuyasha..."  
  
She said the words.  
  
"To keep thee and comfort thee…"  
  
He knew she meant the words.  
  
"In sickness and in health…"  
  
She slid the ring onto his finger.  
  
"For the rest of my days."  
  
She smiled up at him. It was done.  
  
"Inuyasha," the priest began, "Please repeat after…"  
  
"I'd like to say my own vows." Inuyasha interrupted. "Please." There was a faint murmur though the church. Kikyo, before him, looked into his eyes with confusion and perhaps a little fear. He knew Miroku at his side was staring as well.  
  
"Very… Very well then," said the bewildered priest.  
  
"Kikyo," he began, "For as long as I can remember, I've always realized you were the best thing I would ever have. I promise to honor you and be faithful to you every day of our marriage. I will always protect you and be a good husband to you as you have always been good to me."  
  
_'But I do not love you.'_ He thought as he slipped the ring on her finger. _'Please forgive me.' _He nodded to the priest quickly to show he was finished.   
  
"By the power vested in me, I announce thee Man and Wife." The old man said to the congregation. "You may kiss the bride."  
  
Inuyasha lifted the veil and closed his eyes. _'I'm sorry.'_ He thought and kissed his wife.  
  
  
  


_ ***  
  
And the second hardest thing I'll ever do  
is telling her about you   
  
***  
  
_

  
  
  
  
**Next Chapter:** Don't Close Your Eyes  
(They are "reunited" next chapter and some art work)  
  



	3. Don't Close Your Eyes

**Author's Notes:** And wooo! It's a long one. But it's good stuff… promise. **Read these people!**  
  
Don't really know why this chapter was taking me longer. Much less introspective and much more fate sucks, I guess. I wanted to address some things… this is the self-critical story coming out because I don't really remember people voicing these concerns in feedback. Mainly the "loveless marriage" - This is touchy because I'm trying to demonstrate that different kinds of love make it all the more confusing when dealing with the heart. Inuyasha isn't "in love" with Kikyo in the sense that he never felt the same passion with her as he discovered quite by accident. He cares for her deeply in friendship and protectiveness, such as he would never want to hurt her and wants to protect her. (This will be demonstrated more in future chapters, mainly #5.) In fact, had the night with Kagome, not happened, he would not have been aware of this lack in passion and therefore may have "come to love her" or never realize the difference. Also, it was a point in the series that Kikyo and Inuyasha weren't truly in love as their trust was so easily broken. Trust will also be a big issue. Also, was it not Kikyo who suggested first that Inuyasha become human so that they could live together and then he decides he could be happy spending his life with her? If that doesn't sound like Kikyo doing the proposal, I'll go back and scrap the whole story.  
  
Love is such a narrow term…  
  
**The low down:** This is a longer than average chapter, but a lot of stuff happens. Yes, they are going to meet again in this chapter. Also, Kagome has a guilty pleasure involving lemony goodness, and I bet you'll be surprised. Also, the song "Don't Close Your Eyes" is another song to be an inspiration and was a main focus in this chapter. It is by songwriter and country legend, Keith Whitley.   
  
  
  
** ***  
  
  
  
Love and Marriage  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Don't Close Your Eyes  
  
  
  
** "By the power vested in me, I announce thee Man and Wife." The old man said to the congregation. "You may kiss the bride."  
  
Inuyasha lifted the veil and closed his eyes. _'I'm sorry.'_ He thought and kissed his wife.  
  
** ***  
  
8:00 AM**   
  
As far as Inuyasha was concerned, Alexander Gram Bell could rot in hell.  
  
Leave it to Sesshomaru to have a message requesting a meeting on an _urgent_ matter waiting at his offices the minute a man returns from his honeymoon. In fact, this matter was so damn _urgent_ that he made sure his office saw fit to call his home the Monday of his return when he had decided he just would rather sleep. He was the boss, after all, he was entitled to some power abuse, but as always, there is always a higher power and Sesshomaru saw fit that this role would fall to him in every situation. Seriously, after four weeks of trampling around Europe and way too many hours stuffed in a jet, a man is tired. But of course, a powerful and fearsome man of business such as his brother was cruelly insensitive to the woes of jet lag.  
  
He growled into his pillow and flung an arm towards the phone on the bedside table to his right. He fumbled about on the table to find the insistent source of ringing, toppling and breaking a lamp in the process.  
  
"Go' way…" he growled into the phone clicked off the line and dropped the cordless hell spawn on the floor.  
  
A few moments later, the ringing started over again and he cursed into his pillow. _'I hate technology.'_ He thought and reached down and grabbed it again. "What?" He snapped.  
  
"Good morning, sir." Came a cheerful greeting, "Your brother insisted you be reminded of your scheduled meeting with him this morning." Scheduled, Ha! The jerk had left a message on his voice mail _informing_ him that he would be attending this little meeting as soon as he returned.  
  
"Tell Sesshomaru to screw himself." Inuyasha said. "Meeting's off."  
  
"Sir," the secretary didn't seem phased, "He is quite insistent to meet with you as soon as possible."  
  
"Look, how many times do you need to hear this? I'm not coming in today." He was quickly losing the remainder of his patience.  
  
"He'll see you at nine, sir. Goodbye." And she clicked off the line. Fine, let Sesshomaru set up his little meeting for nine. He'd just be sitting alone in his office for a while. Inuyasha chuckled lightly imagining the annoyance on big brother's face and sunk back into his pillow. He glanced at Kikyo, who had managed to stay asleep through all that, and was facing him with a peaceful smile. It had only been a month since their vows and now they were about to settle into their roles of husband and wife.  
  
Their honeymoon had been a wonderful trip, he admitted: vineyards in the French countryside, the fountains of Rome, the beauty of Spain, the history of Germany, and the elegance of Britain, despite all that sentimentality, he had actually found it an interesting month. Must have been the food.  
  
But through the month, he carried a horrible shame. He knew she tried very hard to make the trip as romantic as possible, and she must have been so insecure with knowledge of his infidelity to her. He had sworn to be true to her and he would stick to that, but his heart was wracked with guilt as he discovered in that first night, when passion grew, he found himself looking into the eyes of a woman who was not his wife, but the one that was lost to him forever. And every night after was the same, so he would simply close his eyes and be back to that first night with Kagome. It would pass in time, he told himself every morning, but so far, it had yet to change. When they made love, he would see her in the other's place, and he would close his eyes and remember.  
  
In this, he had found the passion he had never yet been able to give to Kikyo, and she took it as evidence that his emotions for her truly were as deep as she hoped they were. But in his guilt of that passion, Inuyasha knew he always had to keep close control over himself in their love making and never surrender completely to the passion her false images stirred in him. He would never risk speaking her name while he lay with the woman he had sworn faithfulness. But was this an oath already broken, he would wonder sadly and not be able to think of an answer. He brushed a lock of hair from her sleeping eyes and rolled his fingers down her cheek gently. He would try.  
  
He settled back into a comfortable position and shut his eyes, waiting for sleep to come again. Instead, the phone rang.  
  
"What?!" he barked into the receiver.   
  
"Sir, I'm just calling to remind you that your appointment with your brother is in forty-five minutes."  
  
He sighed. "Fine." He said, and hung up the phone. What was the point? If he tried to go back to sleep, they would just keep calling him back every fifteen minutes anyway so he may as well save himself the headache of an irritated Sesshomaru.  
  
**7:00 PM**  
  
_'Damn it, Miroku…'_ Inuyasha thought bitterly as he looked out over the city, _'What's keeping you.'_  
  
His meeting with Sesshomaru had begun much as he expected: he had given the poor secretary a heart attack for fear of her job as he barged through the offices and refused her pleas to inform her boss of his arrival, Sesshomaru had given him that same condescending smirk as if he weren't worth the patience bestowed upon him, and he had plopped down in the office and stuffed his feet on Sesshomaru's desk as an added insult-normal.   
  
But then things got weird. Sesshomaru got straight to business instead of some lengthy lecture of his short-comings; their father had created a business in Los Angeles, California and Inuyasha was expected to take responsibility of it. He had enough experience in the business world, but it so happened that this was out of his realm of knowledge, and further trouble, he was expected to move from Tokyo within the month. However, it wasn't his brother's pushing that made him accept the offer-the business had been made for the sake of his mother years ago when she first fell in love with his father. Naturally Sesshomaru would be more than anxious to get rid of it.  
  
A glass appeared before him on the railing and he looked up to see Miroku standing next to him. "Don't you knock?"  
  
"Waste of time." Miroku said and attended to his glass.  
  
"Also don't bother asking before getting reacquainted with my bar?"  
  
"You looked like you needed a drink and who am I to make you drink alone, huh?" He smiled, "What kind of friend would I be?"  
  
They didn't say much for a while but just watched the red in the sky deepen and the sun sink behind the city skyline.  
  
"Been a while." Inuyasha said after a while.  
  
"A month," Miroku nodded, "but nothing strange, considering you were on a honeymoon and all. I doubt, however, you took the trouble to call my office just because you missed my company, though."  
  
"Humph." He gave noncommittally and Miroku rolled his eyes. Inuyasha kept quiet long enough that he began wondering if he would ever learn why it was so important his friend meet with him. "Sesshomaru demanded a meeting this morning."  
  
"I've been handed one of Dad's firms in the states. A real-estate firm he bought when he first met my mother. I'll be moving there within the month to take control."   
  
Miroku nodded understanding finally. Business opinion -- that made sense, especially since this was his area of law and he couldn't recall Inuyasha ever having expressed an interest in his work other than when he handled disputes between Inuyasha and the rest of his apartment complex over the rules of his lease. "So you need to know about the way the business works?" He guessed, having worked with companies all over Tokyo in similar situations.  
  
"No." Inuyasha said bluntly. "I need a partner."  
  
"I see." Miroku said in surprise. This was stranger than usual, but still, he had just been offered a partnership when he would probably be looking at another ten years in his current firm before that kind of advancement. But why was his friend so willing to up and leave? "What did Kikyo say?"  
  
"So, what's in Japan you want to get away from?" Miroku sipped his drink. "Old memory, perhaps?" Yeah, he knew he wasn't going to get a response for that. He just hoped he didn't get hit. As it happened, someone must have been looking out for him, because Inuyasha just looked out over the city and set his glass on the balcony rail.  
  
"That she'll support the move." He sighed, "She's probably already got the transfers in order; she's got enough recommendations from every respected surgeon in Japan."  
  
"Well, if you're not going to give an answer," he said and killed off his drink, "I guess one of us has to."  
  
Inuyasha quirked an eyebrow at him. "And?"  
  
"You've got a deal." Miroku said and set his glass down heavily on the railing.  
  
**12:00 PM**  
  
It had been five years since Kagome had first come to California to work under a Mr. F.D. Myoga as a public relations consultant, and in the time, she had become quite skilled in her profession. Her client would be arriving shortly and she smoothed her jacket for the millionth time. She had met with clients so many times before, yet she always was scared just before and wondered if she would make the right impression. So Kagome sat patiently in a cozy corner café and sipped from a glass of water.   
  
A young woman with long black hair came rushing into the restaurant looking flustered and spilling an armful of papers. She looked around and noticed Kagome sitting and suddenly seemed afraid at her lack of grace. Kagome reasoned this must be her potential client and smiled; the girl was just as worried about first impressions as she. The woman quickly came to the table and Kagome stood to greet her.  
  
"Hello." She held out her hand. "I'm Kagome Higurashi. I take it you're the young lady I'm supposed to meet?"  
  
"Yes, I'm Sango." The woman shook her hand. "I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, Ms Higurashi, but I've been looking for a new place to live and…"  
  
"Don't worry about it." Kagome said sweetly; she liked Sango already. "I hear you want to get your own business started."  
  
Sango nodded in agreement as a waiter approached the table and asked for their drink orders. "Just water please." Sango said quickly and tried to get her documents back in order. Kagome could see she was nervous and trying to follow all the rules of proper lunch meeting etiquette.   
  
_'She must care a lot about this.'_ Kagome thought and became aware of the waiter looking to her expectantly. "Yes, I'd like an iced tea." Kagome said, "Oh! And could I have some extra lemon slices, please?" The waiter nodded and left them to get their drinks. Kagome smiled at her brilliant plan. Now that she was in another country and far away from the motherly lectures, she could let her guilty little pleasure exist without worry.  
  
Kagome, ever since she had been a child, had always had an outlawed desire for lemons, much to the wonder of her family. How could such a sweet little girl have such a passion for sour fruit? Now many children her aged had enjoyed the scrunched faces they would get from sucking the juice, but Kagome not quite the same, liked to bite into the slices. However, her mother would always quickly put a stop to this by saying she was stripping the enamel from her teeth every time she bit into a lemon. If she continued this act, her teeth would be as mushy as vanilla pudding before she was an adult.  
  
Well she was an adult now and Mommy was no where around. She could turn her teeth to mush if she wanted to and that's exactly what she was going to do!   
  
"So what kind of business did you want help starting, Sango?" Kagome said to the other woman with a smile that seemed just a little too happy for the situation.  
  
"Actually," Sango seemed to be blushing slightly, "I want to open my own restaurant. They said you would be the best person to talk to."  
  
_'Wonder why…'_ Kagome thought, not one to let that comment go to her head… too much. She smiled sweetly and said "I'll certainly do my best. What kind of restaurant?"  
  
"My family is from Japan," Sango said not catching the sparkle in the other woman's eyes, "I actually want the atmosphere to be like the ancient culture-with the natural beauty and majestic history."  
  
"A trip back in time…"Kagome nodded, half talking to herself, "to Sengoku Jidai."   
  
"Yes…" Sango said in awe. "That's actually the name I had chosen. How did you…"  
  
"I think I know why they told you to see me." Kagome interrupted and blushed. "I came here from Tokyo a few years ago and I've been a little homesick lately. I think my boss was looking out for me with this assignment."  
  
"I'm glad he was." Sango smiled at her.  
  
"So am I." Kagome grinned and quickly calculated everything she would need to get done and made the beginnings of a time frame. "Ok, if this is going to be as brilliant as you want it to be, I may have to pull in help from other business sources. I'll need you working directly with me most of the time."  
  
"That…that would be wonderful." Sango said happily. She was liking Kagome more and more every minute. "Kagome, thank you, for helping me. This has been my dream for so long."  
  
"Just think of me as your little personal genie." Kagome winked. "If we've got a deal, I can get started making your wish come true."  
  
"We've got a deal." Sango grinned.  
  
"Wonderful!" Kagome smiled and in celebration of her new project, popped a lemon wedge in her mouth. Sango gave her a very confused stare.  
  
"Kagome!" she said with a note of disapproval. "Don't do that! You shouldn't bite down into a lemon."  
  
"Huh?!" Kagome muttered out with lemon in her mouth and eyes wide. There was absolutely no way that…  
  
"It will take the enamel off your teeth." Sango said sternly.  
  
Why is it that a mother can still find a way to nag at you even when you're an ocean away?   
  
Kagome admitted defeat and took the lemon wedge from her mouth. Some powers in the universe just weren't meant to be crossed, but that didn't mean she couldn't be a little freaked out by her mother's apparent possession of this woman and pout about her lose.  
  
"You'd be sorry if your teeth turned to mush before you're forty." Sango said and Kagome wondered if she had enough experience from growing up in a shrine to perform an exorcism. Probably not, so she just sighed in defeat and guessed she would just have to suffer through a lemon-less life with perfectly hard teeth.   
  
**12:00 PM**  
  
Within a week, Kagome had called every contact she had in the city and was thoroughly convinced, that she and Sango could not take on this endeavor alone. There was just too much legal, too much financial, and too much too much. The way she saw it, they needed a backer and the most promising lead would be the support of a corporate firm, and she set up a meeting and set all their hopes. She and Sango would be pitching the deal to the partner in Western Lands Incorporated, and real-estate attorney, Miroku Houshi.   
  
"Well," Miroku smiled suavely and rubbed his chin, "there is a lot to go into a deal like this. I'll have to be involved from the ground up, what with zoning laws, insurance liabilities, building regulations, but considering that I would be with such charming co-workers, I don't think that will be any problem."   
  
"Wonderful!" Kagome beamed while Sango looked slightly less pleased with circumstances. She looked ready to murder actually and was clutching her salad fork. "Sango? Is something the matter?"  
  
"Is there something I can get for you my dear?" Miroku asked gently and looked at her with kindness and genuine concern.  
  
"Actually…" Sango ground out, "There is. Do you think you can get your hand off my thigh?" Yep, definitely ready to kill.  
  
"Oh!" He blushed and nodded quickly and shifted. "Yes of course. I'm terribly sorry."  
  
Sango's expression didn't change in the least. "No," she hissed, "not there." And she stabbed down with the fork.   
  
Miroku turned completely purple trying to hold in the scream and Kagome jumped to her feel and pulled Sango away from the table. She was practically dragging the aggrieved woman along on the ground in their haste to get out of sight in the main waiting area.  
  
"What do you think you are doing?" Kagome cried. "We just get the deal and you stab him with a salad fork?!"  
  
"That slime-sucking pervert hasn't stopped groping me since he met us!" Sango yelled in defense. "Ok, so it wasn't the best way to do business, but I wasn't thinking about that when he had his hand creeping up my thigh."  
  
"You're right," Kagome said sternly, "and it probably just cost us building your restaurant." Sango froze and was completely crestfallen, realizing her impetuousness had likely just cost her dream. She might have actually started crying right there until Kagome gently took her hand in both of her own. "But that jerk deserved it and if getting a deal means sacrificing your integrity, then it's not worth it. We'll just find another real-estate firm." Sango looked her in the eyes and gave a gentle smile. "It'll be all right, Sango." Kagome said matching the smile. "I promise you, I'll make it all right."  
  
"I'm sorry." Sango said. "It's not like it's the first time I've had an uninvited hand on my butt, but in the past, I've always just dealt with it in my own way."  
  
"Does your way usually involve stitches?" Kagome grinned.  
  
"Oh, he'll regain use of that hand." She smiled with grim satisfaction.  
  
"True." Kagome nodded with a wink. "He may end up with a hole in it though."  
  
"Well it's not like a hole in his hand would kill him or anything." They both were laughing now. They turned when they heard someone cough gently behind them and saw Miroku holding his injured hand in some tissue and amazingly smiling at them. This didn't click, Kagome noted and looked at him with skepticism.   
  
"Ladies," he began still with that unnerving and out of place smile, "I give you my complete and sincere apologies for my behavior."  
  
Both the women's eyes widened and their minds formed the collective thought, _'Huh?!'_  
  
"I assure you there will be no further improprieties from me in this business venture and if you do not object, I would like to return to my offices and begin work on the land acquisition." He grinned at them.  
  
"You mean…" Sango tried to speak.  
  
"You still want to take on the business?" Kagome asked.  
  
"Of course." This man was just too strange both girls decided. "You two haven't changed your minds already have you? Because of my behavior?" Kagome was in far better control of her senses than Sango at the moment and managed that incredibly difficult task of shaking her head 'no.' "Wonderful! It's settled then." He replied.  
  
"But…" Sango recovered her speech capabilities somewhat. "But, aren't you angry?"  
  
"Not at all, my dear." He smiled to her. "Now, if you lovely ladies will excuse me. I'll give you a call tomorrow morning and we can schedule another meeting. I'll have some information for you by then. Good afternoon." He walked quickly past them to the door and Sango flinched at the subtle pressure on her rear that rushed away before she could retaliate. They both just watched the door close behind him and stood there for a moment.  
  
"Kagome?" Sango broke the silence.  
  
"Yes, Sango?" she replied.  
  
"This is a mistake, isn't it?"   
  
"I really can't tell what's what at the moment." Kagome sighed.  
  
**11:30 AM**  
  
They were opening Sengoku Jidai in one month and the three were frantically planning the final touches. Construction was in progress, and Sango, who was still looking for a decent apartment, had left all of design matters in Kagome's capable hands. At the moment, Kagome was looking over some schematic concepts for the internal design. She was amazed. The artist had envisioned a beautiful garden scene enclosed within a building, so as soon as the customer entered, he would be like he traveled into a different world. In the center of this natural beauty, there would be a set of wooden stairs leading to a second level, designed like an ancient Japanese palace. She loved it.  
  
She glanced at the other two, who were in a state of pouting silence, and grinned. Miroku had, not quite keeping his vow of propriety, continued his flirtatious behavior, which lead to the occasional argument. But by the blush, Kagome reasoned her client may not mind his advances as much as she seemed.  
  
"Miroku, these are perfect." She handed him the drawings.  
  
"Yes," he smiled, grateful at the break in silence, "I thought so. My partner came up with them when I pitched him the project."  
  
"You're partner?" Kagome said, "I didn't think he was involved in this. I'd like to meet him."  
  
"He isn't really involving himself, or so he says." Miroku said, "He just handed the drawings one day and that's all he's had to do with it. He'll be at the opening anyway."  
  
"Oh! What time is it?" Kagome blurted out so suddenly her colleagues jumped.  
  
"Half past..." Miroku glanced at his watch and Kagome shuffled up from her spot on the carpet. "Why? Is something wrong?"   
  
"No." she groaned and stretched her tired back. "I made a meeting for lunch in thirty minutes with the V.P. of relations for Pack Media Enterprises. From what I've heard, if I play this right, he could have the opening covered by every notable magazine and journalist in the city."  
  
"You're meeting Kouga?" Miroku said obviously impressed and grinned. "You know your work, Kagome, but you've also got a lot of guts. We've been trying to get that jerk to deal for over a year and he's been nothing but stubborn."  
  
"Can't hurt to try." She shrugged and packed her papers back in her case.  
  
"Very true," he nodded, and shot her a sly smile, "and, you should prove a much more convincing to him than I would ever be. I hear rumors the man's is quite a wolf."  
  
"Good luck." Sango said and didn't quite like the tone behind Miroku's comment. "Be careful… if he's anything like…"  
  
"I'll be careful." She said knowing where that was heading. She gave the pair a cheerful smile and ducked out the door. _'One high power media exec to cover the launch and a little alone time for those two--I really am good at my job.' _She thought with a smirk.  
  
Sango sighed tiredly and stretched her arms over her head, taking a break from the financial reports.   
  
"You seem tired." Miroku said sympathetically. "You've been working so hard, Sango. It must be hard on you."  
  
"I'll live." She said tersely.  
  
"Still, you must be tense." He smiled to her. "Would you like a massage to relieve some stress?"  
  
She shot him a quick glare to keep him from crossing the office. "Not if you only want one injured hand."  
  
_'Worth a try'_ he thought and gave a sigh, and was interrupted from pursuing the matter by his office door flying open _'Now who would have the nerve to enter a business office without knocking.' _Even his thought sarcastic. "Good morning Inuyasha…"  
  
"Miroku." Sango stared at the striking man with long silver hair, piercing golden eyes, and arms crossed across his chest with a fierce expression. "I wanted to check up on your project."  
  
"Going well." Miroku smiled and handed his partner the schematics Kagome had been studying earlier. "The consultant loved your concept design of the interior, as a matter of fact. The launch will go as scheduled in a month."  
  
Inuyasha nodded curtly and flipped through the pages. He liked that his firm had taken this project. "Where is this consultant?"  
  
"She went to a meeting with Kouga hoping to get the press coverage we'll need." Miroku said.  
  
"That idiot never deals." He said with a scowl.  
  
"You don't know this girl." Miroku smirked. "She'll get the man to cooperate." That comment lead to an accounting ledger impacting with his head and a barked laugh from his partner.  
  
"Sango." She said triumphantly and held out her hand. "You're client."  
  
"Inuyasha." He shook it and turned back to the door calling, "Keep me informed, Miroku" as it shut behind him. He headed back towards his personal office, stopping momentarily at the short set of stairs to a lower level. He liked to glance down at the secretaries and assistants to make sure no one was just milling around, but today he noticed someone unfamiliar-or someone who really shouldn't have been familiar. She was talking happily to some mail boy, he could never remember the kid's name-Hobo? Hoho? But more annoying was the girl he couldn't quite place. If she would just look up so he could see all her face…  
  
_'No…'_ he thought and paled. It had only been a second, when she had brushed her hair away, but he could have sworn… _'No… It can't be!'_ She turned and was walking away. He bolted down the stairs to the lower level and pushed through the employees trying to get to her. He had to know, he just had to. He followed the woman, long black hair swinging down her back as she walked hurriedly. If these damn people would only move, he could get to her. He could know for sure. Yes! He was through! He lunged forward catching the woman by the shoulder and swung her around, startling the wits out of her and making her drop a pile of documents.  
  
"Excuse… me… Sir… Is … is there something wrong?" a frightened secretary squeaked. She was one of the new ones, not having been there a week yet. "Have I done something wrong."  
  
_'I was so sure.'_ He thought and let go of the woman. "No." he said quickly to her and started walking away. "I thought you were someone else."   
  
Kagome pushed the button to the ground floor and watched the man just walk away from the woman without so much as offering to help pick up the documents he had caused her to drop. "What a jerk…" she muttered as the doors closed.  
  
**2:00 PM**  
  
"I got Kouga!" Kagome yelled from the hall and flung the door open to Miroku's office. "I don't know what you were talking about, Miroku. He was perfectly sweet with … me… and…" she trailed off and smiled.  
  
Situation Analysis: Miroku whipping around in surprise with his hands on Sango's shoulder. Sango looking terrified and springing to the other side of the office in one bound and leaving Miroku with his arms in the air like a criminal under arrest. Sango blushing so furiously her face was almost purple.   
  
Conclusion: Matchmaker Kagome wins again.  
  
"I can come back you know…" she grinned smugly with her hands on her hips and earning a glare from Sango and a smile from the other.  
  
"Actually, I need to update my partner." Miroku said and went to the door. "I'll contact you two later tonight."  
  
Kagome nodded to him and held in the laugh. Even the slick lawyer Miroku was blushing slightly at her intrusion. Sango was still purple and pouting to the carpet. Kagome waited a few moments after Miroku was gone, just holding in the giggle, before she worked herself up to speak.  
  
"Twiterpaited?" she grinned at the flustered woman with childish glee.  
  
Sango whipped around to her with and gawked as if she had just described some apocalyptic vision.  
  
"Let's just get back to work." She grumbled.  
  
**7:45 PM**  
  
They had done it! Sango was beaming as she welcomed her guests into her dream. Every notable reporter and critic in Los Angeles was present, thanks to Pack Media Enterprises' Vice President of relations. Kagome questioned again why Miroku would have such a hard time working with him; Kouga had seemed a very nice man. That night as well, when he entered he was nothing but sweet to her. He even stayed close to her and introduced her to new contacts.  
  
"Inuyasha, this way." She heard Miroku's voice cut through the crowd and she turned to see him walking towards her through the other guests, pulling someone behind him. He pushed a considerably young man, couldn't even be thirty, with long silver hair in front of her, and a beautiful woman with long black hair came to his side and smiled at her. She found herself looking into a pair of golden eyes.  
  
Right about then, the whole world burst into a thousand pieces and scattered across the vast regions of the universe.  
  
"Inuyasha, I'd like to introduce you to Miss Kagome Higurashi. The brilliant young woman who put this whole place together." The seemingly bodiless voice of Miroku echoed in her ears. "Kagome, this is my partner."  
  
"How…" she saw her own fear in those perfect eyes, "How do you do?" She forced her voice to say.  
  
"How do you do?" Inuyasha said. _'How is this possible?' _His mind was screaming. He couldn't really be looking at the woman who had not left him alone for one night in the last five years. She was supposed to fade away, not show up in front of his eyes. She was definitely not supposed to be just as beautiful as the day he met her. But she was: present and beautiful. Her hair was swept up in a loose bun with tendrils falling down her porcelain neck and she work a silken peach dress falling gently around her curves and held up by tiny little straps. And all the while, Kikyo was standing at his side. Conclusion: This was very bad.  
  
"So you put this all together?" He said stiffly and cast a quick glance around the room. "I guess not bad for a beginning attempt. Has to be expected to someone new to your line of work."  
  
"Inuyasha!" Miroku was horrified.  
  
"I'll have you know, sir." Kagome hissed, "I have been doing this for five years, since I moved to this city."  
  
"Oh." He shrugged and looked uninterested. "I guess you're just not very good."  
  
Her heart felt like it was beating against her throat, so hard and fast in fear and anger she was afraid she would suffocate. It certainly was getting harder and harder to breath under Inuyasha's bitter animosity. "Excuse me." She breathed and pushed herself through the crowd, vaguely aware of angry voices that sounded somewhat like Miroku and Kouga. She was more focused on getting down the stairs and out the door.  
  
"Kagome!" She turned on the stairs hearing her name. Sango was running down to her and she envied the woman her coordination in a pair of spiked heals. "Where are you going?"  
  
"I just needed to get out of there." She smiled reassuringly to the woman who had become her friend.  
  
"Just because of that ass?!" Sango seethed. Correction: had become her best friend in this lonely foreign world.  
  
"No…" she said somewhat automatically, being aversive to admitting that rude words from a man would make her want to run away, "well… actually yes…" She said much more honestly.   
  
"Kagome, don't leave." Sango said and reached to hold the other woman's shoulders. "I'll have him asked to leave. I'll hoist him up on my shoulder and throw him out in the street personally if it will keep you from leaving."  
  
Kagome laughed at the mental imagery of just such an event, but shook her head 'no.' "I really do just want to head home, Sango." She said and gave her a quick hug. "Thank you though."  
  
"Can I throw him out anyway?" Sango smiled and returned the embrace.  
  
"It's your party." Kagome pulled away with a wink. She gave a smile and walked down the remaining stairs. She gave Sango one last wave as the doorman swept the heavy and beautiful doors of glass and intricate woodcarvings. Sango sighed for Kagome's sake and turned to return to her guests.  
  
"Taxi ma'am?" the doorman asked with a kind smile. She nodded to him and watched him step forward to the curb and wave out into the street. The sadness was coming upon her faster and she willed a cab to hurry and put some distance between her and that horrible experience. Why was this happening to her? She wrung her hands in front of her and wondered if she had done something bad in a past life that would make fate hate her so much to throw that man back in her life when she had done such a good job of running away from the very memory of him.  
  
"Ma'am?" the doorman's voice said. She looked up to find him waiting and holding a cab door open for her. She thanked him warmly and slipped him a tip before he tipped his cap and closed the door behind her. She settled herself and told the driver her address and spoke no more, instead just watched the sky over the crisp edges of the city buildings. She really was leaving very early and the sun had yet to set completely. The sky was still a blur of violets and reds and she imagined the sun must just be peaking over the horizon.  
  
"I changed my mind. Please sir, can you take me to the bridge?"   
  
"The harbor's a pretty far walk from your place, Miss." The cab driver said.  
  
"I know, but please and hurry?"  
  
"Sure thing." He said and turned down a different street.  
  
When Sango re-entered her party, she had every intention to having that snobby jerk thrown out on his ass. But she never had the opportunity, as by the time she got there, the snobby jerk was already gone.  
  
**8:30 PM**  
  
Inuyasha growled at the universe--same stupid, vindictive, sadistic universe that thought it necessary to make him miserable every now and then. He hadn't waited five minutes before he abandoned the party. He hadn't thought much of where to go, but he knew he had to get out of that place and far away from Kagome. How on earth had she just shown up there?! Was there some sort of cosmic plot to hurt him? He knew he had been a jerk, but he couldn't think of anything else to do. It was her own fault after all for being in a country she had no business being in. He came here to get rid of her! Why couldn't she just stick to the plan she knew nothing about?  
  
He didn't quite know where he was going, and he didn't particularly care. He just wanted to walk out his frustration and if that meant he had to make a few laps around the world, then that's what would happen. Before long, he noticed he was running out of land. In fact, it suddenly stopped all together and he looked up to find a bridge smack dab in front of him and a plaque reading:   
  


Vincent Thomas Bridge  
Spanning Los Angeles Harbor  
6,050 feet long  
  


Sounded like a good walk so he started across. He hadn't gone too far across when he saw a form of a woman sitting on the ledge, wearing a pale peach dress and hair pulled up off her shoulders. One thought shot through his mind: _'Shit!'_  
  
"Wait!" He yelled frantically and ran in a panic to her side of the bridge, narrowly dodging cars as he weaved through the lanes. "Kagome! Wait, don't jump!"  
  
She turned and glared at him with a malice that made the blood freeze in his veins. "I'm not going to kill myself, idiot!" She snapped, "But if you come any closer to me, I may throw your ass over!"  
  
"Don't scream at me, you stupid girl!" he glared right back. "What kind of idiot just goes sits 100 meters above the ocean just for the hell of it?!"  
  
"Go away if I it bothers you." She said coldly, "I'm definitely not asking you to stay."  
  
"What are you doing out here?" He asked at her side still slightly nervous at her position.  
  
"I come out here to watch the sun go down sometimes." She said. "It's good whenever I feel a little homesick."  
  
Inuyasha stood mesmerized by the coral glow of the dying sun on her skin and the silken folds of her peach dress lick against the curves of her body and flap out around her knees. His eyes followed the gently curling free tendrils dance around the face that had disappeared from his life so long ago.   
  
"My home is out there," she said quietly and smiled at the water, "just across an ocean. It's even called 'Sunset Shrine.' It fits."  
  
They didn't talk for a while as she watched the sun sink into the ocean.   
  
"I didn't think I'd ever see you again." He said softly, his eyes still drinking in her image.  
  
"Yeah, well" she tensed and shivered in the ocean wind, "I was more than a little surprised too." She wrapped an arm around herself, brushing away the goose-bumps and removing the hand closest to him, "Why… why did you have to be so cold?" She whispered. "I wouldn't have said anything… about what happened. I wouldn't have told your wife, if that's what you were worried about. I'm not that spiteful or mean, you know and I sure wouldn't have anything to gain from it, so you don't have to be afraid I'd tell your secret."  
  
"Kagome," he said quickly, "It was no secret. I told her the truth that same day."  
  
"She knows?" Kagome looked at him again with shame. "She knows it was me?"  
  
"She knows what happened." He nodded, "I didn't tell her, you were the one."  
  
They watched the waves roll in far below and couldn't find any more words for a good while. The sky was a dark graying blue and the stars peeked out in places of the overcast sky before Inuyasha muttered, "I wanted to look for you…" almost too quietly for her to catch.  
  
"What?" she whispered and sent him a sidewise glance.  
  
"That morning… when I found you gone." He said and watched the water. "I was insane trying to figure out where I could possibly find you."  
  
"You did?" She asked, completely taken aback by his words. She never expected he would have wanted her to be there when he woke and even less that he would have tried to find her afterwards.  
  
"Why… did…" he stammered slightly which confused her even more, "Why did you disappear?"  
  
"I guess I was just scared." She tore her eyes away from him. "I was just afraid, so I ran away." She looked out over the water, now an inky black color fading into the night. "I miss Japan now."  
  
"So do I." he said. "When I left, I thought I was leaving you behind. I guess I was running away from you."  
  
"I guess that's supposed to mean running away isn't the answer." She said gently.  
  
"Look, Kagome… I," he said, finding himself at a loss for words with a woman for the first time in years. She had been the cause then as well, "I… you… please, can…" How in the world did she do this to him? "Will you please just get down from there before you fall, you silly idiot?!" He snapped out, finding yelling at her much easier than sorting out the emotional stress she was causing.  
  
"Why?" She smirked at him, "Does it make you nervous?" She pulled her knees up close to her chest and spun around so her back was to the sea and laughed at his horrified shock. "I'm not even holding on, you know?"  
  
"Will you stop it?!" He was trying very hard to keep his composure. This girl was just completely insane!  
  
"Worried?" she smirked  
  
"Not really." He bluffed, "But if you fall and die, I'll probably get blamed with homicide, so just come down from there."  
  
"What if I just lean back a little bit." She waved her arms around dramatically as she tilted back. "Wow! It's so high!"  
  
"Knock it off!" He screamed and lunged forward, taking hold of her waist and pulling her sharply forward. The startled woman crashed into his chest and looked up into his eyes. They were the same striking amber that she remembered losing herself in so long ago and her heart fluttered at the memory.  
  
No way! She pushed herself away from his body and took a step back like the contact stung her. She definitely was not letting herself be anywhere near that close to a man when she wasn't at all confident in her resistance to him  
  
"Sorry." He wasn't looking at her. "Why don't I just get a cab and drop you off." She nodded quickly and wondered if she was imagining that faint blush on his cheeks. It was very possible in the dim light.  
  
**10:00 PM**  
  
Kagome concentrated on looking out the window and not on the handsome, married man riding next to her and bringing old memories back to life. The cab turned down her street and she was getting steadily closer to escaping in to her apartment.  
  
"What happens now?" she asked quietly.  
  
He gave her a surprised glance, having thought she wasn't going to speak to him. "I don't know." He admitted.  
  
"Maybe we can try to be friends?" She glanced over to him. Maybe if they could just have some sort of role in each other's lives, they could get over this tension and finally get over their past.  
  
"Yeah." He nodded. "We can try that."  
  
The cab pulled to a stop outside of her apartment building, but both were surprised to see a man sitting on the steps outside. Kouga stood as he recognized Kagome through the window and he smiled.  
  
_'What is that idiot doing here?' _Inuyasha thought, but hid any bitterness as Kagome glanced in at him and muttered a quick 'Goodbye.' He watched her walk over to Kouga, who held out a shawl and grinned at her.  
  
He muttered out his address to the driver and looked away. He didn't want to see that stupid fool's smitten face.  
  
**10:30**  
  
Inuyasha walked into his house and made his way up to the bedroom to change from the tuxedo-so much work should never be involved in putting on a suit. He hadn't expected to see his wife sitting on their bed facing the door. She had been waiting for him; for how long he wondered. Her face was red and he was hit with another realization--she had been crying.  
  


_ ***  
  
She's been good to me when things were going rough.  
How can I tell her now, good ain't good enough?  
  
***  
  
_

**Next Chapter:** What Might Have Been  
  



	4. What Might Have Been

** Author's Notes: ** Alright kiddos, you asked for fluff… here ya go. **Read these!**   
  
In case it's bugging anyone, the time thing has two functions: to serve as a break between sections and keep things clear when everything happens in one day (like the first two chapters), and on a important level because I want to address in this that people rely too much on time. In these later chapters, the time jumps can span weeks and months, on a daily/real-life level, but on a romantic level, it leaves the couple exactly where the last section left off. Why I'm bothering with this? Well… thank Shakespeare. Sonnet 116, as often read in marriage vows (Love and Marriage…see?) "Love's not time's fool…"   
  
Just a personal issue here, but notice how people judge the "quality" of a relationship based on time? Like "Hey we've been dating for four years" is so much more a stable relationship than people who may be engaged after say four months. Don't buy it! So there you go… Inu thought that time would make what he felt for Kagome go away… silly boy.  
  
**The low down:** Chapter four of eight… it's half way through people. God this took forever! And… I've acquired the new Harry Potter book… and am taking a nice little vacation down to the Rio Grande Valley for the 4th o' July for some much awaited summer reunion time with my roomie doodles. Remember kids… alcohol and fireworks are bad. Eh hehehe  
  
  
  
** ***   
Love and Marriage  
  
Chapter 4   
What Might Have Been  
  
**   
Inuyasha walked into his house and made his way up to the bedroom to change from the tuxedo-so much work should never be involved in putting on a suit. He hadn't expected to see his wife sitting on their bed facing the door. She had been waiting for him; for how long he wondered. Her face was red and he was hit with another realization-she had been crying.  
  
** ***  
  
  
10:30 PM  
  
** "Did you even notice?" she whispered, "When you chased after that woman, did you even think how it would look?"  
  
"I didn't chase after her." He hesitated in approaching her, not really wanting to face the wrath of a crying woman, especially one with every right in her anger. "I'm sorry I left suddenly though." He realized watching her suppressed movements just the injustice he had inflicted upon his wife. He ran from the formal affair, forgetting her standing at his side, and abandoned her in the presence of high society with all the appearance of chasing after another woman. Why was she not killing him again? Oh well, he had enough self preservations instincts not to ask and just accept the situation at face value.  
  
"It's her. I know." Kikyo said bitterly at her confused husband. "Damn it, Inuyasha, you didn't even try to hide it! You practically followed her out of the building. Did you two even bother to take different cabs to wherever you went?"  
  
"Kikyo, what are you talking about?" He said utterly bewildered.  
  
"That girl!" she yelled trembling, and stilled into a horrible silence. "Inuyasha, if you're having an affair, at least have the decency to tell me the truth. I at least deserve your honesty."  
  
Inuyasha dropped his hands to his sides, refusing to meet her gaze. He couldn't stand the thought of looking up to see those tears in her eyes and the streaking blotches staining her ivory cheeks. He detested the searing guilt that coursed through his body, more than a little because he hadn't been able to prevent the offence to her. 'I didn't mean to…' he thought bitterly. Really, why did all of this have to happen to him? He hadn't asked for Kagome to turn back up in his life and he certainly never asked to find her in the first place all those years ago. He never wanted to feel what she caused in him, unless he happened to grow the feelings for Kikyo. He hadn't been unfaithful to her-why so much guilt? What had he done to make him feel so ashamed?  
  
"She's the one, isn't she?" Kikyo said hotly glaring at him with tears still in her bloodshot eyes. "She's the girl."  
  
"What?" He gasped and took a step back. _ 'How on earth could she have known?' _his mind raced. "What would make you think that, Kikyo?"  
  
"Don't!" she screamed. "Don't think I'm a fool Inuyasha. When you looked at her, you were afraid. Don't think I don't know you enough to see something that apparent!"  
  
"Kikyo..." he stammered, "you don't understand."  
  
"Yes, I do." She said, her eyes still burning into him. "When you spoke to her, you had the exact same expression when you first told me of her before our wedding. Don't ever think I will forget that expression, Inuyasha. It still haunts me."  
  
"Kikyo…" he reached to embrace her.  
  
"I've seen it before, and I hated it." She whispered weakly and allowed herself to be pulled into the arms of the man she loved. "At night, sometimes, I thought you looked the same. Do you know how much it hurts? To wonder if in your mind, you are with her when we make love?"  
  
"Kikyo…" he said and held her close to him. "I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, but I don't know what to tell you."  
  
"Just tell me the truth, Inuyasha." She whispered. She lurched back suddenly and covered her mouth, holding in a gagged heaving and paling He gripped on to her shoulders to steady her and looked over her with fearful confusion.  
  
"Kikyo! Are you alright?" He asked fervently.  
  
She breathed in deeply and steadied herself. "I'm fine, Inuyasha."  
  
"No," he shook his head sternly and rattled off his series of concerned questions, "Are you sick? How long have you felt badly? Have you checked it out at all?"   
  
Through the tears and despite her anger, Kikyo smiled. That look in his eye: protective, concerned, honest almost brutally… it was a look she loved dearly. It was a clear look into what was distinctly Inuyasha. She nodded gently. "I asked a colleague to check on it. He didn't find anything, but I asked him to run a blood test just to be sure. It really is nothing, Inuyasha."  
  
He nodded once in approval. She knew him too well to go ahead and ask for further tests before he had a chance to insist. His thought halted, however, as he felt her arms rose to his neck and her fingers slipped through his hair. Kikyo breathed deeply as she embraced her husband, and he allowed his arms to slip down to her waste as he held her close.  
  
"Just tell me, Inuyasha." She whispered against his neck, "Are you in love with her?"  
  
He sighed and let his arms circle around her. "I don't know." He almost breathed the words.  
  
"I was afraid of that." She said just as softly.  
  
"Kikyo… I…" he whispered only to be silenced by a quick and gentle kiss.  
  
"Don't." she murmured as she pulled back ever so slightly. "I don't want to talk about it any more." She kissed him once more and pulled herself into his body, allowing the curves of each other to fit together. "Just let me go on loving you." She whispered and traced down his arm to capture one hand from the small of her back.  
  
She clasped that hand gently and stepped away from him. She didn't take her eyes from his as she walked backwards, leading him along. Inuyasha nodded gently to his wife and gave her small hand a squeeze in reassurance to the silent request for his love, if at least physical love, as he followed her to their bedroom.  
  
** 12:30 PM**  
  
Oh this was too good to be true! Kagome grinned and signed the credit slip. Who had just walked past the shop window, as she was paying for that amazing little black dress she had been fortunate enough to find, than a strolling Miroku and Sango. Oh yes, this was too perfect to pass up. Super-secret matchmaker Kagome grabbed the bagged dress and crept along down the street, making use of every building corner, sidewalk cart, and over-weight pedestrian to keep herself hidden. She tailed them to a quant little sidewalk cafe.   
  
Situation Analysis: Miroku and Sango, strolling down the street on a spring afternoon to a cozy little bistro complete with sappy waiter and phony foreign accent. Romantic atmosphere, sample wines brought immediately to the table, Miroku's hand casually resting on top of Sango's as she blushed prettily.  
  
Conclusion: This was going to be fun.  
  
"Would you like to hear the specials?" Miroku was smiling down at Sango's blushing face as he heard the request over his shoulder.  
  
"I think we may need a little more time to de…. Ah!" He jumped when he found himself face to face with a vehemently smirking young face with blue eyes shining in triumph. Kagome grinned even deeper as Sango's blush went from that pretty pink to almost maroon and she almost fell from her intricately carved chair.  
  
"Kagome!" Miroku found his voice first as he glanced down to his date who was holding herself up with the table to keep from falling from her precarious half seated position. "What a surprise…"  
  
"I bet." She beamed in matchmaking victory. "Hi there, Miroku! It's been a while, but considering I've talked quite a bit with Sango, this really is a big surprise to all of us."  
  
"I…" Sango pulled herself ungracefully back up to a fully seated position, "Kagome… I…"  
  
"Didn't have to go to the dentist today?" her friend grinned. She would remember that "I kind of figured that out."  
  
The busted love birds cast each other an apprehensive glance before Sango looked back up to Kagome who was feigning betrayal and anger.  
  
"Are you angry?" she asked timidly.  
  
Kagome huffed irritably and puffed out her chest to make herself intimidating. It was like old times when she had made Souta do her share of chores by pretending to be furious with him over some little thing he had done. She had figured out that her anger had a terrifying affect on people, likely because it was such a change from her normal demeanor, but all the same was a highly affective way of getting her way. True to norm, Sango's eyes widened at the fury she was acting out, and she couldn't hold the scowl any longer. She launched forward and caught both of them in one armed hugs around their necks and laughed.  
  
"What do you think I was trying to do the entire time we were working?!" she cried out happily and started to laugh. Before long, the pair in her embrace smiled and laughed along with her.  
  
Kagome suddenly stopped laughing and Sango looked up to find a dangerous expression. "Kagome?" she asked quietly, trailing her eyes down her friend's body to discover a very misplaced hand. Soon there were two women sitting with identical fearsome faces and reaching for the nearest salad forks.  
  
Miroku pulled away quickly and pushed his chair what he hopped would be a safe distance and held his hands out to placate the vengeful women. Curse his hands for having a mind of their own! Kagome and Sango exchanged looks and nodded in agreement to whatever they may have said in their secret female language. It seemed to be getting steadily warmer under their stares. He unconsciously leaned back, keeping his hands out of striking distance and trying to make his face completely apologetic and sincere.  
  
"Kagome…" he said quickly, frantically trying to find something to bring this promisingly violent attention away from himself, "I…uh… hear you've become quite the asset to Pack Media… it would seem… um… congratulations… are in… order." With every pause, Kagome was stalking closer and closer to the flustered lawyer and he leaned a little bit further back. As he finished, she was breathing down on him and he was in a precarious position. He was rather annoyed with his traitorous hands for leaving him to face the wrath of two angry women.  
  
_'Oh yeah…'_ he thought as a sadistic little smirk found its way to that sweetly beautiful little face. A quick glance to Sango promised no rescue what-so-ever. _'I'm definitely dead.'_ He might as well just shut his eyes, take it like a man, and hope she didn't make him cry.  
  
A heartfelt laugh jarred his senses and jerked his eyes open. Kagome was wiping at her eyes in her mirth and Sango was trying to keep her amusement contained behind her hand. Miroku looked from one woman to the other trying to understand just how he was spared from death-some miraculous and divine intervention on his behalf? Perhaps a subtle sign for him to renounce his life thus far and devote himself to the holy calling? No-- he decided it must simply be a testament to one of the great truths of the universe: women were crazy.  
  
"Why are you laughing?" Kagome said in between sniggers shooting a glance at Sango. "Don't tell me you let him get away with that?"  
  
"Get away with what?" Sango gave a practiced look of apathy. "I was going to look for an apartment and this clown invited himself along. He's like a puppy!"  
  
_'Right…' _Kagome smirked. Women don't get murderous impulses over tag along clowns groping another woman's rear, and all women love puppies. She looked back down to Miroku, still holding himself on the teetering chair while the threatening fork was still firmly in her fist and poised just over his nose. He didn't look like he bought the excuse either.  
  
"My dear Sango, you wound me to the heart!" he gave a school boy's smile and she gave the chair a swift kick.   
  
Miroku groaned from the ground, convincing both women that he had been punished enough for the moment. "So this launch," Sango was smiling again, "I hear you've outdone yourself this time. Some new magazine publication?"   
  
"Yep." Kagome grinned. "I was so excited about the turn out, I bought a new dress to celebrate."  
  
"I'm certainly looking forward to seeing what you've created, Kagome." Miroku said pulling himself back to the table and rubbing his abused head. "I'll make sure my partner is on his best behavior this time.  
  
Kagome winced slightly at the memory, but after all-she and Inuyasha had worked through that, right?   
  
"I'm sure it will be fine." She said with a shrug.  
  
"And…" neither woman liked the smirking little smile Miroku suddenly sported, "I also hear you've accepted to attend with the VP of Relations for Pack Media?"   
  
"Yes… Miroku…" her lips twitched slightly, "I will be going with Kouga."  
  
"I see," he mused. "I didn't think it was just this publication that enticed you to the job with his firm."  
  
"Miroku," she put her hands on her hips, "I hope you're not suggesting that I have acted anything less than professional in dealing with Kouga in this job."  
  
"No no no!" Miroku waved dismissively, "I would never think such a thing. But I would like to ask one question."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What's the name of the magazine again?" he grinned.  
  
_'Crap…'_  
  
"Miroku, it's not my job to know the name of the thing." Kagome smirked confidently down at him.  
  
"Oh no?" he looked confused. "What is then?"   
  
"To make sure every one else knows its name." She winked down at them. "And you're not the one to lecture me about professionalism, sir. I am assuming you two will be showing up together." She grinned at the pair again as Sango's blush managed to creep back to her cheeks.   
  
Kagome giggled softly at the flustered reaction. Sango had this adorable confused expression whenever she was embarrassed or surprised at something either she or Miroku would say. So being the loving, caring friend she was, Kagome decided to do the only suitable thing in the situation-she'd fluster her even more. She cast Sango a smirking grin before crossing her arms across her chest and nodding sharply, as though coming to some long awaited decision.  
  
"Yep… twiterpaited." She said resolutely and ducked to avoid a quickly oncoming blow to the head. She gave one last laugh before snatching the lemon wedge from Sango's glass and popping it in her mouth and shooting the couple a yellow grin. She ran away before Sango could make any smart comments about the welfare of her teeth.  
  
** 8:00 PM**  
  
"Beautiful!" An Armani clad CEO's wife beamed and plucked a sparkling champagne flute from the nearest passing tray.  
  
"Absolutely wonderful!" A gray-haired journalist nodded enthusiastically and smiled with twinkling eyes to the beautiful PR Consultant who was responsible for the event. "Young lady, you are a marvel."  
  
"Thank you, sir." Kagome smiled sweetly. "I was happy for the experience. I had not yet worked in the media fields."  
  
"But if I can help it, she'll be doing it much more often." Kouga spoke proudly at her side.  
  
So far, the evening seemed a perfect success. Kouga was staying close to her side, seemingly bragging in body language that she was his date and proudly daring any man to approach her. Sango and Miroku, as predicted by the omniscient matchmaker, showed up together and were the recipients of many secret smug smiles. The guests were happy, the champagne was sweet, the atmosphere was lovely, and every person who had spoken to her had only praise. No complaints, no rude comments, no one causing any scenes… where was Inuyasha anyway?  
  
"There he is…" Miroku muttered softly, making Sango follow his gaze. Inuyasha, again forced to dress in the hated formality of a tuxedo, had entered with his wife on his arm and was making his way through the initial small talk with business associates. He spotted Miroku, and steadily made his way closer to them, pausing for polite responses to those who spoke to him.  
  
"Inuyasha," Kouga said, his voice suddenly much less cheerful, "You finally made it."  
  
Kagome watched him approach with his wife on his arm-the same beautiful woman she saw at his side many months before. However this time, the woman seemed much less happy to be seeing her in the crowd of business men. Inuyasha seemed even less happy, she couldn't understand why at that moment but felt Kouga's hand come to her shoulder and pull her into him. The scowl deepened on the approaching Inuyasha's face and it all came together.  
  
Kouga holding her against his body, Inuyasha looking like he wanted to rip the man's hand from his wrist, Inuyasha's wife looking increasingly uncomfortable and threatened; Kagome's mind formed one timeless question. _'Why me?'_  
  
"I think you've already met Miss Kagome Higurashi." Kouga said coldly, daring Inuyasha to make a rude remark so he would have cause to remove him from the event. He was disappointed when his adversary only nodded in acknowledgement to Kagome, who smiled and did the same. Oh well, he may not be able to throw Inuyasha out in the street, but he couldn't pout too much. He did have the object of his pursuits tucked firmly under his arm.  
  
"I'm so glad you could come tonight." Kagome smiled politely and offered her hand to Kikyo, making it a point to keep her eye contact restricted to her. She kept the cheerfulness in her eyes against Kikyo's considerably colder expression. To others, the chill may have been considered an unmerited rudeness, however, in light of certain events, Kagome could was easily forgiving of the married woman's dislike towards her. She kept her tone respectful and dignified, but didn't back down from the gaze.  
  
_'This is fucking insane!' _he thought bitterly. _'Does that bastard have to drape his fucking hands all over her?' _The pleasant image of himself ripping said appendages from Kouga's body flinted across his mind to ease some of his anger momentarily. It redoubled though as he realized he had no justifiable claim to have such inclinations of violence to the business man.   
  
"Kouga," the gray-haired journalist broke through the increasingly tense silence, "Where did you find this girl, and how are you planning on keeping her from being stolen away?"  
  
"Fate must have just been smiling on me." Kouga smiled charmingly down to her. "To find such a talented and intelligent asset for a company is discovery enough, but to find such a beautiful and engaging treasure to one's personal life as well is almost miraculous."  
  
Inuyasha shot him a cold stare when he saw a pink blush creeping to Kagome's cheeks at his words. He failed to notice that he was glaring at him over Kikyo's head and in plain sight of the blushing Kagome. He did however notice the fright and exasperation coming from the woman of topic.   
  
"I don't plan on her being stolen away easily." He said, "Only the greatest of idiots would ever let her get away when they have their chance." Kouga said smugly.   
  
That was enough. The ever tactful Inuyasha had heard his fill from the Relations VP. He muttered a quick "Excuse me. Thank you." And filtered back through the guests with Kikyo at his side. She made it very clear she had no intention of letting him getting any closer to that Kagome girl than was necessary.  
  
"Inuyasha?" she said softly when they were out of ear shot.  
  
"Yes?" he said hiding his frustration as best he could.  
  
"Why don't we just get out of here." She offered and took his arm in her own. "You always get bored in these things and I don't have any desire to mingle. Miroku is here; let him take care of socializing."  
  
He glanced back to the circle he from which he had retreated, catching his partner's questioning eyes. Miroku was much more of a people person, and in his current mood, he was more likely to breaking any networking ties Miroku managed to form. His glance strayed to Kagome, who was fighting herself not to turn and observe them. That cocky Kouga still practically hung off her--flaunting her.  
  
"I think that's a great idea." He said with conviction.  
  
Kagome knew Miroku watched him and envied the man his position. He could watch Inuyasha's movements discretely, where she would have to crane her head over her shoulder. Miroku's head turned, following Inuyasha back to the entrance and she braved to look in the same direction.  
  
He was leaving already. She watched him put on his coat from across the room, and frowned sadly. She knew the look he had worn at her position beside Kouga as he approached. It definitely wasn't a look a married man was entitled to give. So that was it, then. Any chance that they could at least be in each other's lives on friendly terms had blown away. With that kind of jealousy involved, there was no way they could be near each other, and just the thought made her sad.  
  
There was no place for her in his life.  
  
"Kagome?" Kouga said quietly and took her hand gently. She looked up into his sweetly concerned eyes and gave him a smile. "They want you to make the introduction now. Don't worry." He grinned, "Just go up, be charming and beautiful and say what a wonderful piece of work it is."  
  
"Right." She gave his had a squeeze in return and stepped away from the circle of people towards the podium. She had only gone a few steps before stopping suddenly, turning on her heel, and rushing back to Kouga with a worried expression.  
  
"What?" he asked with concern.  
  
"What's the name of this magazine again?" she whispered earnestly.  
  
A big grin came across his face and he chuckled softly enough for only her to hear. "I thought you knew."  
  
** 10:00 AM**  
  
"Hello?" The buzz for her apartment surprised her from the bathroom and she stood at her intercom with half dried hair and a damp towel.  
  
"Kagome?" a raspy voice called to her and she felt a strong thumping arise in her chest. She mentally chastised her heart for being so jumpy.  
  
"Inuyasha?" she said disbelievingly at the same time her mind was screaming out, _'No no no… he's not outside… he's not Inuyasha… he's not…' _  
  
"Yeah." He said and silenced her mind effectively. "Can I come up? I need to talk to you."  
  
"Yes… of course." She stuttered and buzzed him in. She unlocked her front door before making her mad dash around the apartment to get rid of the out of place knick knacks and dump them with her wet towel on her bedroom floor and hide them behind a closed door. Oh yes, living on her own had turned her into a regular Suzy Homemaker.  
  
In a few moments, she heard a gentle knock at her door and she called to him that it was open. She walked quickly back into the living room to greet him, trying to push the damp hair from her eyes. "Hi." She said with a soft smile.  
  
"Hi." He echoed and took her in. She was smiling to him, and a true smile as her eyes pulled up at their corners to give away the sincerity. He took in those eyes, like fog rolling over the ocean in the morning, and her damply curling hair haphazardly tossed away from her face.  
  
"Please sit down." She offered politely. "You can put your jacket anywhere…um… make yourself comfortable."  
  
He moved deftly across the room as she motioned him to her couch, and noticed she was fidgeting with her hands in front of her and kept having trouble looking up into his face.  
  
"Can… I get you anything?" she said to break the still quiet and he grinned slightly as her fingers came to the collar of her shirt, "Coffee… or something?"  
  
He shook his head softly and muttered an incomprehensible 'no thanks.'  
  
She cautiously sat at the other end of the couch, close enough to seem casual and polite, but still keeping a healthy distance between them. "I noticed you left very early last night." She said. "Were you feeling alright?"  
  
A sneer appeared momentarily as he said, "Certain guests there made my stomach turn a bit." He caught her eyes with the bluntness of the comment and his face softened. "I'm fine now, though…"  
  
She whipped her head to the side and hugged herself, startling him and leaving him wondering what he had done to make her so unhappy all of a sudden. He didn't get the chance to ask.  
  
"You can't do this, Inuyasha." She whispered with her hair falling from behind her shoulder and curtaining her face. "You're not allowed to be jealous."  
  
"I was not…" he started his protest, loudly, but was cut off.  
  
"Don't even try!" she yelled and glared at him, finding the courage to look him in the eye was much easier to find if she was angry. "I saw the way you were acting, and don't you dare treat me as if I'm stupid."   
  
It didn't seem like there was any safe response to this, so he wisely opted to stay quiet and still until she had calmed herself out of this tirade.   
  
"It's not fair, Inuyasha." She said with emotion. "You can't be jealous when I am with another man. You're the one who is married. It's not fair to anyone involved!"  
  
"I'm not jealous!" his resolve snapped and he growled at her. "Look! You're the one who said we were friends damn it! I'm just saying that guy is an idiot and I'm trying to help you out! You don't have to be ungrateful about it. I'm sorry I said anything at all now." He crossed his arms over his chest and looked away angrily.   
  
Kagome almost wanted to hit him for his pouting but fought to keep her irritation under control. Getting in a shouting match wasn't going to be a good way to handle this, but it sure would have been a relief at that moment.   
  
"So do you like him?" the blunt comment made her want to twitch.  
  
She sighed reminding herself once more that there was no way she would win if she tried arguing with him for this little display of hypocrisy. "I like him just fine." She admitted and tried to ignore the sour expression that he shot. "I just have reason to believe he's a lot more serious that I want to think about." He didn't need to know just how serious, she decided. That would not do well, considering how he was pouting at the moment. _'Right… you don't' care, huh?'_ She mentally taunted him.  
  
The fact that he was alone… in her apartment… appreciating how she looked with her hair a mess and curling about her face… did not make him comfortable with discussing the propriety of their current situation of a relationship.  
  
"Do… you want to go somewhere?" he offered. Perhaps a more public setting would strengthen the realm of platonicy for them. "Walk around… talk about this… maybe get dinner later… you know, as friends?"   
  
"I can't." she smiled and shook her head. "I promised Sango I would help her with the apartment search and she's going to cook dinner for us later to celebrate my new...."  
  
"Celebrate?" he crooked an eyebrow. "Your new what?"  
  
"Kouga…." She looked uneasy, "offered me a job with his company… and a much higher salary." That was all he needed to know right now. 'That's not the half of it, though.' She thought uneasily. In the nightstand by her bed, there was a little felt box and a little diamond ring that was waiting on an answer she didn't have at the moment. The man moved quickly, to say the least.  
  
Inuyasha didn't need to know anything about her personal life, and she was glad he didn't look like he was about to ask more about the subject of Kouga. He still seemed too thoughtful for her liking, though, and she almost wished he would speak again so she didn't have to find a way to break the uncomfortable silence.  
  
"What…." He softly complied to her desire, "what do you think… would have happened?"  
  
"When?" she whispered back, not completely aware that she was leaning closer to hear his voice.  
  
"If things had been different," he said at the same volume, "what do you think would have happened?"  
  
"If I hadn't left, you mean?" She asked.  
  
He gave a slight nod. "Or if you had, if I had gone out looking for you-if I hadn't gotten married, what would have happened?"  
  
"I don't know." Kagome breathed, not thinking that they were only inches away from each others faces. She had asked herself the same question many times and now was searching his eyes for the answer that had so long eluded her. "We probably would have killed each other…" She decided. "We'd get so aggravated with each other's stubbornness, we would have driven each other crazy."  
  
"We drive each other crazy now." He nodded.  
  
"Right," she said, "so we would have just lasted probably a little over a month and realize we had completely screwed up each other's lives and regret it for the rest of ours and…" she trailed off. They both were silent for a few moments wondering if they really believed all that they had just reasoned. Above all, they had to be rational and honest with the situation. They had to be adults and think responsibly. They had to lie to themselves.  
  
"Either that…" She whispered, never one to keep a lie up for long, "or we'd be working on our fourth kid by now."  
  
Words failed him at the thought that seemed the greatest truth he could have asked for. What if it had happened differently? What adventures would they have had together? Maybe they would have traveled the world with only each other's presence to keep them sustained. Maybe they would have settled in some little town off in the country and spent every night watching the sun set wrapped in a blanket and each other's arms. How long until they had a family? Would they have her eyes? It all might have been wonderful.  
  
"That's the thing with 'might-have-beens,' I guess." She whispered. "We'll just never get to find out. There's no use holding on…to.. something that can never be." She choked through the last words, quickly losing the composure in her voice.  
  
"Right…" he said. "I know you're right."  
  
"Is… that what you wanted to talk about?" she looked up at him from behind her bangs to see him give her a nod.  
  
"And," he took his hand inside his pant pocket, "I wanted to give something to you."  
  
"Oh no," she waved her hands in front of her, "No, that's not necessary. I wouldn't feel right… taking a gift from you."  
  
"It's not like that." He said softly and captured one of her hands, slapping something in her palm and holding it steady between his larger hands. Looking steadily into her eyes, he said, "I'm returning it… something I borrowed."  
  
He pulled one of his hands away, but kept hold of her with the other, and his eyes stayed fixed on her face as she looked down and see what he had given. Kagome's eyes opened wide and glittered with moisture as she caught the pale violet glimmer as her fingers opened.  
  
"I should have given it back a long time ago." He stroked a thumb across her wrist. "I guess I just wanted to hold on to it a little while longer."  
  
"Inuyasha" she whispered, but didn't move his hand away. She closed her fingers around the gem to make sure it was solid and really there. She had given it up as lost so long ago and the thought had broken her heart, but suddenly here it shows up for her once again. Kagome thought she would cry-her shikon jewel.  
  
"I thought this was lost forever." She said in a shaky voice.  
  
"Not lost," he said, "just with a different protector."  
  
"As long as I held on to that jewel," he continued, "I was holding on to you and your stupid idea about that 'perfect' love you talked about. I carried it around with me for a long time… even that night at the launch… was in my pocket the whole time, but I just wasn't ready to give it up then."   
  
He was not aware of the memories the gentle stroking of his fingers was bringing to the woman in front of him. The feel of those fingers, so strong and so gentle to her skin, tracing patterns that lingered where he touched her, the sensation brought shivers through her body remembering older patterns left by those same hands. Along her sides, down her back, across her stomach, over her breasts, her thighs, her calves, her arms, her neck: all were screaming in dull memory of an old touch, begging to be reminded. It had been so long, but her body remembered his touch.  
  
"It was something unconditional, I guess. It always calmed me." He said and smiled at the surprised look she gave him.  
  
"Unconditional?" she whispered.  
  
"Yeah," he nodded, "a reminder of something constant. That somewhere there was a girl who leaves the lights on in every room she goes in, who leaves the water on her bathroom counter without thinking, who is so stubborn that she'll walk around a city at night alone, but for all of that was always on my mind. Even all those little things that always annoyed the crap out of me," he smiled and placed his hand on hers holding the jewel, "they all made me smile."  
  
Her body caught fire and every cell of her being was screaming as his fingers glazed over her hand. He was so close; one little step forward would put her in his arms. She had seen hunger in a man's eyes enough times to recognize the sensuous fire staring down into her own. _'Please go away.' _She tried to make her voice speak, but her body was betraying her. Her body wanted to remember his fingers that it would betray her mind. The mind had no place in dealing with passion. By all means, it seemed a justifiable mutiny for her body to deny her wishes to send him away.  
  
_'Please go away.'_ Her mind tried again, _'I can't do this, but I don't think I can stop it… I don't think I want to.'_  
  
He gave her hand one last gentle squeeze, closing her fingers around the jewel once more, and letting it go. "But you're right. I can't think about what might have been if I'm going to keep the promise I made a long time ago."  
  
** 2:00 PM**  
  
"Good bye," Kikyo smiled to the little girl clutching her mother's hand. "You be good, sweetie." She looked up to the mother and smiled gently. "Just give her that medication every morning and she'll be fine. If her fever goes up again, call the offices."   
  
The mother thanked her and walked with her daughter down the hospital corridors. Kikyo smiled at the pair. It had only been a mild fever, a common bug that had been going around among school children lately and many anxious mothers had rushed their babies to her care thinking it some new strain of malaria. She had always found the mommy-coddling very cute. She picked glanced at her schedule for her next appointment and headed off down the corridor.   
  
"Hey Kikyo!" she turned to see a young intern coming to her. "Doc has your test results." He winked to her.  
  
Her breath caught in her throat and she gave the young man a questioning glance. She knew by now that interns were hopelessly curious and no doubt every one working as lab analysts knew her results already.  
  
"And?" she said quickly. "It's nothing right?"  
  
"Oh, it's something." He said mischievously.  
  
"What?"   
  
"Congratulations, Mommy." He said with a grin.  
  
** 5:00 PM**  
  
"He came here?!" Sango cried and almost burned the noodles she was working with on the stove.   
  
"Um hmmm" Kagome kept her attention on chopping the onions without that stupid teary side effect of the blasted vegetables.  
  
"Why on earth?!" Sango was dumbfounded.  
  
"He just wanted to talk… you know… about acting so strangely last night around Kouga." Onions had to be the most horrible food on the planet to prepare. She wondered who first considered eating a plant that made you cry when you cut it. Shouldn't that have been some sort of deterrent?  
  
"Why should he care?" Sango still hadn't forgiven Inuyasha for the last scene he caused when meeting Kagome at a launch.   
  
"I… uh…" she fingered at a necklace as she stammered, "I think he may have been jealous."  
  
"Jealous?" Sango huffed incredulously. "Of all the nerve… so he's a two-timing jerk as well as a rude jerk. What right does a married man have to be jealous and why would he come to your home to push it further?"  
  
"It wasn't just that…" she said and tugged lightly against the necklace, fingering a violet ball in her hands.   
  
"What else?" She asked softly, watching Kagome roll the gem around in her palm and try go cut at the slices with the other hand. "And what are you playing with?"  
  
Kagome opened her hand and showed Sango the small violet sphere hanging from her necklace. She recognized the jewel from hearing Kagome tell her how she lost a very precious necklace many years ago. "It's the Shikon jewel from my father." Kagome smiled.  
  
"You found it!" Sango cried out. "Oh, Kagome, I'm so happy for you! Where was it?"  
  
Kagome realized she didn't have an answer for that question. Sango knew she had lost the jewel years ago. She also knew that several years in her past, there was a one night stand with a man that she hadn't seen since; a man that she had run from the next morning in fear and shame. It wouldn't take too long to put the peices together.  
  
"Kagome?" Sango said gently. Kagome's mood had changed drastically in response to a simple question. Why? What would have caused her to be unsure and afraid so suddenly? She had found something precious to her that she thought was lost forever. Could it be just because Inuyasha's visit had upset her more than she was letting on? It didn't seem right, but it was one clue.  
  
"Are you alright?" she asked. "Did Inuyasha do something?"  
  
"No…" Kagome nervously played with the jewel again and tried to focus on her cooking again.  
  
"Why did he come if not just to talk about Kouga?" she persisted and noticed how Kagome tensed. She had this nagging doubt in her mind, but it had to be just some over zealous conclusion. There was no possible way… but still… "Where did you find the jewel?" She asked.  
  
"Inuyasha… had it." Kagome whispered almost too softly to be heard.  
  
Sango's mind went racing. If Kagome lost this thing years ago to Inuyasha's possession, that launch was not the first time the two had met and his behavior possibly could be attributed to something other than an innate ability to be a jerk… possibly. Ok, so there was a history, so perhaps there was some cause to him acting with jealousy to Kouga, but Kagome never mentioned a relationship other than…Oh no!  
  
"Kagome…" Sango said looking suddenly very serious, "he wasn't the man, was he?"  
  
Kagome dropped the knife she had been using to cut an onion and began to cry harder than the vegetable should have induced her. Sango had her answer and rushed to her side.   
  
"Why did he have to be here?" Kagome cried into her friends shoulder as Sango gently rubbed her back, at a complete loss for any other form of comfort.  
  
"It's okay…" she mumbled and pressed her cheek to Kagome's head. "It's okay, Kagome. It was a long time ago." She was quickly running out of reassurances as the tears soaked through her shirt. "And once he was married, you haven't done anything wrong. You made him leave, Kagome! It was the right thing to do. You don't have to feel ashamed."  
  
"Yes I do, Sango." She pulled back and looked into her eyes with a fear that Sango did not understand. Kagome was afraid to tell her-afraid she would judge. She embraced her a little tighter to try to show it would never be so. "I've done something horrible."  
  
"What is it?" Sango asked behind the lump in her throat.  
  
"I fell in love with him."   
  
** 10:00 PM**  
  
Inuyasha shut the door quietly behind him and walked quickly up the stairs to his bedroom. He brushed his fingers through his tangled hair absently, making a mental not that salt air does not make that an easy task. How many hours had he sat at that bridge, looking out over the harbor to the west? The stars were out long before he left to walk home. He hadn't much care about the several mile walk.  
  
Maybe he had been waiting for her, hoping she would come to that spot where he found her before, but of course, he knew she wouldn't.  
  
"Inuyasha," Kikyo's voice came from behind and whispered in his ear.   
  
He turned to her and was surprised as she pressed herself against him and kissed him gently. "I have something to tell you." She whispered in a sultry voice.  
  
  


_ ***  
  
Oh, the hardest thing I've ever had to do   
Is holding her, and loving you  
  
***  
  
_

**Next Chapter:** Rock-A-Bye  
  



	5. Rock a Bye

**Author's Notes:** Ok… warnings. There are many mature and dramatic situations in this chapter. I only hope I have done some justice to the topic. There were many wonderful reviews, but one caught my attention. The reviewer mentioned they disliked the content about cheating. I agree with this COMPLETELY! I don't think there's anything more sacred than marriage when it is in the spirit of love and that bond must be treated as sacred at all times. I believe the characters display this sentiment and I'm pleased with the message I'm trying to display.  
  
**The low down:** Let me say… researching this chapter wasn't the happiest of things. And just writing it was extremely hard. I've had a very good friend experience this…Oh… and Miroku's line at the end of the first time jump…. Attribute that to Mark Twain.   
  
  
  
** Love and Marriage  
  
Chapter 5:   
Rock-A-Bye  
**   
  
"Inuyasha," Kikyo's voice came from behind and whispered in his ear.   
  
He turned to her and was surprised as she pressed herself against him and kissed him gently.  
  
"I have something to tell you." She whispered in a sultry voice.  
  
***  
  
  
  
**12:00 PM**  
  
"Lunch!"   
  
A brown paper bag with a discolored bottom plopped down on the desk. Inuyasha turned his nose up from the smell of grease. He suddenly remembered why he never let Miroku choose a restaurant as pulled his report folders out from under the unappetizing parcel.  
  
"I can almost feel arteries clog now…" Inuyasha sneered at his lunch.  
  
"Hey, you only live once, and it's short." Miroku plopped down in front of him. "Might as well live fat and happy." He smirked and propped his feet up in Inuyasha's desk.  
  
"Oh! Now this is interesting…" Miroku grinned bigger and pulled a baby blue book from under his shoes. "The Big Book of Baby Names… cute."  
  
Inuyasha couldn't stop his own grin from coming out. That grin had been getting bigger and bigger every day for quite a while. Kikyo was three months along. The night she told him, he was blown away. But the smile quickly overcame his shocked expression and hadn't left.  
  
In fact, he had focused on nothing but the baby for several weeks and thought constantly of fulfilling the void in his life. He could concentrate completely on the child and forget the past. He could finally give all his loyalty to his family as he had promised, but with his whole heart. Keeping away from Kagome wouldn't have to be so difficult. It had become even more so day by day.  
  
"Maybe we could get Kagome to do the baby shower." Miroku laughed. It didn't escape his attention that Inuyasha didn't join in on his joke. The comfort in the room vanished like air from a balloon.   
  
"You know," Miroku said, "she's quite a girl… that Kagome…" If he pushed this much farther, Inuyasha just might start squirming. "She and Sango have become quite close."  
  
"So, what's your point?" Inuyasha asked not liking the direction his little lunch time socializing was taking.  
  
"Well, I mentioned something along the lines of her relationship to Kouga which Sango felt the need to correct…"  
  
"She slapped the crap out of you, huh?" Inuyasha smirked.  
  
"Not the point!" Miroku snapped. "Anyway, she corrected that sympathy was needed with Miss Kagome. Apparently she hasn't had the greatest experiences with men in the past."  
  
Inuyasha couldn't help feeling rather affronted. The scowl wasn't unnoticed.   
  
"It took some prying, but I got the barest of elaboration to that statement… and I couldn't help notice some similarities to a situation you told me about… a long time ago."   
  
They were watching each other intensely. Calculating each others thoughts. Sizing the other up. Miroku, however, had the upper hand in this.  
  
"I couldn't help thinking, Inuyasha, just how familiar her name sounded… Kagome." Miroku said, "I never could think of how, though… until recently."  
  
"It's a pretty common name." Inuyasha offered dryly. "Crystal… Kimberly… Kagome… you meet ten whenever you walk in a room."  
  
"I've never met another Kagome."  
  
"Well you're generally more interested in other parts of a woman than her name." Inuyasha smiled.  
  
"Look!" Miroku gave an aggravated sigh and slapped down hard on the desk, "Just drop the act and be straight with me. Yes or no: Was Kagome the girl?"  
  
Inuyasha hesitated a moment before looking away.   
  
"Yes."   
  
"I see…" Miroku rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So I guess that's why you were such an ass that night at Sango's launch?"  
  
Miroku had learned long ago that to some questions, a threatening growl was as close to an affirmation as he was ever going to get.  
  
"Well damn…" Miroku says thoughtfully and smiled. "At least you know her last name now." Despite his humor, Miroku hadn't said all he needed. It wouldn't be a pleasant conversation and he wasn't all that anxious to have it. But, if he was going for uncomfortable, yet true subjects, he decided he might as well go for the gold.   
  
"You know, this doesn't just make it all go away, Inuyasha." Miroku said softly. "This baby, I mean…"  
  
Inuyasha snapped his head up with a violent and hateful glare. "Look!" he shot to his feet and pounded the desk. "Where do you get the nerve?! Do you think I haven't had enough guilt that I need a sermon from you? Well get this through your head, because I fucking don't. It's not your damn business, Miroku!"  
  
Through the tirade, Miroku kept a stoic face and opted simply to observe his friend pace around his office and huffily commit himself to looking out the window down at the street. _'Oh yes… pouting is always productive,' _he thought. _'And that glare and arm cross combo just never gets old…' _ He knew he was touching on the most volatile of possible subjects, but Inuyasha wasn't facing reality. If he thought he could just lie to himself and expect to just forget about the woman assaulting his soul for so long by becoming a father, he was just setting himself up for another disappointment. But it was bigger this time. Miroku couldn't let him pretend everything would be fine and hurt himself, Kikyo, and an innocent child because Inuyasha wanted to be in denial. He couldn't stop himself from speaking up this time.  
  
But he couldn't help being sympathetic either. "It's hard, isn't it?" He said quietly to Inuyasha's back. "Being torn…"  
  
He sighed and sagged his shoulders in defeat. "It's like I'm being drug into hell."  
  
Inuyasha shook his head sadly and risked a glance over his shoulder to see what reproving look he was getting. He was surprised, however, to see Miroku nodding in thought with eyes closed and arms crossed over chest.  
  
"How did my life get so insane?" Inuyasha asked.  
  
"Because life isn't a fairy tale." Miroku said with confidence. "After all, of course we should expect that reality would be stranger than fiction. Fiction at least has to make sense."   
  
**2:00 AM**  
  
Something was wrong.  
  
Inuyasha pulled himself up on his arms and rubbed his eyes sleepily. His sleep had become uneasy suddenly but he was already forgetting whatever haunting dream had shaken him awake. It would be silly to worry over some silly dream, but still… He couldn't shake the feeling.  
  
He was alone.  
  
It was colder he noticed and found that the blankets had been thrown to the side haphazardly. The other side of the bed was empty. "Kikyo?" he said softly in the dark room.  
  
It was quiet. No movement anywhere in the bedroom, but there was something. It was soft… subdued…   
  
He sat up in bed and looked through the darkness for any sign of his wife, but found none. Just an empty bed and a soft noise he wasn't sure if he even heard. He noticed though, the door was ajar.  
  
Something was wrong.  
  
"Kikyo?" he said a little louder and pulled the covers away. There was a disturbing pull at his heart.   
  
He walked out into the hall, searching and listening. It was faint…   
  
"Kikyo?"   
  
He moved faster as that fearful pulling tugged at him insistently. Why wouldn't she answer him? He was sure he heard something now and he was getting closer. It was getting louder… crying?  
  
He was running now. She was close and more than just crying. He could hear a choking, drowning kind of sob and he was terrified. He came to the hall bathroom with the door ajar and the sobbing just inside. Why the hall? Why so far away? Why?!  
  
"Kikyo?! What's going…" He flung the door open and his heart came up into his throat. Kikyo was trembling… sobbing… bleeding.  
  
"Wha… what's wrong?! The… the… ba… I don't know… don't know… what to…" she was choked out her words, almost shrieking. She shook violently and looked at him in such horror. He had rushed her into his arms and ran from the room.   
  
"It's wrong!" Kikyo cried out hysterically. "Can't… be this way… Can't stop the bleeding…"  
  
Even if she could, it was too late.  
  
**5:00 AM**  
  
"Sir…" a hand came softly to his shoulder and Inuyasha looked up into a compassionate old face behind a large rimmed pair of bifocals. The doctor looked down into his eyes with sympathy magnified in his lenses.   
  
Sympathy was bad.  
  
"Sir, I'm very sorry to have to tell you this." The doctor spoke in a calm, even voice as Inuyasha's mind screamed incoherent terrors. "Your wife has had a miscarriage."  
  
The world came to an end right then and there.  
  
"H--" Inuyasha found his mouth was completely dry. An emptiness filled him from his toes to his ears. It was so soon. He hadn't even had time to really hold on to the joy-he had just found out he was going to be a father! It couldn't just be taken away now. "H-How? Why?" he choked out.  
  
The older man sighed. This of course as horrible for the grieving father, but of course he would want to understand. "It is something known as an ectopic pregnancy." He stepped back to watch the young man as he struggled to keep control of his emotions. "The baby began growing in the fallopian tube rather than in the womb."  
  
"Is she alright?" he couldn't bring any strength to his voice. "Kikyo… is she alright?"  
  
"She's suffering from the loss." He was completely solemn and Inuyasha nodded. He had this much pain, yet it must not even compare to the loss she must have been experiencing. What could he do? Would he be able to help her through this and take care of his own heart? "She's in no danger," the doctor continued, "however…"  
  
Inuyasha jerked his eyes up to meet those of the older man.  
  
"I have to tell you, it is unlikely that your wife will ever be capable of carrying a pregnancy to term."  
  
And then the universe collapsed on itself.  
  
"We'll never have children?"  
  
"There's very little hope." The doctor gave Inuyasha's shoulder a squeeze. "I'm very sorry."  
  
"Take me to her." He shrugged the hand away and stood.  
  
Kikyo lay on her side in the dim light and didn't bother to wipe the tears away. The salt from them burned her skin, but she didn't dry her eyes, not even against the pillow already collecting the tears as they fell. It didn't matter… nothing mattered any more. Kikyo was a beaten soul; no more hope to give her strength. Hope didn't exist, but was just a cruel invention to keep the foolish from learning the truth.  
  
And here, alone in a hospital bed with her clean white linen sheets drenched in tears, Kikyo was having her hardest lesson. With a dull, throbbing, _aching_ pain as if her soul was being pulled and torn like a pack of wolves fighting over a piece of meat, she knew she would never have the life she wanted. She wanted only to live happily, in piece with those she loved, caring for those she cared for, and simply enjoying the simple gift of life. But apparently this is was too much for her to ask for. She should have known better.  
  
She heard the door click and creak open behind her and she flinched. Of course he would come to her… to take care of her… to be strong for her.  
  
A spark of anger light inside her.  
  
"Kikyo?" a faint whisper came from behind her. For all his promises and comfort, all she ever wanted from him was love. She couldn't have it from him, not even the part of him that would make up their child. She had been denied it all, and she was angry.  
  
"Go away, Inuyasha…" she whispered bitterly.  
  
"Kikyo, I…" he knelt down beside the bed but she refused to look at him. "I'm so sorry." He placed his hand on top of hers.  
  
"DON'T!" She jerked away with a shout. "Don't touch me!" Fire was burning inside her as she looked at him. She had loved him so long; this anger was so strange. How does love turn into hate?  
  
"Kikyo, please?!" He backed away a little. "Let me help you. Please!"   
  
"Just go away…" she whispered once. She couldn't look at him any more! Couldn't stand that pitying look in his eyes. "GET OUT!" she screamed.  
  
"GET OUT! GET AWAY FROM ME! GO AWAY!"   
  
Kikyo was working her way into hysteria. Inuyasha had no idea what to do, but he didn't have to wonder long. The chaos apparently could be heard all through the hall because in moments, several nurses rushed into the room. Kikyo was still screaming at him to get out.  
  
"Sir." He turned and found the doctor at the door. "The grief is too much for her right now. It would be better for her if you leave. She needs to remain calm."  
  
"But…" he started.  
  
"GET OUT!" Kikyo screamed as nurses tried to calm her.  
  
"Sir please." The doctor urged.  
  
Inuyasha watched as the nurses ran out of options and inserted a syringe into her IV. Kikyo relaxed slowly and stopped thrashing. "Get out… Inuyasha…" she muttered as the sedative worked its way through her blood. "Get… out… Inu…" She dropped to sleep.  
  
"Sir." The doctor insisted. "it would be best if you leave her alone for now."  
  
It was all he could take, and finally his will broke. Inuyasha clenched his fists hard and his face twisted in frustration. He turned sharply and glared at the doctor before heading back to the door. He growled out his response, "Fine."  
  
She wanted him to leave. Fine. The doctors wanted him to leave. Sure.   
  
He was just causing all the problems wasn't he? Stupid Inuyasha screwing up everyone's life once again! He gave a frustrated sigh and increased his pace.   
  
Thump-thump-thump  
  
Just couldn't do anything right could he? Couldn't comfort his wife! Couldn't do anything to help her or else just didn't do anything fast enough!   
  
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP  
  
Was someone punishing him for something? He thought of everything that had hurt Kikyo and how he couldn't stop it or had caused it. Was he being tortured for the pain he caused her? He could understand, but hadn't that what he had been experiencing for the last five years? What about every night where the guilt ate at his heart, digging a throbbing hole in his soul, huh?! That hadn't exactly been fun! He had tried so hard to make it right, but that guilt never went away, and now he was being punished on top of all that!  
  
Too much…  
  
**THUMP-THUMP-CRASH!**  
  
A rolling cart of hospital food became the object of his wrath as, with a body as tense as steel cables, Inuyasha swung and sent the metal and dishes flying across the hall. With the backlash of the swing, he flung himself to the other side of the hall and pounded against the wall.  
  
"WHY?!" he threw his arms up and screamed. "WHAT DID I DO?!"  
  
The air felt thick in his lungs. It seemed to collect in his throat, slowly choking the life from his body. His head was pounding with his straining heart and every torturing thump blurred his vision more. The aguish washed over him in waves, growing and growing with every aching second. Never ebbing, the pressure was becoming too much for his shattered heart.  
  
"I TRIED!" he slammed his fists against the wall. He was screaming without regard and without notice for the frightened nurses and orderlies. They were scattering quickly to give him space. Patients often resorted to emotional outbursts in moments of intense loss, but seldom were they as intimidating as the raging man thrashing about in the hall.  
  
"What more am I supposed to do?!" he cried as his fists echoed each word, but growing less violent. His shoulders slumped and he stopped fighting.   
  
He didn't want to fight anymore. What good would it do him anyway?  
  
"I tried so hard…" he muttered into the wall, leaning against his arms still braced against the cracking plaster.  
  
So hard… Every minute, every second, of every day he thought about the promise he made to Kikyo. He had tried to keep it-tried everything he could think. He stayed away. He put Kagome behind him. He denied his heart what it screamed for him to take. No one could accuse him of not trying!  
  
But what do you do when trying isn't good enough?  
  
"I give up." He muttered and pushed himself away from the wall. He ran down the hall to waiting area and through the door. He didn't stop in the hospital parking lot. He didn't stop at the street corner. Thunder clouds loomed over head and the night air was still and warm. Inuyasha didn't notice any of it and he didn't stop. He never stopped running. He just stopped fighting. It just didn't seem to do any good.  
  
Inuyasha had stopped trying.  
  
**6:00 AM**  
  
Kagome woke with a start. It was raining hard and she could hear thunder rumbling. But thunder hadn't woken her… she could hear her buzzer in the other room, but who on earth would visit so early?  
  
_'Whoever it is, they're insistent.' _She thought as she shrugged on a robe and went to her intercom.  
  
"Kagome?!" came an urgent voice.  
  
"Inuyasha?!" She gasped and subconsciously pulled her robe tighter. "What's wrong? How long have you been buzzing me?"  
  
"Kagome, please… I have to talk to you. Please let me up…"   
  
There was something so desperate in his voice that she didn't dare refuse. Worry gripped her as she quickly buzzed him in and ran to unlock her door. She barely turned the latch before the knob flung back and Inuyasha rushed in. He pulled her into an embrace too quickly for her to even ask what was wrong.  
  
"How did it go so wrong?" He whispered with such desperation she didn't know how to respond. "What did I do that made everything in my life turn out so horribly?" He pulled her into him even tighter and breathed her in. He crushed her into his chest like he was holding on to his last thread of life. "This… This is the only thing that feels right."  
  
"Inuyasha…" she whispered quickly but he didn't let her get any further.  
  
"I knew it then! I knew it that first night when I had a chance to change it all. I should have acted on it then and it all would have been so much better. But I didn't believe it. I was afraid."  
  
He ran his fingers through her hair, and let them slide over her cheek and down her shoulder. He traced her arm with his finger tips all the way down to her hand and covered it with his own. Her heart was thumping in her ears staring into his questioning eyes. His thumb stroked from between her wrist and fingers softly and he cupped her cheek with the free hand. He let his fingers slide along the sensitive spot behind her ear, making her face fall into his hand and her eyes close with a soft sigh. He cupped her cheek and gently brought her face closer, watching her the entire time for any sign of resistance. But her eyes were closed, keeping any fear they might have held a secret and all he could see was a longing to match his own.  
  
_'Please just let me.' _He thought and brushed his lips against hers. She sharply took in her breath and he pulled back only slightly to observe her.  
  
Kagome glanced up at him through half lidded eyes and gave him a smile. She truly did want him with as much passion and desperation as she found in those beautiful amber eyes. It may have been sinful, but the weakness in her could not resist the longing caused by the man she loved holding her and kissing her as she had wished with such fire he might someday do again. She was only human, and the woman in her needed him. So she closed her eyes and nuzzled into his hand, indulging her weakness in the caress.  
  
That was all the encouragement Inuyasha needed. _'This is right.' _His mind screamed and he kissed her again, much deeper this time. The intensity of it caught her breath and she couldn't bring her body to respond at first, but he didn't stop. He pulled her body flush against his own and circled his arms around her back, trapping her there as if something would come from behind and steal her away. Gradually, Kagome regained her senses enough to move her lips along with his and wrap her arms around his back and shoulders.  
  
Their tongues were playing together like old friends reunited after being too long apart. They would touch tips gently or run along each others' sides, as they reacquainted themselves, remembering the feel of each other. He pushed their forms down on the cushions, putting her between the back of the couch and his body. He wanted to remember more of her.  
  
He tangled her legs with his own so that she straddled his upper leg and pulled her even closer to his chest and tightened his arms around her back. He remembered this and brought his leg higher, pressing against her junction through her pajama bottoms and felt her entire body tense as he rubbed against her. Yes, it was exactly the same reaction. He wondered if she still made those fluttering moans as he kissed his way down her chin, neck and chest. Yes! The exact same noise he had only dreamed for years. Did her muscles still dance under her skin? He pushed his hands through the folds of her robe and up beneath her shirt and traced down her ribs and waist and delighted in the way they shivered against him. Yes, it was all like he remembered-like he had imagined ever since their first night. _'This is right.' _He thought again.  
  
He knew what he wanted now. He wanted to hear that moan. He wanted to see if she would still unleash that passion from that one place he discovered. He wondered if anyone else had ever found it, but hoped not. He wanted that passion's release to be a power he alone would be able to grant her. He had to find out… had to hear it again. He gripped her small waist to hold her still and brought his fingers around to her back, dipping under the waist of her pants. He followed the curves of her body to the dip above just above the seam of her underwear. He would take care of those after he got the sound he wanted. He pressed into the spot firmly and Kagome's blissful sigh entered him through his kiss. It was even more powerful than he remembered and her cry tickled his lips. She clutched him and ground her hips to him with a ferocity he had never seen. No one else must have found the spot he guessed and smirked against her mouth. No one had caused her that joy since he had first shown it to her.  
  
Nothing would hinder them any more.  
  
"no…"  
  
Nothing would come between them any more.  
  
"no."  
  
He didn't care what happened. He wouldn't let the anything in the universe stop what they finally had the opportunity to have. The future didn't matter any longer. Nothing but the girl he held against him mattered.  
  
"No."  
  
It wasn't going to work. As long as he just kept kissing her, they were the only two people in the world. He didn't have to listen to the thoughts telling him 'no.' He could ignore them for all eternity if he wanted to. Not his conscience, not anything in all the realms of the sadistic universe would stop him now.  
  
"Inuyasha, NO!" she screamed and pushed him away frantically.   
  
Kagome would.  
  
"Inuyasha we can't. Please… we can't. This is wrong… this is just wrong. You're married!" she panted out and started to cry. "It's wrong, Inuyasha. You have to understand… I won't be the other woman. I can't… I just can't. Please…"  
  
She sat them both up with tears rolling freely down her face. She pushed his arms away from her and wouldn't allow his comfort.   
  
"Kagome, I…" He didn't know what to say now. Was there even anything he could do?   
  
"Just go." She whispered between sobs.   
  
"Kagome…" he tried to wipe a tear from her cheek but she recoiled as if the touch burned her.  
  
"Go." She commanded. "Go home to your wife."  
  
He stood slowly, watching her crumple down in tears. He felt the dull ache in his chest, like the whole thing would just cave in. Was this some new form of guilt that was about a hundred times more powerful? Or was this just the heartbreak he had heard so many people talk about. He always thought they were just being stupid about it… Live and learn. He walked backwards to her door, never taking his eyes off her crying figure. He hated to watch her like that, but he deserved the pain it caused in his heart for all the pain he had just brought to her. He backed out of her door into the hall.  
  
"I'm sorry." he whispered. "Of course you're right. Thank you-for stopping. She's suffered already, and I couldn't forgive myself if I betrayed her, but I'm sorry for being so selfish. Being with you makes me happy and it's all I want in the world, but I know I can't have that. I made a promise. Thank you for helping me keep it."   
  
She stared at him from across the room and nodded. He began to close the door, blocking them from each other. "She hasn't done anything wrong." He whispered before it clicked shut.   
  
He turned quickly and marched down the stairs, back out the front door of the complex, and out in rain. There was nothing else to it.  
  
Inside, Kagome forced herself to her feet and stumbled to the door. She wanted more than anything to just throw it open and call him back. To take him in her arms and never leg go again. She gripped the door knob in a shaky hand. It would be so easy.  
  
She locked the door and walked away to her bedroom.   
  
She buried her head into a pillow and sobbed pathetically, the dull aching sobs that feel like your chest will rip open if you don't stop but you don't care if it does or not. She didn't know how long she cried like that but the next thing she knew the sun was peeking through her window.  
  
One thing was clear…  
  
_'I can't stay here. I don't want to any more.'_ It wouldn't be too hard… Sango was still looking for a lease, with two weeks notice it wouldn't be a problem being set up with another job, she wasn't that attached to the city to stay, and for that matter, not too attached to another man in said city to stay. She wouldn't even miss the ring… princess cut never was her favorite setting.   
  
"Hi… yes… I need a flight to Tokyo…" She forced her voice to be calm and wiped a tear away. "One way… two weeks please… for Kagome Higurashi."  
  
  
  


_ ***  
  
If she'd give me one good reason, I'd be gone.  
She ain't done, one thing wrong  
***  
  
_

  
  
**Next Chapter:** Does He Love You  
  



	6. Does He Love You?

**Author's Notes:** We're entering what is referred to the Dissociation Phase in dyadic relationships. I tried to throw in a little funny to counteract some of the sadness going on with this phase in a relationship. Wow… don't I sound like I know what I'm talking about? I've been writing this with my research and my texts in front of me, so while generally I have no clue what I'm talking about, this time I have at least a general idea.   
  
**The Low Down:** I'm back in my dorm after a week in Florida searching for gators with the Lizzie! We're some croc hunters! Chapter 7 and 8 will still be up in hopefully a timely manner. You'll like it… Don't be scared with the next couple of chapters.   
  
  
  
** Love and Marriage   
  
Chapter 6   
  
Does He Love You?   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
** "Hi… yes… I need a flight to Tokyo…" She forced her voice to be calm and wiped a tear away. "One way… two weeks please… for Kagome Higurashi."  
  
***  
  
  
  
**6:00 PM**  
  
He pushed the bedroom door open with his shoulder holding breakfast tray.  
  
The room was still and calm, and filled with the same eerie blue light and threatening silence. She was laying in the bed on her side with her back to him, but he could see her sides rise and fall rhythmically. If he concentrated hard, he could focus on the muted breathing of the resting figure across the room, or perhaps that was just his own breathing? He never could be completely sure.  
  
Once again, she didn't even glace at him as he walked through the door.  
  
"Kikyo…" he whispered gently, "I've brought you some dinner." She made neither movement nor sound.   
  
"You haven't been eating nearly enough…" his voice was weak. "I'm worried about you."  
  
Inuyasha reached to touch her shoulder, but she only shook him away and wrapped herself deeper into her blankets. He gazed over her body, once soft and curved and yet already thin, but now coming frighteningly jagged and boney. How long had he suffered watching her deteriorate on her own whim? One week? Two weeks? It felt close to fifty years now while he watched the bones of her vertebra move with her breathing.  
  
"Kikyo please… eat." He pleaded. "You haven't even left the room…" He waited for something, anything, but the only reaction he ever got was a recoil to his touch. She was killing him, but there was no way he could bring himself to be angry for it. Not after everything…  
  
"I'll just leave it here…" he said weakly and set the tray on the night table. He touched her shoulder gently and his heart wrenched when she shuddered at the contact. "Please eat something, Kikyo." He pleaded in a whisper. She didn't say a word.  
  
He stood and stepped away from the bed and backed toward the door so he could watch her. She didn't move or look at him. Her reaction to his soft touch had been the only indication she knew he was there at all. "I'll come check on you again later." He offered from the door.  
  
Still nothing.  
  
"Please, Kikyo." He begged. "Please don't do this."   
  
The door clicked softly as he left. Kikyo's eyes darted once to where he had been standing. She took a ragged breath and clutched her pillow closer to her and buried her face in deep.  
  
  
**10:00 AM**  
  
  
  
"She won't even talk to me…" he said miserably leaning back in his chair with his hands over his face.  
  
Miroku sat in his usual chair across from Inuyasha's desk. Some psychiatrists get a couch and some get a leather rolly-swivel chair. Psychiatrists didn't get to have rolly chair races down the halls when their patients weren't around though. They also probably didn't go crashing into water coolers and have to blame it on the night cleaning staff. He always wondered what happened to that janitor…  
  
But in the mean time! He was in that uncomfortable position of wanting to offer comfort, but having no earthly idea just how to do it. It's not like he could just tell him… 'Hey man! It'll be ok. Want to go get a drink?' So Miroku opted for the more 'Carl Rogers' approach of council and kept his yap shut and nodding where it seemed appropriate.  
  
"She won't look at me. She eats hardly enough to stay alive. She stays in bed all day, but looks like she hasn't slept in a week." He gave a frustrated sigh. "I just don't' know what to do anymore… I don't know how to help her."   
  
"I don't know what to tell you either." Miroku said with sympathy.  
  
"Do you think it can ever be the same?" Inuyasha asked. "Kikyo and I… can we go back to the way it was before…"  
  
"I don't know…" Miroku said in all honesty.  
  
"What that whole philosophy?" he persisted. "What about never giving up on a loved one? _'There is always hope that a friendship or a love can warm up again.'_ What about that?"  
  
"I think it's a beautiful philosophy." Miroku said. "But it's not always true."  
  
Inuyasha gave a disappointed grunt and braced his elbows on his desk, holding his head and Miroku continued. "People change, Inuyasha. They will grow with time and they will change. You can't stop it and you can't just change back."  
  
They were silent for several moments before Inuyasha looked up from his hands and asked, "Why did it have to turn out like this, Miroku?"   
  
"I don't know." Miroku said. His heart went out to the man he for so long called partner. "There's not much you can do to change how you feel though. It's not like you can help who you fall in love with…"   
  
"Why not?"  
  
"What?" Miroku looked up surprised.  
  
"Why not?" Inuyasha said again in all seriousness and looked Miroku dead in the eye. "You should be able to control it."  
  
"Um…" Miroku was searching for a response… He certainly hadn't been expecting an argument to that basic cookie-cutter, albeit clichéd piece of wisdom, but leave it to Inuyasha to surprise him.  
  
"You can control what people are in your life by who you associate with." Inuyasha went on, "Then you should be able to control who you would 'fall in love with' by controlling what people are around you. You would come to care for those people you let in your life! You should be able to control love." He slapped the desk to emphasize his point.  
  
Miroku nodded once and considered the argument. Smart… plausible… it made perfect sense, So naturally it had to be wrong.  
  
"Some people you just don't see coming." He said softly.  
  
  
** 1:00 PM**  
  
  
  
_'Come on little flashy guy…'_ Kagome thought as she waited for her walk signal. She wiped the skin under her sunglasses gently. Goodbyes always seemed to be so sad, but a handsome, charming, rich, and adoring man offering you everything in the world if you would just stay with him certainly didn't improve matters any more. Giving him back an 8 karat tiffany ring would just about break any woman's heart, but Kagome knew what she had to do.  
  
For all she tried, she just couldn't make herself fall in love with Kouga. She just couldn't make the mistake to marry someone she didn't love, even if he happened to be every rational thing she could possibly want. Love wasn't rational, and it had its own horribly inconvenient ways of reminding people of that fact. A girl just doesn't cross the forces of love if she doesn't want the whole universe to come tumbling down on her head.  
  
Kagome sighed as the little man flashed on the other corner. She crossed quickly and rounded the corner. Just a few more blocks… to what? Home? Not anymore… but what good is a home when your life, both professionally and personally, is completely torn to pieces.   
  
Why did everything have to come back to him? What cosmic imbalance thought it fit to make Inuyasha the center of her universe? Was God just demented that day?! But no matter what she had tried, she couldn't get away from the ill tempered, foul mouthed, arrogant, immature, hurtful, bastard who made a slurping sound when he drank champagne from the flute! There was just so much wrong about him without even having to consider a little circle of gold around one very important finger, and yet the universe in all its spite saw it fit to make her fall in love with that stupid man.  
  
_'Stupid universe…'_ Kagome thought bitterly and turned the corner towards her building.  
  
Why couldn't she just love Kouga. Things would be so much simpler.  
  
She gave a little sigh of defeat and dug inside her purse for a key, looking down to sort through the random items littering her bag. She looked up wearily and held the key, and practically jumped out of her skin when she looked down into a pair of accusing brown eyes sitting smartly on the doorstep. She hadn't noticed Sango there as she looked through the bag… and an angry looking Sango when you're caught off guard doesn't make for a comforting hello.  
  
"I want to know what's going on!" Sango snapped.  
  
  
**2:00 PM**  
  
  
  
"I don't like this." Sango stretched the packing tape over the box flaps. "It feels like you're running away."  
  
"I'm not." Kagome said and ripped another piece of tape.  
  
"What do you call it then?" Sango said and stretched out another long piece of the clear tape. She had snapped with a little more venom than she had intended the tape curling around itself and around her hand wasn't improving her mood any. She swore under her breath and detangled herself before going to get another piece of tape… this time much more gentle.  
  
Kagome paused after she sealed the box in front of her. "Going back where I belong." She said after a few moments and grabbed another box filled to the brim with random knick-knacks. So she wasn't the most organized of packers. Everything would end up coming out of the boxes eventually and she'd just sort them out when she got back home.  
  
"You belong here." Sango said. "You have a home. You have a job. You have friends." She pushed the box aside forcefully and grabbed another. "You have me!" She yanked the tape and got her hand tangled again and swore louder than before as she flung the demonic roll of sticky to the other side of the room.  
  
"I'll miss you, Sango…" Kagome said meekly. "So much…"  
  
"You wouldn't have to if you didn't leave." Her hair was falling in front of her eyes and hid her face.   
  
"I have to." She whispered. "I just can't stay here any more."   
  
"Just because of him?"  
  
"No…" Kagome tugged at her necklace. "Yes… I don't know. I just know I need to be home."  
  
"Kagome, it's one thing to be homesick," Sango said gently, "but don't let him make you run away."  
  
She reached and grabbed Sango's hand and forced her friend to look her in the eyes. "I'm not running away Sango. I'm just doing what's best for everyone."  
  
Sango gave her hand a squeeze and forced a crooked smile. _'You're lying.' _she thought.  
  
"Now come on." Kagome said with a bigger smile and shoved herself to her feet. "Let's go get your sublease stuff done. No more sleeping in your kitchen, huh?"  
  
"Hey! Those counters aren't so bad once you get used to it." Sango laughed and took Kagome's offered hand and watched her roll her eyes.  
  
"I'm just glad I don't have to deal with legalities of that. I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to habitat your kitchen."   
  
"I pay rent either way." She grumbled half-heartedly, but she stopped in her tracks as she glanced down into an open box. "Now this is cute..."   
  
Kagome looked up to see Sango grinning over a box. She glanced up with a mischievous gleam in her eyes and pulled an old wooden boomerang with sloppy painted yellow letters. "How cute! _ 'Come back to us, Kagome. Love Sota and Shippo'_ It's so sweet… I may cry." Actually, she was giggling between every word.  
  
"It' was a going away present…" Kagome growled out.  
  
"So if I send you a little boomerang in Japan, will that make you come all the way back here to me?" Sango grinned.  
  
A playful smile spread over Kagome's lips, so much that her eyes and nose crinkled along with her grin. "I don't think you'll have much of a problem missing me, Sango." She teased and grew smug with her friend's confused expression. "You'll be so tangled up with Miroku to really even notice." She laughed and flashed her eyebrows with a suggestion that made Sango's cheeks flare up.  
  
"Ah!" Sango yelled out and tossed the gift boomerang at a laughing Kagome. It missed target but sailed back toward her hand to an easy catch. "Get back here!!!" She yelled and held the boomerang over her hand as she tore through the apartment chasing her mirthful best friend.  
  
  
** 8:00 PM**  
  
  
  
"I'll meet you here to take you to the airport. Get some sleep!" Sango called from the door and walked sadly down the stairs. Put off the final goodbyes until she was in some public place and less likely to cry like a moron. Good plan.  
  
"Excuse me…" She muttered as she bumped shoulders with a woman in the doorway. She held the door open as the lady entered and then let it fall shut behind her. She turned down the dimming streets back towards her Sengoku Jidai. Only a few more nights of sleeping in her kitchen… she wished it would be more.  
  
The lady smiled slightly at her luck. That woman had just happened to be leaving as she approached the apartment building and she had been able to slip in as she exited. She climbed slowly up the stairs and caught sight of a name plate outside one of the doors: Kagome Higurashi.   
  
The door was even cracked open. She pushed it slightly further to peek inside. Kagome was in the other room, the kitchen she decided it had to be. She had her back turned to the door and was bending over a sink, humming quietly to herself. The woman couldn't help noticing that she seemed very lovely, in an innocent childish way. She gave a quick knock and pushed the door open fully and slid inside  
  
"Back so soon?" Kagome's voice rang out and she stepped from the kitchen with a dish towel in her hands.  
  
Oh!" Kagome stopped in her tracks and paled slightly as recognition dawned over her.   
  
"Hello." Kikyo said slowly and carefully. "You're Kagome, right? My name is Kikyo… I am Inuyasha's wife."  
  
"Yes… of course… I…" Kagome stammered. "I've met you before, once or twice… I… won't you sit down?" she shook herself quickly and gestured to her living room. Kikyo nodded to her and moved gracefully to her couch. She followed quickly, wiping dish suds from her hands and then flinging the towel out of sight. She sat with Kikyo, far enough away to satisfy her own comfort, and trying to match the other woman's posture, finding the poise of just her way of sitting a little hard to imitate.  
  
"Can I offer you anything?" Kagome asked quietly. "Coffee? Tea?"   
  
"Why don't you just ask me why I've come here?" Kikyo interrupted. "What I want?"  
  
"Well… I…" Kagome rambled uncomfortably and fidgeted with the chain around her neck. Of course that's what she wanted to know, but how could she possibly be rude in any way to this woman after… after everything?  
  
"I've known about you for a while now." Kikyo kept her voice calm and even as she studied Kagome's every move, which was a lot to observe. This woman was too expressive for her own good. Had she not ever had to hide her heartaches from the world? "Tell me, what exactly is your relationship to Inuyasha?"  
  
"I…" Kagome's voice cracked and she looked away quickly. "There is no relationship. There never was."   
  
Kikyo nodded softly at this and looked away from Kagome. Her eyes swept over the apartment, stripped bare now and all the warmth packed away in boxes. She couldn't help but wonder what Kagome's home would have been like if she'd seen it all put together. Sweet and innocent? Hopeful and idealistic? Haphazard and chaotic and adventuresome? This girl, she couldn't be much younger than herself, but Kikyo knew that in the heart, this woman would never be as old as she was, and she wished she could once more have the kind of youth and hope she saw in this Kagome her Inuyasha loved.  
  
"I don't believe you…" Kikyo whispered. "I know there is, even if it only from his side. He loves you."   
  
"Wha-no… you must be wrong." Kagome said hurriedly. "No… I at least can say I understand him better than anyone else in the world…" Kikyo smiled sadly, "and I know him well enough to see… he loves you for what you have… I can never be."  
  
"What is that?" Kagome asked.  
  
"Hope." She stated simply. "He can't have that with me. And I think he knew he never could… I should have seen it when he first told me of you. But I didn't want to see… I loved him too much and I couldn't see."  
  
"I don't think I understand…" Kagome started.  
  
"I can never have children." She said with neither warmth nor coldness. Just neutral and nothingness… It baffled Kagome. "He can never have the family he needs… he can never give his love to anyone. He already could not give it to you. It's suffocating him… I know it is."  
  
"Kikyo…" Kagome's eyes darted around. Somehow she didn't feel comfortable looking the wronged woman in the eyes. "I know you would have no reason to listen to anything I say, but I honestly never wanted to cause you any pain." She focused on Kikyo's feet. "I truly am very sorry. I…"   
  
"Do you love him?" Kikyo cut her off.  
  
Kagome's voice began to break and risked a glace to Kikyo as she moved to seat herself. "I never wanted to fall in love with him." She almost whimpered and turned the stone over and over in her hands as she looked down into her lap, the floor, that coffee spot on the wall she had forgotten was there, anywhere but Kikyo. "I tried so hard not to."  
  
"Kikyo, you don't have to worry about anything. I won't step in your relationship with him…" Kagome forced herself to look Kikyo in the eyes and silently begged the wronged woman to believe her. "I'm going back home to Japan, Kikyo. Neither you or Inuyasha will ever hear from me again."  
  
A small smile on Kikyo's lips surprised the Kagome, who was fighting so hard to keep herself composed. "We have some common ground." Kikyo murmured, "We both love the same man and neither of us can have what we want." She chuckled sadly. "It's funny how cruel love can be to women."  
  
"What do you mean?" Kagome asked gently.  
  
"I want his love, but I have what is left." She spoke with taint bitterness. "You have that love, but he cannot give himself to you."  
  
Kagome shook her head with passion. "You're wrong, Kikyo." She said with firmness she had not yet had the courage to use. "He loves you more than you're giving him credit for. If he didn't, he wouldn't care so much about being faithful and loyal to you." She actually smiled to Kikyo as she put her spirit behind her words. "The only thing he's ever cared about is protecting you and trying to make you happy." She wiped away a tickle on her cheek-when had she started to tear up again? That was all she seemed to be doing lately.   
  
"He must truly love you, Kikyo." She wiped her cheeks fiercely. Damn! Why couldn't she keep it together for anything? She must look like such a total idiot to this woman. While she tired to be strong and supportive to make Kikyo understand she didn't have to doubt Inuyasha, she starts crying like a child.   
  
"And you're wrong about the other part." She just forced herself to continue. If she couldn't get this out with dignity, she'd just settle for getting it out. "I don't have Inuyasha's love, because love must be given willingly. He would never betray you by giving his love to someone… not when it would hurt you."  
  
Kikyo sat and stared at her for a few moments. She spoke so passionately… so honestly… she even cried at her own words. She actually meant every thing she had just said, but above all of that, one unspoken truth just radiated-Kagome loved him. Maybe even more than she ever had.  
  
"I think I understand now." Kikyo whispered and pushed herself up from the couch. Kagome stood as well, but once again at a loss for what to say. What would the appropriate farewell be in a situation like this? 'Pleased to meet you…' Definitely not. 'Thanks for stopping by…' No way! 'I hope you and your husband who I'm still in love with work everything out…' Probably the best way to get herself thrown down a flight of stairs.  
  
"Good luck, Miss Higurashi." Kikyo said firmly at the door.  
  
"Th… Thank you…." Kagome muttered as Kikyo turned her back and walked through her door. She moved across the room and braced herself against the wood. _'Whoa…'_ she thought and turned the lock. No sense surprising herself with any more guests just dropping in. _'That was intense.'_  
  
She looked around her boxed up home of the last five years. Everything she had surrounded herself with to make her feel comforted and welcome in a strange new world was locked away from sight, leaving an eerie and lonely air surrounding her. It didn't help her to shake off the horribly dirty feeling like she was some little whore either and she shivered involuntarily. _'Why do I feel so guilty now?! I'm doing everything I can.'_ She rubbed her arms to stop the shudder. _'I'll make it right soon. I'll be far away and I won't be bothering them anymore. I'll make it right for her… It's the least I can do.' _  
  
She couldn't shake the consuming pity she had felt for the woman. And to make it even more disturbing, she felt like she understood her. Like it or not, she had had some connection with Kikyo that would remain unspoken and unexplored, but in all truth, the two women did have some common ground. There was no way Kagome could bring herself to hate or even be angry with Kikyo. Honestly… what woman could blame another woman for loving the same man she did?  
  
She gave a sigh and fixed her eyes on the telephone across the room. Everything packed… there was no putting it off any longer…  
  
But she sure didn't want to do this…  
  
_'Damn…'_ Nothing else was left but to make the hardest phone call of her life.  
  
"Hi… Mom?"  
  
  
**10:00 PM**  
  
  
  
He opened the door quietly and slipped inside. If Kikyo was sleeping, such a rare and fragile state lately, he didn't want to risk waking her. Poor Kikyo… lately it seemed like just his presence made her condition worse, so he had taken to working later hours to try to make her more comfortable. He didn't understand how this would fix the problem, but it seemed to be helping at least a little bit and for that he was thankful. But he couldn't help being hurt and resentful. He made things worse just by being there… why was he here at all?  
  
It was best not to think those kinds of thoughts, he thought with sadness and stepped into the house. He let the door slide from his hands gently as he turned, but found he wasn't alone as expected. A few feet away, Kikyo stood in front of the stair case, on her feet with false strength, and staring him down like an animal being hunted. The door hit the latch, but didn't catch, and rebounded open slightly.  
  
"I made a decision today, Inuyasha." Her voice was low and calm. She kept her eyes still on his face, like she was trying to drive him into the ground with her gaze. "I met your Kagome."  
  
"You did what?!" he took a step forward, but she backed away just as quickly. "Kikyo, why would you…"  
  
"You have a choice to make." She cut him off. "Think about it, Inuyasha. You've only just walked through this door; it's not even closed. How easy would it be to turn around and run right back out of it. How easy would it be, if you choose, to go running to her?"  
  
"What are you talking about, Kikyo?"  
  
"If you stay here, it is very likely that you will never see Kagome again. That hurts you doesn't it." She watched his eyes for the answers she already knew. She saw him flinch ever so slightly as he fought his conflicting emotions. "You have to ask yourself just what this girl means to you. Is she more important to you than I am?"  
  
She watched his fists clench at his sides.   
  
"How important is your promise you keep swearing to?" Kikyo strained to keep her voice even. "If you go, you will be breaking it. You've sworn to me that you would be faithful, so now what will you do? Will you break fidelity to me, knowing that if you don't you will lose her forever?"  
  
"Kikyo…" his voice was weary and strained. Was she actually trying to hurt him? "I think I've made it clear by now. I won't walk out on you." He watched her face for any display of emotion. When had Kikyo become so efficient at masking what she felt? Had he just missed her retreat into herself or had it all happened at once? He had no clue and that was just as frustrating. "Don't push me away, Kikyo. I won't break my promise to you."  
  
He grabbed the handle of the door and soundly pushed it shut.  
  
  
  


_ ***  
  
So don't expect me to just walk out of the door  
I still love her, but I love you more   
***  
  
_

**Next Chapter:** No Such Thing as Happy Endings  
  



	7. No Such Thing as Happy Endings

**Author's Notes:** Ok guys… I told you I'm an avid supporter of the Inu/Kag love foundation… I won't tell you what's going on… but please… have some faith in me. Anyway, I'm all up in training my freshmen to do my bidding. I'll have them out as quickly as possible.  
  
**The low down:** Only one chapter left? Oh how will I make it end? Hehehe, you'll just have to wait. This one's going to be a little shorter… In case you're wondering what the freaking crap takes me so long to update now… here's a little list.  
  
1)Studying… I do this occasionally…  
2)Volunteering… at the local rehabilitation center.  
3)Date/Going out… It happens people! But the random going out to clubs happens more. ^_~  
4)Socially inebriated… naturally… I don't really write when I'm in this state. But wouldn't it be funny if I did? Remember kids… alcohol is baaaaaaaaad…. Yeah…  
  
I know you don't care… I wouldn't either… but it sounded funny in my head and you see the little pen name up top? ^_^ That means I can be as dumb and corny in these little author's notes as I want. 

  
  
**Love and Marriage  
  
Chapter 7  
  
No Such Thing as Happy Endings  
  
**   
  
"Kikyo…" his voice was weary and strained. Was she actually trying to hurt him? "I think I've made it clear by now. I won't walk out on you." He watched her face for any display of emotion. When had Kikyo become so efficient at masking what she felt? Had he just missed her retreat into herself or had it all happened at once? He had no clue and that was just as frustrating. "Don't push me away, Kikyo. I won't break my promise to you."  
  
He grabbed the handle of the door and soundly pushed it shut.  
  
***  


**10:00 AM**  
  


Airports can be so frightening. All around, there are people rushing to get where they need to be and so desperate that friendliness is long forgotten in the stampede. Guards are everywhere looking ferocious and just waiting for someone suspicious. Metal detectors, random searches, long lines, and annoyed faces everywhere she looked. Airports made Kagome nervous.  
  
She checked the screens for her flight status. On time to depart at noon, should everything go smoothly. And so far it had. With one little phone call the night before, she had put her entire family in a happy frenzy. Sota and Grandpa were apparently already moving boxes upon boxes of spiritual scrolls and charms from her room. While the two men of the house did the cleaning, her mother filled herself in to some details using that mother mind meld trick that seemed to be a universal maternal trait. Kagome had braced herself for screaming, lecturing, disownment, all the usual things a girl would expect for telling her mother that she had single handedly come between a man and his wife.  
  
Another constant maternal trait is that no matter what the circumstance, they will shock their daughters senseless.  
  
She had actually asked if she actually thought that leaving was the best solution. She said the same thing as Sango! _ 'Don't let a man make you run away from life.'_ She wasn't angry…   
  
She didn't hate her…  
  
She didn't think she was a terrible daughter…  
  
She was just _Mom_ about it…  
  
Kagome cracked a smile at the receptionist behind the baggage checking station in the memory. Not that smiles will get you anywhere in an airport, but sometimes, a girl just can't hold it in.  
  
"Two more hours…" Sango said sadly. "Are you sure you don't want me to wait with you?"  
  
Kagome patted her arm affectionately and smiled. "I told you that's not necessary. I am a big girl, Sango, and you've all ready done enough by just driving me here and saving me the headache of a cab."  
  
She pulled her into a warm hug for probably the last time. Sure friends parted will write letters, make phone calls, rely on emails, but such things only stay true for a while. After all, time makes the heart grow forgetful. Kagome thought off the fun she and Sango had had, and how dear this woman was to her heart, and she hated the thought that with distance, they would grow apart. But that's life isn't it? People will come into your life and you'll care for them with all your heart, but they can't stay there forever, right? That was just the way the world worked… she thought…  
  
"Besides," she pulled away and grinned up at Sango's face. "You have a date this afternoon. I wouldn't want you being late…" She gave a wink.  
  
Sango slapped her forehead and burst out "Oh!" But as Kagome started laughing, she soon found herself joining in. "I forgot all about that lech!" She giggled.  
  
"Now, now…" Kagome said, "That's no way to talk about the man you love." She laughed lightly and spontaneously grabbed Sango's hand. "How are you ever going to handle keeping a boyfriend without me to keep track of your dates?" She said.  
  
Sango squeezed her hand gently and wiped some hair from her face. Kagome began to notice she was making a lot of little gestures at her face. Wiping at invisible strands of hair in her eyes, smoothing an eyebrow that had no need of it… oh no! She saw a glisten!  
  
"I really don't know…" Sango's voice broke as moisture built up and shook against the brown of her eyes.  
  
"Oh Sango please don't!" Kagome said. "Please don't cry! You know if do, then I'm just going to start and then we'll both just be a couple of wailing idiots in the middle of an airport attracting stares."  
  
Sango couldn't help laughing at that image and leaned on Kagome in a slightly tearful embrace. "I'll miss you. And I'll personally go and kick Inuyasha in the groin."  
  
Kagome laughed and hugged her back. "Have fun. But there's no need for it. Inuyasha is a thing of the past. He's out of my life, and I plan on keeping it that way."   
  
She pulled away and gave Sango's hand one last squeeze. "I'll miss you too, Sango. But believe me, I won't be missing Inuyasha."   
  
Sango gave a smile to keep from a defense she knew was false. She watched as Kagome entered the terminal where she could not go and slowly disappeared from her life.  
  
"That's no way to talk about the man you love…" Sango whispered to Kagome's back as she walked away. She shook her head once and dug in her purse for her car keys.  
  
  


**11:30 AM**  
  


"So there's this old woman who wants to turn her community's church into a historic memorial to preserve it." Miroku said while leafing through letters and legal documents. "It's a simple case, but it may be a bit messy on my end… but when does that really sway you?"  
  
Inuyasha absently flicked the swinging balls on his desk toy so it clacked into the other ball and sent it flying higher than usual. He tapped it as it came back around and the ball flew in an arc and tangled in the strings of the other. He sighed and rolled around in his chair to the window without really caring. It was a dumb toy any way.  
  
Miroku glared at the back of Inuyasha's head and gave a tight frown. He hated when his partner wasn't paying attention to him when he was talking about a new project. "Ms. Kaede is very concerned for the welfare of her community and is quite compliant with any measures that will ensure the preservation of the church. And truthfully, we could use the good public relations. You don't exactly hold well with the press…"  
  
Miroku gripped his pen when he still got no answer. He'd have to play a little dirty…  
  
"And I could always contact Kouga to hype it up. The basic outcry to the public to stop the evils of production from destroying patriarchal society. As long as we don't include you too much in it, he should be all too happy to take up the story. There's so much potential…"  
  
"We're not going to that bastard for anything!" Inuyasha flung around in his chair and gave a glare that promised pain… and a lot of it.  
  
Miroku looked at him blankly and wondered why he even bothered coming to work some days. If the only way to get his partner's attention was to blatantly stoke his anger, he'd do better sitting at home hanging out with Count Chocula and Bob Barker.  
  
"Look!" Miroku stood and slapped down hard on the desk. No way he could stand putting up with this childish crap when it came in the way of business. "If you don't…"   
  
His rant was cut short as a sharp knock pounded on the door. They called the person in and a man wearing too nice a suit for a delivery boy walked to the desk, depositing a manila folder in front of Inuyasha.  
  
"You're Inuyasha?" he asked stiffly while the referred nodded dumbly. "Sign here please." And he held out a clipboard saying the delivery was made.  
  
"What is this?" Miroku asked while his friend signed for the confusing folder.  
  
"Bill of divorcement." He said stiffly. "Deepest condolences." Miroku looked at him incredulously. Sure didn't sound like any condolence he'd ever heard… definitely a lawyer.  
  
Inuyasha was much less analytical about the man making the delivery.   
  
Throughout the building, secretaries, janitors, and copy boys stopped in shock of the word that echoed down the halls and offended the ears.  
  


**12:00 PM**  
  


She walked slowly up the long and narrow tube, glancing back over her shoulder into the airport terminal. Last chance, Kagome, this was her last chance to turn around.   
  
She pulled her carry on further up on her shoulder and walked into the plane.   
  
_'So this is it...'_ she thought as she walked the isle. _'This is the end of one era in my life.'_ She sat by the window and watched the men bring the baggage cars under the plane. She absently played with the jewel at her neck. Her thoughts wandered with their own will, to the man she was leaving behind, curiously wondering what he would do now without her as a problem. What would his life hold now?   
  
Whatever it was, she hoped he was happy.  
  


**12:00 PM… elsewhere**  
  


Inuyasha was pissed. Not just pissed, red-eyed, soul snapping, raging animal out for blood, pissed. "Kikyo!" he screamed and threw the heavy door open with a nerve rattling jolt. "Kikyo! Where are you?!"  
  
"You're earlier than I thought." An unfittingly calm voice spoke from his side. He found Kikyo, sitting straight at the dining room table, a legal folder opened in front of her, and a disturbingly resolute gleam in her eye. He would have been nervous at her unnatural amount of tranquility given their current situation… that is if he wasn't so blindingly angry.  
  
"Kikyo," he gritted out. "What is the meaning of this?" He flung the papers he had been delivered on the table right on top of her own copy.  
  
"This is me waking up." She said. "I don't want to pretend any more."  
  
If she was hoping to appeal to his emotions, it didn't work out too well. He was huffing with un-vented anger. After everything he had suffered beating himself up emotionally, she just thought she could do something like this without even giving him the satisfaction of telling him to his face? "What do you mean pretend?" He growled.  
  
"I once envisioned this perfect life for us." She said, looking down at the table now. "I guess none of it turned out how I planned. I don't want to go on pretending that there's any chance it ever will."  
  
"Why now?!" he screamed. "Why fucking now, Kikyo? And why not to my face? You had to just drop this on me out of the blue. I've been going insane not knowing how to help you, but you can't even tell me this to my face."  
  
"I realized something." She looked up again with an expression he wasn't sure how to classify, but she sure wasn't responding how he thought she would.: no screaming, no crying, just calm. He wanted to start yelling again just to try to make it seem normal again. He wanted to scream about why she wasn't answering his questions. "The baby did it all." She said.  
  
He shut up.  
  
"You were so happy, Inuyasha." She continued with a soft smile. "For a while, I thought my own heart would burst from the joy. We were finally happy. Finally something to look forward to together. But I realized something… you were happy because you needed someone to love."  
  
Some invisible force in the universe just punched him in the stomach.  
  
"I realized, you couldn't love me, so if you loved a child that belonged to us, you could be satisfied. It would have bound us together so much more powerfully that a ring."  
  
He saw her fidgeting with something on the table's edge. He caught a faint sliver of gold between her fingers as she twirled it in her palm. Kikyo had removed her wedding ring. He cast an involuntary glance down to his own left hand.  
  
"I guess it was a sign." She said so low he strained to catch the words. "A child should be a symbol of love between two people who want to bring life into the world." She caught his eyes meaningfully. "Not a means of entrapment."  
  
A single tear finally gave away her emotions as she looked into his eyes. "Maybe it's a sign, I was never meant to be a mother, because I can never love another man, and you can't be forced to love me."  
  
If Inuyasha had ever been angry, he didn't remember it with the sudden rush of shame that flooded his mind. He was at her side in a second, pulling her into his arms and allowing her to release long pent up tears into his shoulder. There was nothing for him to do in all the world but hold this crying woman, wronged in so many ways in her life, and stroke her hair, whispering comforts to her, any thing that might soothe her broken heart.  
  
She cried quietly as he held her. Her shoulders moved sharply, as she tried still to hold in the emotions and he marveled at her. Even now, she was guarded. She should be sobbing like an idiot: complete with loud wails, pathetic shaking, and snot on his shirt.   
  
Kikyo rarely cried. And even that was controlled.  
  
"I wouldn't have left, Kikyo." He whispered. "We could always have tried again. I would have been faithful. I swear, the entire time, I never once meant to hurt you. All I ever remember is wanting to protect you."   
  
He pulled her face away from his shoulder to look in her eyes. "I guess that's love in its own way, right? I cared about you, Kikyo, deeply, but I don't know what's wrong. I would have just believed that love didn't exist and what we had was the closest thing anyone could ever get."   
  
She brought her hand up to hold his cheek. "Until Kagome…" she stopped his speech. The shocked expression she got was enough to give her a small smile. "I know, Inuyasha. I've known longer than I've wanted to admit it. From the beginning." Kikyo sighed and shook her head sadly. "I always pretended that she wasn't real. That you didn't really love her and she didn't have any hold over your heart. I told myself, if I loved you enough, that would be all that mattered. It might be obligation at first, but I was so sure over time, you would come to feel the same. It might have happened that way, had she not come along. If she had never been there, there wouldn't be anyone else you would have placed in your heart."  
  
"I'm sorry, Kikyo." He said.  
  
She shook her head again. "I guess I just wanted it too badly."  
  
They stayed silent for uncounted moments, just collecting their thoughts. Each letting memories flow across their minds and wondering just what the future might hold now. They shared so much common history. Was it the wisest thing to throw that away? They had to wonder.  
  
"Kikyo," he said. "Are you sure this is what you want."  
  
So this was what a last chance felt like. Kikyo looked into his eyes searching for any reason to say no and hold on to him. It was so hard, letting go. It would just be so easy to keep him by her side. She'd have him, and that was what she wanted. But it would be for an oath… he would not want to be with her. He would do what ever she wanted of him… but in reality, that's not how she wanted her life to be.  
  
"You aren't able to do what I truly want of you, Inuyasha." She said weakly. "Please just sign the papers."  
  
She couldn't watch as he took the pen in his hand, so she turned her back to the table.  
  
"So what happens now?" a gentle voice spoke behind her.  
  
He watched her turn with an expression he had not seen on her face in far too long. She was smiling gently, a sad smile, but true. Her eyes, although tearing, had a look of relief to them that calmed his spirit more than any other force in the universe would be capable of doing. She stepped close to him and took his hand in her own.  
  
She leaned up and caught his lips in a gentle kiss. "Goodbye." She whispered and looked down at his hand, at the pale gold band around his finger. She caught the ring and slipped it slowly away. "You're free now…" she said as the tears started to flow.  
  
He caught and held her in reflex as she cried.  
  
"I was good to you, wasn't I?" She asked and looked up into his eyes like she wasn't quite sure of that statement any more.  
  
"Yes." He gently wiped a tear away from her cheek. "Yes, you always were."  
  


**12:00 AM**  
  


"Please! Can we stop for the night?" a whiney voice called from behind a massive cardboard box.   
  
Sango looked around the room, calculating how many more cubes of cardboard she could cram in the living area before she'd have to learn to fly. Miroku dropped the heavy package on the ground and plopped on the pile he had assembled to look like a sofa. Ahh… he knew all those childhood hours playing with legos would eventually pay off.  
  
"I guess that's enough for today." Sango said hesitantly. So much of her personal belongings still littered her kitchen cabinets all through the restaurant. The cooks didn't particularly appreciate that little fact.  
  
"How can you have so much stuff." Miroku moaned. "Didn't I carry enough to fill this whole building a week ago?"  
  
"Stop whining. You volunteered for this." She smirked down at him.  
  
"Where do you find room to put all this?" he said and wiped his brow dramatically.  
  
"I have my ways." She grinned.  
  
Miroku was busy having a conversation with himself along the lines of _'That should not be a turn on…' _so he didn't immediately notice Sango's mood take a much more somber tone as she looked around the apartment. Things would soon look so different from how they had when Kagome lived there. Sango wondered if perhaps that was the reason she was in so little hurry to unpack everything. Just in case…  
  
"It's going to be so different…" she mused aloud, catching Miroku's attention. He gave a similar look around the room before nodding in understanding.   
  
"Have you heard from her?" He asked.  
  
She nodded and nudged him over on the cardboard couch. "I've talked to her since she got home. She sounded fine, just looking for work again."  
  
He nodded distractedly, thinking instead of his partner's relationship with the absent Kagome. She probably didn't even know Inuyasha had divorced, having finalized it legally only a few days prior. It had been finished from the beginning in every other way except legal. It figured, just as he was free to come to terms with his feelings for the woman, she runs away and Inuyasha didn't have a clue.  
  
"Bah…" he muttered under his breath. "Inuyasha's an idiot."   
  
When he heard his exact words echoed at his side, Miroku whipped his head around in surprise. Sango's brows were lowered as if she was frustrated, and she had just mirrored his sentiments on his friend's intelligence.   
  
"Wait…" he said. "Why do you think he's an idiot?"  
  
Sango flushed at being caught in her mutter and wondered if it was alright to tell Miroku the truth behind Kagome and Inuyasha's past.   
  
"What do you know?" Sango asked just to test the situation.  
  
"That depends." Miroku said just as cautiously. "What do you know?"  
  
They studied each other intensely as if trying to see the information shoot out through the other's eyes. The only information they recieved, however, was that neither was telepathic and the whole ordeal was stupid. Well, Kagome couldn't really run away again. Sango decided she might as well tell her side of the story in order to get the information she wanted.  
  
"She ran away to get away from him." Sango said bitterly. "She felt guilty because he kept coming to her and she was afraid she'd cause his marriage to break and ruin everyone's life."  
  
Miroku slapped his hand over his eyes and groaned.   
  
"What?" Sango said, blinking at him confused.  
  
"They divorced…" Miroku muttered.  
  
Sango gapped at him before she likewise slapped a hand over her face and slumped back against the box furniture. "They're both idiots." She said without malice.   
  
"Agreed." Miroku said in a similar tone.  
  
They sat in mirrored postures for several silent moments. Miroku couldn't help smiling as he thought just how comfortable he was becoming on scrunched cardboard boxes next to Sango. If only his friends would be able to someday have some comfort of their own, that was all he hoped for them. And who knew? Maybe, just maybe, things might just….  
  
"Sango…" Miroku said quietly, "What was that noise."  
  
"Nothing." She said quickly, blushing a little.  
  
A huge, laughing grin took up his entire face. "You did, didn't you?" he said.  
  
"Did what?!" she raised her voice, feigning anger in hopes of getting him to back off the subject. Of course it didn't work.  
  
"You did!" he cried laughing and moved to hug her.  
  
Sango pushed his arms away with a cry and jumped off the boxes. He followed her move and continued to chase her, even as she started screaming at him to get away and ran through the apartment.  
  
Apparently Sango was more comfortable around him than even he had thought.  
  
"Aww!" He laughed at her. "Honey, it's your first fart!"   
  


_ ***  
  
She's been good to me when things weren't going' right.  
She made my days long before you made my nights.  
***  
  
_

**Next Chapter:** Leaving On a Jet Plane  
  
(OH! It's the last one! Gee... I wonder what I'm gonna do... NOT! ^_^)  



	8. Leaving On a Jet Plane

**Author's Notes:** Damn this was long…   


**The Low Down:** Aww… my first venture to Inuyasha… dom… is completed. But other stories are on the way out. Cheyenne's up, and others will… eventually… be coming. Dudes… I'm losing some momentum for the time being. Guess it's school, bonfire, and tooooooooo much drama in the world. My personal motto of the moment, is "Shut up! Stop being stupid! And be happy damn it!" Wonder how well it will catch on. ~_^   


** Love and Marriage  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Leaving On a Jet Plane  
  
**   


Apparently Sango was more comfortable around him than even he had thought.  


"Aww!" He laughed at her. "Honey, it's your first fart!"   


***  


**12:00 PM**  


"Flight 316 now boarding in gate five." The intercom announced in the busy terminal. People pushed and rushed irritably to get in line and get to their seats. Among the bustling crowd, no one paid much attention to the two motionless people staring silently at each other, trying to find the words they felt necessary to say.   


"Do you have everything?" Inuyasha offered lamely. So this was finally it. After a lifetime at his side, Kikyo was leaving him. It was somewhat frightening to think what his life would be like without something he'd been so accustomed to, but he couldn't help noticing he didn't seem as depressed as might be thought proper. Shouldn't he be feeling guilty for that? He sighed and came to the conclusion that with everything that had happened between them, any thing involving Kikyo would invoke him with a sense of guilt.  


"Yes." She smiled to him. "I've got every thing I'm going to need." He smiled back.  


Kikyo: The absolute perfect woman. In the face of all that the universe could throw at her, she stood against it with dignity and strength. And then decides to go off and travel the world, giving medical aide to underprivileged patients in third world countries. Beautiful, brilliant, classic, refined, elegant, and as close to a saint as any one woman could come to be. She was completely extraordinary and had been all her life. Of course the universe would be out to get her.  


"I guess I just wasn't meant to lead an ordinary life and be an ordinary woman." She looked at him through misting eyes.  


"I'm sorry." He looked away. "I promised you I would protect you, and I couldn't even do that right. There were too many things I couldn't or didn't stop that hurt you… I'm sorry I failed as a husband." He felt her hand reach for his and looked back into her eyes. "I…" he stumbled over his words trying to find the right thing to say, "I wish I could have just given you what you needed most."  


"So do I." she whispered and stroked the back of his hand with her thumb. "Even now, all I wish is that I could make you love me and we could be happy." She wasn't surprised to see him turn away once more and down at the floor. "Don't forget about me, Inuyasha." She said quietly, "Please, don't forget that where ever I am in the world, I still love you and I hate the fact that my love won't let me let go."  


"Kikyo," he looked up with surprise of her words, "Not a day will go by that I won't remember you and know the guilt that I failed you. That's one promise I know I will never break."  


"Final boarding call for Flight 316. All passengers please board now." The intercom sounded above them.  


"Goodbye, Inuyasha." Kikyo pulled herself up to give him once last, chaste kiss. She gave him one last sad smile and turned to board her flight.  


"Goodbye." He whispered as she disappeared down the tube.  


He stood in the waiting area, not knowing what to do next. After several minutes, he watched the plane pull away from the building and head out slowly towards the runway. It turned and began to pick up speed, lifting off for a second and dropping down. It lifted a second time and rose steadily higher and farther away. It struck him all at once.  


Kikyo was gone…  


And he was all alone.  


** 5:00 PM **  


"He's still out there?" Miroku asked peering over Sango's shoulder to the street below. The tale-tale silver head pacing the sidewalk below had been humorous for the first few days, but lately, the two were getting slightly annoyed with the indecision of the street walker. It had been ages since Kikyo left, and he had yet to summon the nerve to pay the apartment a visit.  


"Yep…" Sango clipped.  


Miroku sighed. "Still hasn't buzzed?"  


"Nope." Sango shook her head.   


They stopped momentarily as Inuyasha suddenly seemed to make up his mind, and walked determinedly to the building side. He lifted his hand, ready to punch the intercom. But he backed away.  


The pair gave twin sighs and slumped back on the window sill.   


"How many times was that?" Sango muttered.  


"I lost count two weeks ago." Miroku said.  


** 11:00 AM**  


Inuyasha flicked absently at the desk toy, sending the pendulous metal balls bouncing off to different angels and tangling in each other's cords. Such a familiar withdrawn habit in the eyes of his business partner, who again was watching him with guarded impatience. If Miroku kept this up, he decided he would start conducting all business via intercom, just to keep from facing that smug, 'I'm about to break and tell your how stupid you are if I don't break your head open first' stare.  


Ok… he needed something, anything, to get the attention off of him. What would do it? What the crap had Miroku been doing lately? Actually, what had he been supposed to be working on? Was there even a point to him showing up to work? Miroku took care of it all lately anyway.  


"Hey Miroku," Inuyasha settled on the oh-so-obvious-of-course-he-missed-it topic of work to serve his distraction purposes, "What's your status with that latest project?"  


"The one I told you about six months ago?" Miroku said with raised eyebrow. "Little old lady trying to save her community through a church about to be closed down? The one you weren't listening to when I told you about it?"  


"Yeah…" Inuyasha muttered a little deflated.   


"I closed everything two months ago." Miroku said. His eyes bored into his partner and it was apparent he was fighting diligently against some deep rooted desire to tell him off.  


"Um… well," Inuyasha muttered, postponing the inevitable as long as humanly possible. "How did it go?"  


"Very well." Miroku said and twisted his pen between fingers casually. "We saved the community, they were grateful, we made the covers of the newspapers… or I did, I didn't think it wise to allow you to speak to the press, got the story in magazines."   


"Magazines?" Inuyasha popped up, a slight look of disgust gracing his lips.   


"Oh yeah," Miroku smiled lazily. "Kouga was most cooperative. I guess he just wanted to help a friend of Kagome's." This was playing dirty… again… and Miroku knew it, but when it came to getting any kind of reaction out of Inuyasha, as-of-late, it seemed to be a necessary evil.   


It was definitely underhanded and cruel, but it got the job done. Inuyasha went from a sour-faced, petulant child, to a guilt trodden and beaten pup with the mention of one name. He was on the right track emotionally, but still not talking. But he was close, a couple more good shoves, and he'd be done.  


"Kouga does just about whatever we want, for the sake of Kagome. It's moving actually." Miroku cracked an eye open with mischievous pride. "From what I heard from Sango, he actually got up his nerve to propose."   


Still… not a lie.   


Inuyasha erupted. The time that elapsed between the color draining completely from his face and then being replaced with bright, glowing crimson couldn't even be calculated by NASA engineers. He puffed. He fumed. He rumbled.   


He exploded.  


In the wake of mass destruction, mail boys grabbed at their airborne papers and secretaries pulled themselves up off the floor and straightened their glasses. Overturned file cabinets and cubicle walls littered the floor, leading all the way to the elevators. Miroku calmly observed the chaos like a god on high, watching the plight of the mortals having to endure his will.   


"Well… that worked." He smiled to himself and casually hit the speed dial on his cellular phone. "Hey, Sango." He grinned, "Mission Kick-In-The-Pants is on the move. He's coming your way."   


His eyebrows flashed as thought suddenly affronted.   


"It is not a stupid name!" he said indignantly.  


** 12:00 PM**  


With a buzz, the main door opened and Inuyasha burst into the building.  


He practically flew up the stairs, taking the corners with only his arm on the railing to keep him from flying off on tangent. He moved with an urgency never before realized in his natural born life. His heart was beating so hard against his chest it threatened to simply burst from the strain, but he couldn't slow down, not even for a second, imagining in just that one instant, he would be too late… again.  


He had flown from his own building and waited for a cab all of ten seconds before concluding that he'd get there faster if he forgot about fighting traffic and just sprinted across the city himself. He'd barreled through streets, not waiting for the traffic signals and dodged in and out of traffic with an adrenaline induced agility normally known to those only on the verge of death. It sure felt that way to him; if he didn't get to her in time, he might just die from it.  


Life can change in a splintered second, as he had witnessed too many times, and he wasn't about to take time for granted now. Not one billionth of a second could he waste this time, unless he just wanted to tempt the universe into screwing up his world all over again.   


He had to tell her the truth. He had to hell her not to marry Kouga. He could already picture her: eyes shining with confusion, her brows drawn cutely together, and her teeth biting down on her bottom lip, looking up at him like he was insane. For all practical purposes, he probably was, but sanity aside, he had to tell her. He'd make every promise known to man, and spend the rest of his life trying to keep them, if only she didn't marry Kouga.  


He had to tell her he loved her. It was the only thing that might be able to stop her if he got to her in time.  


Oh how he hoped he wasn't too late.  


He threw himself up off the stairs and bolted down the hall to her door. Inuyasha barely caught a breath before he was beating on the wood with both fists, supporting himself by his elbows in the frame. He closed his eyes, trying to pull in frantic gasps and call out to her all at once. Suddenly, he felt the door open from beneath his fists and he burst into his speech.  


"Kagome." He panted leaning over his knees and pulling in the precious oxygen. "Listen to me. You can't marry Kouga. Please, you just can't…" He glanced down at a pair of beat up tennis shoes…and hesitated. Those seemed very un-Kagome… she always seemed to wear those girly, strappy sandals or polished boots, or heels that seemed like they should snap her ankles in two. Not tennis shoes with rubber toes pulling away from the leather from over wear.  


"Thank you for the concern." A deeper than Kagome's voice sounded above his puzzled head. He shot up and found himself eye-to-eye with a very amused, not Kagome's face.   


Sango smirked as his eyes darted around helplessly, looking over her shoulder for the misplaced woman of topic. "She's not here." She said to calm his search.  


"Where…" he began in bewilderment.   


"Home." She said simply. "She went back to Japan."  


"Wh…" he took a step back. "When?"   


"Several months ago." She said, keeping emotion out of her voice.  


"Why didn't you tell me?!" Inuyasha screamed, not bothering to hide his emotions.  


"Why didn't you come find her sooner?" Sango replied unfazed.   


He didn't answer her. He just looked at her as though waking up from a wonderful dream only to find out that he was actually living the nightmare. His eyes glazed as the emotion drained from his face and he stood in a daze on the door step. Then without any further word, he stepped back and walked down the hall.   


Sango heard the door down the stairs swing open and closed and gave a soft sigh. She shook herself out of it quickly though and went to grab her keys. Miroku was waiting for her, as according to plan, and she knew it would only be a matter of time before Inuyasha moped his way back to his house.  


That look on his face was enough to make her want to reach out and tell him every part of their plan, if only to ease the soul-shattering pain that shone through in his eyes, but she had stopped herself. If he was ever going to get this right, he needed to know how it felt. He needed to know the feeling of losing all the hopes you built up for yourself.   


It would make him appreciate if the hopes ever came true.  


Sango got a smug little grin at her line of thinking and little images of her best friend's past matchmaking maneuvers flashed through her mind. Kagome had unwittingly been her greatest teacher in the arts of getting relationships on the right track. Sango smiled thinking that if Kagome had known what her matchmaking was about to cause to her own life, if she wouldn't maybe have saved her effort.  


_'Payback's a bitch, Kagome.' _Sango thought ruefully and locked the door.  


**8:00 PM**  


He sighed and pulled the door closed behind him, leaning back and resting his head against the wood. He really was alone now, completely. At least during these last few months, he entertained the thought that Kagome would be there and that there was a chance…   


It had been a nice thought while it lasted.  


"What took you so long?" Inuyasha jumped to attention with a gasp and looked up with wide eyes. Two twin grins were smirking at him and sitting on the bottom stair, Miroku holding a suitcase in front of him. "We've been waiting on your for hours."  


"What are you doing here!" he screamed, angry at being surprised.  


"Packing for you." Sango said as thought it were obvious.  


"What?" he yelled again, his bewilderment multiplying in every passing second.   


"And we've got your flight tickets all ready for you." Miroku said beside her. "I was beginning to get afraid you wouldn't show up in time, but you still just might make it."  


"You went through my clothes?!" Inuyasha yelled with an embarrassed flush.   


"We were up to our elbows in your underwear drawer." Sango nodded.  


"She was." Miroku added quickly. "Not my idea of fun."  


Inuyasha looked from one to the other, eyes moving from shock to uncertainty with their teasing. When he cast his eyes down again, they got the feeling he was doing that counter-productive thinking again, and they really couldn't allow that to happen.   


"Just go, Inuyasha!" Miroku shoved the suitcase in his arms. "Don't think. Just go! You only get in trouble when you think."  


He snapped back up, trying to push the suitcase back at Miroku. A shoving match ensued as the unwilling men vied for dominance. With a quick move, Miroku placed his leg behind Inuyasha's knee, sweeping forward and pushing the case back, effectively knocking the other man to the floor. Inuyasha oomphed with the impact, and again and Miroku followed his fall and landed in a kneel on top of the case on his chest. That stupid smirk was as good as an "I win."  


"You're telling me I should just walk out on everything we've made here these past years?" Inuyasha yelled.   


Miroku glanced down at his watch and observed casually, "Actually, you'd do better if you ran." He smiled down into a familiar glare. "Come on, you know I'm right." "So I just show up at her doorstep, she'll accept me with open arms, and we live happily ever after?" Inuyasha said. "Is that how you think this will work?"  


"Not even close!" Miroku scoffed. "But it will work out some how… if she doesn't kill you that is."  


Miroku kept smiling down at him and Inuyasha found himself giving in, like he ever had a chance to do anything else. "This is crazy." He muttered with a sigh.  


"What else is new?" Miroku said.  


"Maybe I'm rushing this." He said, thinking out loud, "It seems disrespectful, so soon after Kikyo…"   


"Inuyasha, this has been postponed for nearly six year." Miroku got up and gave him a hand to stand. "I think you've waited long enough."  


He gave a smile and grabbed the bag from the floor. He may be crazy, but he didn't care any more. His mind was finally set, after so long of being in uncertainty. Sometimes it just takes a friend to smack your head around until it comes to the right conclusion. He turned and ran back to the door, hand on the knob when he heard Sango call out.  


"Inuyasha!" He heard her yell and looked over his shoulder to where she stood. "I just want you to realize one thing."  


"You don't deserve her." She said softly, but not with cruelty or spite. She said it just as if observing a well known fact.  


He was about to defend when Miroku piped up at his side, "No, but he loves her." He gave Inuyasha a smile and pushed him out the door. "And that should make him appreciate it even more."  


** 6:00 PM**  


"Shit!" a scream echoed through the terminal stopping the crowd traffic.  


Inuyasha stood inside the airport lobby with his bag clutched in one hand and a whole lot of people staring at him. Here he was… in an air port… having run from his home to catch the flight at the last possible moment and be cooped up wondering just how she would react to seeing him… and he didn't know where to find her.  


"Fucking shit!" he muttered again and the crowd began to move around him again.   


He slumped back against a wall and slid to the floor. What now… what could he do now? Who would have thought it would be so damn hard just to find the woman he loved?!  


He sighed and looked up at he windows across the terminal. Planes were continually circling the runways, getting up speed and taking off to who knows where. Every passenger was heading off on some adventure on those planes, he thought absently, watching the air crafts gain alititude and disappear behind the sun. The sky was growing pink in the beginnings of sunset. It was clear and beautiful.  


He sat watching the sky turn deeper shades of oranges, and the clouds deep shades of violets. It seemed like forever when he had even watched a sun set. Actually, it was pretty close, and he smiled thinking of his last one.  


The sun had been dipping slowly under the water, which in the dying light had seemed like it was on fire. He hadn't intended on showing up at that bridge, but somehow he had, and there he found her.   


That was where she had been sitting, her legs hanging off over the side, scaring him half to death at the thought she might fall, staring out into the sunset and telling him how it always made her feel better when she was lonely and home sick. But she didn't need that anymore now, did she? Instead of just thinking of her home, hidden in the setting sun, she had just run back to it.  


_'Sunset Shrine!'_ He sat straight up as though he had been struck by lightning. A smile spread over his face and he jumped to his feet with new energy. He bolted from his spot and ran from the terminal with disregard to the stares and the unfortunate pedestrians that got in his way.  


He finally knew what to do and couldn't bear wasting any more time.  


** 7:00PM**  


The last crimson beams of day flitted through between walls of the shrine and through the leaves of a great tree, down into Inuyasha's blinking eyes. His bag sat forgotten at his feet as he looked up into the leaves of the massive tree. He absently fingered the small barrier and wondered. Life was strange; that he knew for sure.   


The Sunset Shrine, he looked around his surroundings and found he could easily imagine her growing here. The house, in the distance, was warm and inviting, and as he looked at the cheery windows, he noted that every light must have been on within it.  


_'Definitely the place.'_ He thought with a smirk and turned his attention back to the tree. Inuyasha wasn't exactly sure what was so fascinating about it, maybe just being the largest piece of vegetation he had seen in his life in the middle of one of the most urban environments on the globe, but he couldn't tear himself away from it.  


"It's the God tree." A voice called from behind his shoulder and Inuyasha turned to see an old man absently sweeping the walk-way. "You look like a man in search of something missing in his life." He said with a slight smile. Inuyasha gave him no answer, but the old man simply shrugged and continued, "It is an ancient tree dating back to feudal times. It has quite a legend behind it." Inuyasha wasn't certain he liked the gleam coming from the old man's eye.  


But what the hell…  


"Legend?" he asked and turned his back to the tree. The old man gave him a grin like a kid just getting his favorite toy.  


"Oh yes!" He beamed. "Everything around here has a legend, son. But this tree, it's a story of love and betrayal." He stepped past to the barrier and looked up into the tree.  


"Legend says, there was a demon who loved a shrine maiden." He said with a far off look in his eye. "She could not marry, because it was her duty to protect an ancient jewel of terrible power. But one day, she told the demon she would give him the jewel to use to make himself human and they could live happily together."  


"So what about the tree?" Inuyasha interrupted, curious in spite of himself.  


"Ahh…" the old man nodded sadly. "That is where it went wrong. They were tricked by an evil man who desired the maiden and made to blame the other. The demon stole the jewel away from the maiden, and in her anger, she shot him with an arrow and pinned him to this tree."  


"Nice story, old man." Inuyasha smirked. "Makes me feel all warm inside."  


"Not all stories are happy, young man." He said calmly and resumed his sweeping. "But even sad endings have happy elements. As it is, that jewel which bound the two tragic lovers, it is still in our family today. It was known as the Shikon Jewel, and is passed along to the daughters of our family, to give to the man they love in hopes to make the ending turn out as it should all those years ago."  


Inuyasha watched as the old man walked off slowly, not sparing him another thought as he milled among other visitors to the shrine. _'Shikon...'_ he thought looking back up into the tree. He'd had that jewel for five years, granted she hadn't really given it to him, but perhaps maybe it was the universe trying to atone for some of the evil things it had done to him in the past. And he'd given it back to her...  


He would just have to get it back then.  


He gave a furtive glance around to see if anyone waswatching him and, seeing he was clear, he ducked under the barrier and stepped to the tree.   


It was an odd story, no doubt, and he couldn't help wondering if it had elements of the truth. Of course, all legends had elements of the ridiculous, and demons using a magic jewel to change into a human definitely qualified for that. But still, a story has to start somewhere.   


He glanced at the old man again… and saw him passionately recounting to a crowd of shrine goers the history of an ancient charm to grant love… currently on sale 2 for 1 in the shrine gift shop. _'Then again… maybe not.'_ He thought and shook his head.  


He touched the side and blinked with a sudden need to rest. _'Damn jet lag.'_ He thought absently and fought a yawn. He looked around once more, seeing no one paying attention to him, and sat down, leaning against the tree trunk. He drifted to sleep looking up into its branches.  


** 7:10 PM**  


"So what happened after she pinned him to the tree?" a high chirping voice asked from below the edge of the stairs. A dark head of hair appeared over the ridge, looking down at one yet to scale them all.   


"Well, that's when it gets interesting." Kagome smiled at the small child holding her hand. "You see Shippo, he fell into an enchanted sleep, and he stayed pinned to that tree for fifty years!"  


"Wow!" a little red head bobbed up to the top of the stairs, revealing a little boy with big green eyes, which were currently turned up in unquestioning adoration to the girl holding his little hand. "Then what happened?" he asked, in true little-kid fashion.  


"Well…" Kagome smiled down, and rapidly thought up something to tell the child. It wasn't exactly how the old legend went, but young children are entitled to have their happy endings. They find out much too soon that the world doesn't accommodate that naivety for long. "There was a girl." She said finally, with a sad sort of smile. "She was walking in the forest alone and she was attacked."  


"By who?" he squeaked. Leave it to little boys to like stories of bandits and fighting rather than star crossed lovers and magic spells.   


"Two bad men who were in the forest." She said. "She was very scared, and tried to get away. She found him in the forest and he saved her."  


"But how did he wake up?" Shippo asked.  


"I guess he just knew she needed him." Kagome said. "Maybe they were just supposed to be together, even if only for a little while." She wasn't really paying attention to Shippo any more. "You see, the girl fell in love with the demon boy."   


She looked down again when his had jerked free from her own and she saw him running off to the side.  


"Kagome!" he cried, pointing off to the God Tree. "Look! Kagome, the demon came back!"  


She walked over to the excited child with bemused curiosity, but felt her heart leap up into her throat as when she approached, she saw the profiled form of the man she'd never intended to see again laying asleep against the tree.  


"You should wake him up Kagome!" Shippo said happily. "Then it can be like the story, and you can be together."  


She blushed and took an involuntary step away from the tree. What was he doing here? How did he even know where to find her? These questions and a thousand more all jammed into her mind like rush-hour traffic, making it a little difficult to breathe properly.  


"Shippo, why don't you go see if Mama has dinner ready." She said quietly.  


"You're gonna wake him up aren't you?" Shippo asked with a grin. She gave him a smile and a nod that sent him scurrying up to the house. When he disappeared from sight, she focused again on the sleeping man against the tree, half expecting to find he wasn't really there at all.   


Situation Analysis: The married man she had fallen in love with was asleep against a 500 year old tree in front of her shrine, with absolutely no plausible reason for being there. She had left him behind months prior, for the good of everyone involved, but somehow he managed to turn up in her life again. She could either rush up and throw herself against his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist and never let go, or she could rush up, wrap her hands around his neck and squeeze until his face turned blue. Both courses of action seemed verifiable at that moment.  


Conclusion: Conclusion could not be reached. This made absolutely no sense at all and the known universe was careening out of control. Again!  


She ducked beneath the rope and stepped to his side, her eyes glued to his face for any sign of waking so she might either run away or attack violently. What was he doing here? Why would he possibly come all this way? She didn't dare to hope…No! She couldn't even allow the thought.   


He looked so peaceful, laying there asleep beneath the branches blowing in the wind. How could he be so at peace when she was so full of turmoil inside? Why should he! Her brows drew together irritably at his nerve for being so damn comfortable and making her so nervous at the same time.  


Well, she needed to wake him up…  


So she poked him between the ribs with her finger, hard, making him yelp and jump out of his peaceful slumbering.  


"What in the…." He looked around wildly for a moment before his eyes settled on her face and he became still. "Kagome." He whispered. "You're here."  


"Well yeah." She said. "Of course I'm here…" she stammered a little, finding it hard to hold on to her irritation when he was looking at her like that. "… but what I want to know is… why are you?"  


"You left." He said quietly, whether a simple observation or his answer for her, she wasn't sure.  


"Yes, I did." She nodded. "But what about Kikyo?"   


"She left." He said.  


She glanced away from him quickly. So he was just alone? Both of them left him and he just didn't want to be alone? "Why did you come to me, then?" she asked quietly, praying to any deity that would listen that she would like his answer.  


"Miroku told me to." He said.  


Kagome decided then that praying gets you no where, but a good right hook… now that's useful! Inuyasha barely had time to react before he caught the fist that came flying at his head and pushed the angry woman back away from him. "Wait!" he yelled trying to get her to stop trying to kill him. "That's not what I meant!"  


"What did you mean then?!" she yelled back just as loud. "Your wife just leaves you so you just think, 'Oh yeah! That other girl! I can go to her and everything will be cool!' is that how it was?!"  


"No!" He stopped trying to push her back, and instead suddenly dragged her arms towards him. Not expecting the change in direction, she flew forward and hit his chest while he pinned her arms beneath his own and held her in a firm embrace. She struggled a bit before realizing just how much stronger and how well he had her arms pinned. "The divorce was final six months ago. I couldn't even get up the nerve to go to your apartment until yesterday. When you weren't there, I didn't know what to do."  


She was calmer now and he ran his fingers absently through the hair cascading down her shoulders. She found her mouth conveniently close to his ear and whispered, "And Miroku and Sango… they..."  


"Shoved me out the door with a suitcase and a plane ticket." He nodded against her shoulder.  


"So…" she pulled back enough to look into his eyes. "You're not married?"  


"No." he said and pulled her back down. They sat contentedly for a few moments before a terrible thought crossed his mind. "You're not either, right?"  


She slapped the back of his head with her palm and muttered something about men and stupid.  


Kagome sighed into his shoulder. "So…" she said quietly. "What happens now?"  


"I don't know." He whispered back. "What do you want to happen?" he pushed her forward so he could see her face. She glanced around him, to the house to find a grinning family standing on the front steps watching her with conspiratorial ease. She gave a wink and a nod to them so they would to back inside before turning back to the man holding her.  


"Would you like to stay for dinner?" she asked with a smile.  


"I'd like that." He smiled back up into her happy eyes. He took the hand she held out to him and pushed himself back onto his feet. She pulled him towards the house, and he gripped her hand a little tighter as they walked side by side, still clasping hands.  


_ ***  
_

So, the hardest thing I've ever had to do   
Was holding her, and loving you   


***  


**Epilogue:**  


Inuyasha did end up staying for dinner that night… and the next… and the next… And for the next month, they spent every evening together, exploring the city and having any adventure they could fit into their fleeting moments. He reluctantly went back to work, much to the dismay of his brother who foolishly hoped to believe he would be rid of him once sent off to the states. Inuyasha had merely needed something to fill the time while Kagome was away, having refused to give up her work, but the fact that he was irritating the hell out of brother-dearest was one huge occupational perk.  


They had a passionate romance, filling every moment of their lives with the simple of joy of being with each other.  


They broke up a month later…  


…  


For about an hour…  


…  


…  


Then Inuyasha went out searching for her, and they made up…  


…  


Five times.  


They are currently working on their forth kid.   


And none of them turn the lights off once they leave the room.  


Miroku stayed with Sango in California, suddenly finding himself the president of a thriving company and in a steady relationship with a woman who could cook. He was a satisfied man, except for the massive amounts of digital baby pictures that littered his email inbox on an almost daily basis. He tried to delete them as quickly as possible, lest the lovebirds give his own significant other any ideas he wasn't all that eager to indulge at the moment. It's not the best plan to use the old, _'Will you bear my child?'_ line when a man finds himself in a situation where the woman will likely be receptive.   


In life, there are moments of great joy that can only be seen with a backdrop of sorrow. People live in hard times, and suffer for their patience and belief that someday, if they are faithful in their trust and not just a little bit lucky, love will stumble into their lives. And if it does, they clasp onto it and pray that the joy will last. Then they do the one thing they can do: they buy a little ring, take a deep breath, and hold on for dear life to the love they hope will make them whole.  


They have a life together, sharing each others sufferings and triumphs, and if their lucky, the happy moments will outnumber the bad.  


In life, unlike faerie tales, there are no happy endings, no glass slippers, no spinning wheels, and no magic mirrors. This was the story for Inuyasha and Kagome. They lived with enough joy to keep them enduring, enough trials to keep them strong, enough stubbornness to keep them from just calling it quits, and enough love to make it worth all the effort. But of course, the real stories never have happy endings. It's impossible, because in real life, nothing ends.  


For Inuyasha and Kagome, they lived, if not happily ever after, at least pretty close to it.  


And that worked for them.  


_ It's over!!!! (Strongbad Style) _


End file.
